pEnUnGgU pUaKa wAyAnG~

Friday, December 31, 2010

done and starting again~

done with my 2nd professional exam and passed it already
which means i get to enter sem 10 with pride...hehehe
but thats already the past...
no point talking about it anymore..
i won't say i am doing it good anyway but hey, that's about it..
i have to look forward to this last sem into my doctorate degree..
damn, that's scary~
but haven't i said that i will keep fighting?
yep, that, i will do~

adios 2010, welcome 2011

p/s: i am off to kuching for 3days 2 night...wee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

so sad

when it comes to the differences between religions, people should watch "my name is khan"
then you will know..humans are all the same..regardless of their belief, creed and race..color..
we all have the same red blood, share the same round earth, the same shining sun, the same beautiful stars..
what differs us from others is our deeds...you may be a Muslim, but if you act like a person with no heart and sympathy, making other people's life miserable, can you proudly say that you are a Muslim..? or if not proudly, can you even say you are a Muslim??

do not use Islam as a reason to make you politically successful..
it just makes you look stupid..
we are all Muhammad saw's beloved ummats..he says so when he is dying..he never says his ummat are only the Muslims.. we are all his ummat..
he never forbids non-Muslim to come to the mosque wearing whatever they wanted..
he didn't even get angry when a non-Muslim went into the mosque and pee in it...he only clean it up quietly and advices the person, which make the non-Muslim opens his heart and becomes a Muslim..
whats more just for an exercise with all the other Muslims, would you imagine the prophet will be ever be angry about it??

isn't that the beauty of Islam?
it has never make restrictions to anything at all...
it all depends on your heart and niat..

people around the world (apart from Malaysia) enters the mosque regardless of their religion to learn about Islam..freely...and the Muslim brothers there greets them with pleasure in whatever cloth they are wearing...why can't we become like them instead of shove people away and tarnish the beauty of Islam??

it sickens me to the core...

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

it's not over yet~

i despises exams..
however, i don't deny the need to follow its establishment..else i'll be stuck with this quarter a million loan or maybe more if i protests against exams..
despite that, i still fight to get thru...
unable to go against what i hate does not mean i am a coward..
but i am a  fighter who takes challenges
i still need to fight for the betterment of my future, my country, my family, my hereafter..
because fighting is what humans are made for...
what i am made for

i will never stop fighting...
the outcome may be undesirable but maybe that's because i am not fighting hard enough just yet..
or maybe my plans are not working out well
or maybe those plans are just not good..
and that deserving success is not my option just yet..
well, fine~
at least i know i have done my part and i will continue doing so in a more organized strategies
with higher spirit...
with bold heart and bright head
so that i can proudly say that i am His servant who has NEVER quit..

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

tomorrow is D-day~

D-day being death day...
hahahahahha
sonoknye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sok last paper...and paper yang paling mencabar tapi paling senang nak tanda pasal sumbat je masuk mesin and mesin tandekan...
hebatkan mesin tuh? aku siyes nak g jumpe ngan mesin tuh and kasik jahanam same die pasal kalo org yang tande, tendency untuk tersilap tanda tuh tinggi...hahahahaha

bongoks..
seperti biase, malam neh aku takmo study
mau makan kek and berangan ape nak bwat kuching nanti (hopefully tercapaila hajatku ini~) hehehehe
drooliinngg~~


a post before mandi~

3 papers down...2 more to go
i was just hoping that someone out there will say, you are doing really well and i am proud of you..
so that i will be able to walk these next 2 papers with at least the smallest spring under my feet..3 papers can almost always determine just how badly or good-ly you have done...
but its only a cross-sectional views of what you are capable of..
you prepared well, studied well and you forced your brain to work to its fullest remembering the important details..and when the exam come, your heart just simply fails you..but remember that God is and always still there..He who never fails anyone like human did to another human being...
exams are not a diagnostic procedure to confirm that your brains are just empty...
its there to rank you~


Monday, December 27, 2010

in ALLAH we trust~

“Barangsiapa bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Dia akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar.

Dan memberi rezeki kepadanya tanpa di sangka-sangka.
Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkannya.
Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan yang dikehendakiNya.
Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu.”

At-Talaq 2-3




Saturday, December 25, 2010

lepas geram

 selepas menangis seperti si gila kerane stress dengan exam tadi (ye, saye sangat2 depress sebab terase diri ini sangat2la bodoh tahap cipan langit ke lapan belas), make malam tuh kami meng-treat ourselves dengan foods!! hahahaha

kedai neh agak baru la tapi da lame la...(mende aku cakap neh)

name die red wok

and juadah die more kepade chinese and thai food...steamboat pon ade..buffet pon ade...

tapi meskipon kitorang neh tengah stress, tapi takdelah deserve plak makanan yang cam mahal gile sampai rm30 seorang kan...gile sangat tuh..


aku makan nasik paprik je...tapi memang kalo korg tengok tade rupe nasi paprik yang normal yang biase korang tgk tuhla..nasik die macam normal la kan, tapi lauk die daging yang berkuah kaler hitam taruk cendawan dan cili benggala (HAHAHAHA) and rase die lebih kepade blackpepper punye cooking and memang sedap amatlaaa...memang harge die berbaloi dengan rasa yang boleh dapat kat hotel tuh...ngaa..teringat pon da terliur...seb bek da pokai


die plak makan nasik ayam masam manis...yang neh memang aku tabik spring tahap meloncat ah....ayam die digoreng crispy and ade kuah sour yang manis juge...gandingan mantap yang membuatkan aku takley lupe..haihhhh...sedap weyh!!! and aku tak tipu kalo aku cakap sedap pasal kalo die rase biase2 je aku lagi suke dok diam..hahaha


and air plak aku minum ais blended peach yang memang best gile...masam manis yang tak terlalu over..sedang2 and memang kene ngan taste bud aku..pait plak minum mango...die cam puree ke ape tapi kat dasar die mango..for him, aku tau die ade kedai air mango faverit die, so that one yang ktorg minum malam tuh comes second la kot...

harge tak sampai rm25 pon...and kalo die mahal pon berbaloi la pasal kualiti makanan die da tahap hotel..
jangan riso, halal punye kedai neh~
aku pegi pon sebab ade sorang lecturer aku da pergi bawak famili die..so tryout aku punye turn la eh..
kalo sesape nak pegi, tempat neh sebenarnye aku rase susah sikit nak carik kalo org tak familiar dengan area bangi...tapi lets say sesape nak pegi gak redah, ianye terletak di area seksyen 7, bandar baru bangi...taman kajang impian ye..(pelik dok? kejap bangi kejap kajang tapi itulah hakikatnye...huhu)

red wok, ko tggu ah bile aku ade duit nnt aku konfem datang lagik...hahahha

Friday, December 24, 2010

have faith in Allah~


Every time

You feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and that you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless you can't see which way to go
Don't despair
And never lose hope
'Cause Allah is always by your side


Insha Allah
You'll find your way

Every time
You commit one more mistake
You feel you can't repent and that it's way too late
You're so confused
Wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full shame
But don't despair
And never lose hope
Coz Allah is always by your side

Turn to Allah
He's never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Ya Allah
Guide my steps, don't let me go astray
You're the only one who can show me the way
Show me the way

InshaAllah
We'll find the way



"ya ALLAH aku hanya berserah kepada kekuasaanMu...seandainya kejayaan aku menjadikan aku lebih dekat denganMu dan menjadikan aku insan yang mampu membantu hamba2Mu, maka Kau bantulah aku untuk mendapatkan kejayaan ini...seandainya tidak, sesungguhnya Kaulah Tuhan yang Maha Adil lagi Penyayang..."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

pass ke tak?

huk..
saye da nak exam hari jumat neh..
kalo kantoi make tak masuk ah sem 10 iaitulah sem terakhir..
saye sangat pening..nak bagi pass ke tanak..
sebab, kalo pass, sape plak kate lepas tuh dah tade exam?
and sape plak kate kalo pass, exam lepas neh lagi senang dari yang saye nak amek neh??
sigh~
kalo tak pass plak, sampai bile saye nak jadik budak sem 9 eh?
takkan takmo keje...?
keje pon satu hal...sape kate keje best?
sonok ah pasal dapat duit, tapi pengorbanan kerje tuh bukan calang2...
last2 duit banyak tapi tataw nak bwat ape...
hurm~
macam tah pape plak kan?
tuhla, sape soh gatai nak amek course neh (saye ke yang nak ke sape yang nak sebenarnye ye?)
lagi satu hari tinggal and then exam akan bermule...
saye tataw saye da sedia ke belum ke...
doa dan tawakal jela sebab kalo nak ikotkan buku neh bertindan2 memang sampai kene kapan pon tataw sempat abis ke tak kalo nak bace semua..
semoga ilmu yang saye study neh diberkatilah so walaupon tak dapat nak bace semua, tapi still dapat pass exam..
aim saye tak tinggi mane sangat pon..
apelah sangat kalo dapat dean's list ke distinction ke..dlu dapat distinction pon tak dapat pape...hahaha
so sekarang takmo ah bende2 kebendaan neh...just nak kasik pass and jadik orang yang berfungsi bile dah kerja nanti...at least tau la ape nak bwat bile berdepan dengan sebarang masalah..
hurm~
boleh ke pass ye skrg neh?
tengok semua orang study bagai nak gila, tapi saye rase seperti sangat complacent sahaje...
padahal hari2 pon bukak buku..tapi macam tatau ape2 jugak lagik..
blur dah..
tataw dah ape nak bace lagi..
mungkin continue jelah ape yang dibuat skrg..
dari tak bwat pape seperti mengup-date blog..
MAKAN BUDAK!!!!!!!!!!
ye tak?
hahahahaha

Friday, December 17, 2010

the oddity~

went to natural muzium aka muzium alam semulajadi at precint 15 putrajaya and saw excellent rocks which is of course not the normal rocks you'll see in your daily life..i am not a rock lover, unless you count the ones that sits on my fingers (none~)...though i'd really love to have one of those meteor rocks that they've turned into rings, lockets and earrings which they are selling there and kinda pricey but of course they are rocks from the moon that landed on the earth man!! how cool is that??? you might not be able to bring your love ones to the outer space (even Sheikh Muszaffar can't do that, poor darling wifey~hahaha) but you definitely can bring the outer space thingy for you love ones...hehehehehe..so here are some pics...unfortunately i forgot to snap those lovely meteor rings and lockets...shite~

this one has got some fossils on it...i thought it was roses frozen to the stone but actually they are snails...hahahaha

this one definitely has got a leaf on it...cool ehh

this is a stone with multiple dinosaur eggs stucked on it...i thought it was a dinosaurs's gallbladder with stones in it..huk~ cute right? stones that become stones

i dunno what this is..it says there dessert rose but it most definitely does not resemble any kind of roses that i know

this is a stone of some type that i cannot spell that has been carved into a statue made for someone by someone from a gobbledegook island..hihi

ooooo...i love this stone cez it looks like the organization of my plates in my kitchen..har (yes, i do have a VERY wide imagination)

this is a thing called small dean (i am NOT joking)..to whomever that aspires to become a dean, maybe you need one of this in your living room...for luck..(yeah, i am joking~) haha

ah, a long lost friend of his...hahahaha...see, the same shirt color~auww so sweet...harharhar (i am DEFINITELY joking)

the reason that i am dead and being reborn again is that this bryde whale ate me and got himself preserved so that i am being released again...


Thursday, December 16, 2010

mandrhfbgreyhbvdkjsnasdbehjfbwehedawsn!!!

marah dan bosan dengan 2 bende ini pada hari ini:

1. setelah sekian lama tak bukak paper selain dari kosmo, make arini adelah hari bersejarah bagiku sebab bukak another paper berheading biru...paper tuh ade la dalam 10 muke surat tuh and each helaian aku rase nak muntah je...bukan sebab bende tuh busuk or ade gambar scary-mary tapi each headline die sume dok mengutuk orang tak hengat...menyampah betol la...dahla mengutuk kat dalam TV..neh dalam paper nak tambah lagi...memang siryes aku tak tipu neh...buuuwwwweeekkkk~~~aku tak kate la paper lain tade bende2 tuh. tapi dah paper yang neh yang aku bukak, so naseb ko la...hahahahaha...last2, aku campak terus paper tuh ketepi...seb bek selame neh tak penah beli paper macam tuh, at least tak membazir duit aku beli bende yang taunye mengutuk orang n tataw pun kesahihannye...(lucky aku bukan artis...har9)

2. crazy motorcyclist yang tak penah belajar care2 nak tengok dan menggunekan lampu isyarat..bengong betolla...tak sedar diri ke yang kalo sebarang kemalangan berlaku, pemandu motosikal akan terime akibat paling dasat berbanding orang lain? most of them die on the spot kot...untuk orang2 neh, aku nasihatkan la, sile la jadik selfish sikit (ke sebab selfish jadik camnie?)...ko takmo pedulik pasal orang lain takpe ah bai, tapi sile pedulik pasal diri sendrik ye...huh~

sekian~

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

go computer...GO!!!!

not some sort of race..yep~
its just so amazing that even when my laptop is lazing about in another country city and serving another owner.. i can still get my blog and facebook and emails functioning...
n i am not supposed to do so...cez that's the whole point of leaving my own laptop in the faraway land~duh~

supposed to be having a revision class today but i don't feel like going...i guess, classes are just not good for my stress level, else i might need some BP pills...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

nervous breakdown

i hate exam and what it did to me...

my circadian sleep wake cycle is totally disrupted
that i cannot sleep at all at night which is very well cez i can spend the night reading or praying...
and then theres the light-headedness during subuh due to lack of sleep..
so i sleep after subuh which is SO NOT VERY WELL..cez, sleeping after subuh means bad luck right? but i have been sleeping after subuh for all my life...kekeke
but the shitty thing about trying to sleep is that sleep just won't come because of this painful shoulders..
i just can't get into the at-least-comfortable position to sleep, what's more getting into the most comfortable position and its irritating the hell out of me i almost scream into nothingness at 6.00am in the morning which is also supposed to be bad luck...
i HATE this shoulder..

and i woke up at 1.00pm....and wondering how sleep can actually withdraw my thoughts out of my already empty brain and thick skull (i sound like someone i despise!) and causes me to be unable to remember anything i read the night before....
well, no wonder i just can't sleep...sleep is a scary, thought-catching thing that haunts the night and makes me a zombie when i woke up and the thought of not knowing anything only makes life worse...

damn whoever creates exams and its establishment...who are you? may you rot in hell....dear trees, please pray with me, because the whole wide world knows that exams are the many sole cause of your extinction...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

right place, right moment?

i am currently at home...

and i am in a middle of my study leave....

get it??

oh maybe you don't get it...

let me make this easy...

home and study leave is the worst combination ever..~

i can't concentrate at all...

and home makes me feels like: eh, what the heck is exam for~ i don't need it...huuu~

bad..bad...this is real BAD!!!

oh but what the heck? (i just said that a second ago)

i don't need exams...i NEED my family~ hehehehe

i have watched Princess and the Frog for the how many times and only yesterday i understood the moral of the story...which is, prioritize your objective in life and do not let life hazes your views on what you really need and what you want..they ain't the same thing~

Thursday, December 2, 2010

begin with the end in mind

penah tak rase pelik bile tengah2 drive and then terserempak dengan trefik jem (trefik jem tuh kawan aku ke?) and then kite pon redahla jem tuh dengan hati terbuke n kadang2 sempit pasal geram sangat or nak terkencing sangat ke cirit ke period dah bocor ke and then tetibe jem tuh hilang tanpe sebarang tande2 penyebab kepade jem macam eksiden or roadblock mahupon trefik light?

stress kan?

tapi sebenarnye itu sume berlaku kerane mungkin sume pemandu2 (or at least mereka2 yang menggunekan jalan yang same seperti aku) tak tahu mereka nak pegi mane, or tak reti nak merancang nak pegi kemane....yerla, bile da tataw mane nak pergi dah tentu tataw nak gune lane mane kan? pastu bile suddenly ternapak macam nak kene exit serta merta, make kelam kabut la nak tukar lane..macam mane tak jem macam tuh? yang peliknye, banyak plak keta buat macam tuh...ape, sume orang tetibe interested nak pegi hala yang aku pegi ke? huhu...

seboleh2 jadikla penggune jalan yang bertimbang rasa...kite tataw mungkin org2 dibelakang kite tengah ade emergency ape2 kan? kalo orang tuh teraniaya kerane kite, kite tetap menanggung dosa...mudahkan keje org lain, inshaAllah kerja kite akan mudah juge~

plan perjalanan anda, bukan plan destinasi je tapi plan lah jugak lane mane nak ikot ye...huhuhu~

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

damaged

yep..i am damaged, thats what i am...
each time i am done with my bed-side teachings or exams where i need to present or when i am required to answer questions, i hated myself..

i hate how i have been raised to become someone who has no confident in myself..
i hate the way i have been raised that i could not express my feelings or thoughts to people who wants me to do that by talking...and not by writing...
i hate the way i have been raised that i could not look into the face of the lecturers when they ask me questions that i know the answer...and in the end i frustrate them with illogical answers
i hate the fact that when someone utters an expression of disbelief towards me, i lost faith on my own brain cells and heart...
i hate the fact that i am so scared...so timid...so discouraged...
i hate the fact that all these facts makes me feel that i shouldn't be here, that i do not belong in this profession...

why do you even want your daughter to become a doctor, when you damaged her self esteem beyond repair she couldn't even have some faith or confidence in herself??

~cry~

Monday, November 29, 2010

5 person you meet in heaven

another book by mitch albom (he is by far my second best writer, the first one being JK Rowling..hik~)
lots of quotes i love in it and would like to share here:

  1. all endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it at the time...
  2. there are no random acts..we are all connected..you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from a wind
  3. fairness does not govern life and death..if it did, no good person would ever die young
  4. strangers are family you have yet come to know
  5. sacrifice is a part of life..its supposed to be..it's not something to regret..its something to aspire to..sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it...you're just passing it on to someone else
  6. holding anger is a poison. it eats you from inside. we think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. but hatred is a curved blade. and the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
  7. lost love is still love. it takes different form, that's all..you can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around the dance floor..but when those senses weaken, another heighthens. memory. memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it. life has to end, love doesn't
  8. each affect the other and the other affect the next..the world is full of stories but the stories are all one
  9. love, like rain can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. but sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its root, keeping itself alive

Friday, November 26, 2010

number~

when i was a kid, i have always been forced to be good in my academics...
i have been forced to be the best of everything...particularly academics...

i have never remembered being a child when i was supposed to be a child...never remembered what cartoon i loved to watch as a child..what video games i used to play if theres any...my life at that time were always filled with screams and beating because i could not answer some stupid math questions..a stupid math question that i could not understand what is so important about knowing it and how to use it in the future at all...that gets even worse when i am going for my UPSR exam...i remembered only watching TV from the reflections on the marble floor...life has always been about reading a science book and doing some math problems...(none of it is ever useful for me or anyone i know except just to memorize it stupidly and answer the exam questions and then forget about it)..despite getting good enough measures of beating and curses, my results were never appreciated...each time i bring home my report book with me not being the best student of the class only gives frustrations to my parents...i live with their frustrations, with their sigh at my dumbness...i guess, i am nothing to be proud of...until towards the end of my primary school i managed to become part of the top 5 students, but still, my UPSR for them was never the best as i only managed to get 4A and 1B...they were sad that i may not be able to leave them to go to a good boarding school...how stupid is that? but because of the pressure of living with them, i was so excited with the idea of being accepted to a faraway boarding school...and i managed to leave....
numbers make me leave my family...which i regretted when i started my boarding school..
and numbers are what making me keep living with my friends only...

i remembered vividly all the pressure even only thru phone...when i talked to dad and all he wanted to know was what number i get and whether i'll be able to beat other students...i hated that back then and even now...
even now, the question of whether i can get a 3.5 makes my blood boil...
as i grew up i realize numbers are just numbers...

u get 5As for UPSR and you got admitted to the best school in the country and you were surprised to find that there are people who managed to get into the school with 3As...and you are dismayed to know that your UPSR actually means nothing at all to anyone cez u are living the same life as everyone...
then u struggled for ur PMR...and u get 9As but then again, u realize u r still living the same life...only achieving some good numbers for nothing..and u live with those who barely pass...and u live the same life as others...nothing changed...then u struggle for SPM because everyone told you that this is the finale of your life..what will determine your future..and u give ur best shot, u got 20As and u got admitted to the world best university with those who only get 5As...u still live the same life as others...even worse, u found out that your friends who fails their SPM is doing well without having to go to universities...you are better because you have numbers to allow you a degree and a posh job..well, you thought you are at the top of the world and you realize, that once you are a university graduate, you are almost always an employee..unless you do something more creative, you'll only become an employer at the age of 60....but how many managed to think of something creative?? because, all we care thruout our lives are numbers...to score...to beat others..to be the best student..u forgot that once u graduated, the best student or not u r, it does not matter at all anymore..what matters most is whether you can do your work competently or not

and in the end, we become like a practical employee..bunch of graduate scholars who do not know how to do their work because all the time they spend at university is only to grab good numbers rather than how to be a good worker...to serve others rather than beat them..to improve the country rather than thinking for your own self....

scoring is nonsense

chase numbers, it'll only make life miserable for you...but chase excellence and success will chase you, pants down...

(a reminder for me not to become lazy~zzz)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Why do we read Quran, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word????


A BEAUTIFUL STORY ABOUT QURAN...

An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Quran. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Quran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?' 

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, 'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead

The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!'

'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.'

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.' 

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH & his family) said : *'The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally.'

p/s: special thanx to my dearest lecturer, mr Ahmed Awil Adam...who never stop nurturing us to be a better person~

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

raya di perantauan~

ceh, tak boleh blah kot tajuk..
tade merantau mane de...dok KL je haa...tapi tak dapat balik raya pasal cuti raya sehari je..
hahaha
so takot penat sangat kite lepak jela sini..
kunun2 nak study kan, last2 aku g menjahit plak bwat 2nd beg...best tapi tak best sebab yg neh kecik n aku baru realize aku tak suke beg kecik2...hehehe
oh ok...
raya haji taun neh aku celebrate with faiz n 2 of my bestfriends (naj and azrul~)..pasal sume org da balek kg tinggal kami berempat je kat umah sewa...hahahaha...so pepagi pkul 730am da gerak g umah member2 neh kat DPP (desa pinggiran putra)..bukak pintu umah dorg, hah amek ko terbongkang satu mamat tak reti bangun lagi...hahaha sian die, baru tido pkul 4 am pasal nak masakkan menu ktorg haritu iaitulah masalodeh n sambal sotong~ dorang g semayang raya, aku dok layan drama raya...cite nyawaku dihujung tali gantung ke ape ntah, last2 aku tak sempat pon tgk die kene gantung ke tak sebab da tukar cite..balek2 je bebudak tuh, terus arr melantak...adela nasik impit faiz masak, beli lemang tepi jalan, layan~!! hoh...best gile beb member aku neh masak..memang terus ilang stigma aku laki masak tak sedap...hahah..aku makan dekat 5 mangkuk kot lontong..hadoi~memang mantap gile sampai skrg dok teringat n nyesal pasal tak bawak balek sekalih...aih
pastu ktorg layan ah cite 3 idiots..pergh, memang sdey..sape2 tak tgk lagik silala tgk ye~bagi sikit insight kepade kite dan hidup kite...and then, naj plak (juge sorang lelaki) masak gulai ayam...huiyo~memang best ah~jadikla gulai ayam tuh lunch ktorg, makan ngan nasik impit gak ngan lemang...hik9...best...n layan cite stephen chow..hik9...memang superbest ah...ak balek je umah terus berdengkur sampai pkul 8pm...lemang2 dan nasik2 dan santan2 neh memang ubat tido yang maha kuat...

in summary, wlupon raya tak balek kampung, tapi takpe, aku ade kawan2 yang sangat best dan makanan yang sedap2 to cheer me up!!

thanx frens..i hope this won't be the last wlupon aku tataw raya haji taun depan kite dpat jumpe lagi ke tak..ape kate kite bwat cam 3 idiots tuh? jmpe every year wlupon sekali? hahaha


dari kiri: faiz nasik impit, azrul masalodehsambalsotong, mosh si omnivor

featuring naj gulai ayam...hehehe

STEPHEN CHOW!!!!!!
p/s: tak lupe juge kepade mosh n waqi kerane menjadik lelaki sejati...iaitulah tukang makan...hahahaha

Sunday, November 14, 2010

beg~gie~hoho

my own first beg that i made with my own hands...hwaaa..happynye!!!!!!!!
(fully done by: 9.00pm, 141110~)

and i sew it using my hands...which means, no machine is involved in the making of this thing....hahahaha...its kinda comot but who cares, its only the inside that is comot...is going to make another one this week...wee

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

puteri~

someone wanted me to join puteri UMNO...
but i refused it point blank because of  Malaysian's history

the reason that the person wanted me to join this ''club'' is because it is a so-called way to repay the country for providing me with good education..well, to me, repaying the country has got nothing to do with joining any political clubs..repaying the country is serving my countrymen and women regardless of their political views, RACE and religion..because it is their hard-earned tax money regardless of their political view, RACE and religion as long as they are Malaysian that provides me my education...those political men only took their money, put it in a resource centre before being given to me..and in history, it has shown that Malaysian has never been a country of only one race..whoever political people that held the government, they are just there to make things ''right'' but its the people of Malaysia, again, regardless of political views, RACE and religion that work to build this country starting from independant day..its their money, so its them i should be repaying...

another reason that person gave me to join this puteri club is to fight for the Malay's right alongside them..i dun like this Malay's right thingy...i think it is irrelevant already..everyone should have the similar rights as a Malaysian citizen because as i say, this country is known to be multiracial..all countrymen regardless of political view, RACE and religion as long as they are Malaysian works hard to build this country..it is their money, their 400 bones and brain, their sweats that make this country functions..and most of the time, the non-Malays works harder then the Malays...its a reality that everyone can see..don't they deserve equal rights too? if rights are what people want, for me, its the Muslim's right vs non-Muslim's rights which the prophet had told us...and this is an Islamic country right? and anyway, the thought that i am malay, u r a chinese, he is an indian is very dangerous...we are Malaysians, right? and that's what matters...maybe someone will question me, are u not afraid for your child's future? my answer is simple, my child's future should be in his/her hands, brains and bones...not in the hands of some political rules and certainly does not depend on his/her ID status..

Sunday, November 7, 2010

oh TIDAAKKK!!!!

berat aku da mencapai tahap menakutkan..
pelik aku
aku rase aku tadela ketare sangat tembam ke ape...
cam tak padan je ngan berat badan aku neh...
benci!!!!!!!!!!

make terpaksela aku memikirkan cara2 nak turunkan berat badan...
kalo la aku ade sorang nutritionist mase neh, hepinye aku (sambil kunyah roti cream cheese)

so petang neh kene g joging...
kene stat diet...

pepagi makan roti je same air susu...
tengahari seboleh2 makan ikan, sayur ngan buah...
malam aku da tataw nak makan ape...toksah makan la kot.. (mengarutla plak rasenye begitu)
no more air manis ntk aku...

huk...takmo gemuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kucing oh kucing

sakit hati kemain ngan kucing neh...banyak betol songeh nye rase cam nak tampar2 je lelaju...aku da bagi makan ikan tuh, makan jela...yang kecoh ikan tuh bukan ikan kembung ape kes weyh??? aku ikan pon tak kenal selain dari ikan sardin dalam tin, yang ko serabut sangat apehal? sape plak aja ko name2 ikan dan care2 membezakannye sedangkan ko dari kecik makan biskut je? haihh panas betol la!!

pastuh plak kalo aku tak masak ikan tuh, jangan kan nak makan, pandang pon tak mahu...weyh incik kucing, aku pon tak masak ntk diri aku sendrik tetiap ari taw tak?? dah tu plak, sape plak aja ko ikan masak bole rase lain dari yang tak masak? ko lapar en, dah tuh mentedarah jela...nehla die kalo manje sangat...pasneh sumbat biskut je senang..padan muke ko..sape soh tak reti bersukur? heee...bikin hangin satu badan ditengah malam betol la...ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!! len kali bagi ko kebulur seharian baru aku bagik ko makan, nak???

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

karangan pelik

karangan pelik mase skolah yang sampai sekarang aku tak paham kenape aku kene buat...:

karangan no. 1: "saya sebatang pen", " saya seutas jam", saya sebuah kereta", " saya sebuah kerusi","saya sebijik bom"...bla3...kenape ye aku nak jadik memane satu yang tersenarai diatas??? dah tuh plak jalan cite die same je..(at least ntk aku la kan)...cam pikir2 tak logik la plak kalo setakat nak meningkatkan imaginasi pasal cite die same je walaupon karangan itu mengisahkan aku dalam ape saje kategori bukan manusia yang ade kat dunia neh...memule tuan aku beli aku, pastu sayang2 aku pastu aku pon terbakar ke, kene buang ke ape ke...hahahahaha...tapi aku layan jela, takot kene marah ngan cikgu..huk..

karangan no. 2: "kepentingan melancong di Malaysia" ke "barang import vs export"..eheh lebey kuang macam neh la tajuk die...ala yang part2 time ekonomi malaysia cam down gile pastuh betape pentingnye untuk kite tak beli barang import, and promote pelancong datang malaysia and jangan pergi overseas...ade satu point yang mesti wajib kene ade iaitulah jangan beli brg import (dan yang seangkatan dengannye) sebab nanti duit malaysia mengalir keluar ke ape bende tuh...aku memang kantoi ah kalo nak imagine part neh...MENGALIR??? like how??? and then kalo die mengalir keluar yang ntah macam mane cikgu tak pernah explain langsung pasal die pon tak belajar akaun ke ape ke tetibe negare bankrap..memang aku tak paham langsung hahahaha...well, bile dah besar neh pon aku tak paham jugak~lalalala~naseb ah~

karangan no. 3: "keburukan merokok" hahahaha...mase tuh tak jadik medical student lagi and cikgu yang mengajar tuh pon tataw ape keburukan merokok kan...so point yang dorang suke ketengahkan ialah merokok menyebabkan kebakaran...mase tuh aku layan jela kan...citela org neh kaki rokok pastu buang puntung rokok rate2 pastu puntung tuh tangkap kertas surat khabar pastuh tibe2 satu rumah hancur terbakar...kekekeke...aku siyes tak paham tapi kalo tak buat kang kene marah plak pasal dah tataw ape point nye...tapi semakin aku da jadik tua neh, bile direflek balik tak penah lagi la aku dengar umah terbakar pasal puntung rokok...yang aku dengar, perokok2 ni tergolong dalam orang-orang yang sangat tinggi risiko untuk kene darah tinggi, kencing manis, kolesterol tinggi, sakit jantung, angin ahmar, kanser, gangrene, paru2 rosak, buah pinggang rosak..bla3...

karangan no. 4: "rumahku, syurgaku"..yang neh memang takley blah...pasal mase aku PMR, aku amek bahasa arab gak tau...punyela aku benci bahasa arab mase tuh n tak study langsung pastu tetibe da nak PMR baru aku terpikir, eh kang soklan karangan aku nak bwat ape eh? so beberape jam sebelum exam arab tuh aku hapal la karangan bertajuk "rumahku, syurgaku"...kenape aku pilih tajuk neh pon aku tataw...punyela yakin konfem soklan karangan neh yang kuar kan...so gile punye hapal yang kalo org arab dengar neh memang dorang tabik hormat la kat aku...sekali masuk exam, soklan karangan dia memang totally lain gile punye iaitulah "sekolahku, syurgaku"...hamek ngko~cemane aku nak bwat lagi? aku kosa kata arab memang hampeh gile la kan...so, tanpe mempedulikan soklan exam, make aku pon tulis gak la karangan yang aku da hapal tuh...ala bukan jauh benar pon bezanye, dedua syurgaku la jugak kot...hahahahhaa...ingatkan fail dah arab mase tuh, rupenye dapatla C...kekekekeke...aku rasela examiner tuh salah tande kot paper aku..huk

ciaow~

Sunday, October 31, 2010

new ambitions..

there are 3 things i wanna invest into when i am grown up (whatever that means)...they might or might not correlate to each other but who cares...i love these 3 things and i want it to be part of my life..hahaha..they are:


  1. my own private clinic...one is enough, but more if i could...one that can actually help those in dire need in the outskirt area, but still allow me to have some pocket money...
  2. a book shop...one that sells whatever books regardless medical or non-medical....just a normal book shop like mph or so but instead of making a section for best seller books, i wanna make a section of "the owner's best read books" hehehe...so that i won't be like many readers who want to buy some books (especially novels) but dunno which to choose...i was once like that..i just wish that every books has got their own representative...
  3. a candy shop...so that i can make people sick of sugar intoxication and come visit me in my clinic (ha-ha okay that's a bad joke)...but i do love chocolates so much and rite now i have a fridge full of chocolates bought by my brother and i was so serenely happy! i love going into chocolate boutique and get myself drooling cez i know i can't afford it...so i want my own chocolate shop one day..it helps promote some endorphine release to make life happier (or worse in the end of the day~huhu)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

mr/mrs anne

i got my first ever patient who had palpitations...
he got dizziness, feels like vomiting, his blood pressure was very low and his heart rate was very fast, indicating that he is in cardiogenic shock because the heart is not supplying enough oxygen and blood to the body eventho it is beating like mad...i mean, it beats like mad but it is not effective beating...so there's poor blood supply to the brain and he got dizzy...

so what i did?
i patch the ECG thing on his chest and saw that his heart is really fast, what we call as ventricular tachycardia...if he is unresponsive and have no pulse, i might have defibrillate him (electrified his heart) but here he is looking restless and dizzy and still talking to me indicating that he is still having his pulses obviously, so there is no way i can defib him alive like that..

so think, think, think...ahh, he is unstable, so need to synchronized cardiovert him, which is almost the same as defib but done in patient who have pulse and we have to sedate him...(obviously! u dun wanna be electrified when u r concious rite???)

so i told the patient his option....which is that in his condition, we need to urgently convert his abnormally fast heart rate to a slower and normal heart rate so he can get good blood supply to his organ and not die of stroke or heart attack or heart failure....and we'll have to sedate him of course...
so the patient, being so dizzy and all agreed to it....

then we started....

we gave him his sedation..and he slept~

we charged the paddles, yelled, "u clear! i clear! everyone's clear!"

and served the electric to heart...and prayed...

guess what?

he went into ventricular fibrillation which is a very chaotic heart rate which is very bad indeed, which means that instead of getting a better heart rate, his condition actually deteriorated which also means he is near his death...oh God, have mercy on me!!

we CPR-ed like mad, we defib again, we gave him adrenaline to help the heart function better...and we prayed....we prayed...we prayed...well, i am d team leader, so i am at my wits end...damn~

and guess what again???

despite all the appropriate management based on all the algorithm from AHA, blood investigations that were normal, patient went into asystole..which means, that the heart does not want to beat anymore, which means that the option given to us is to CPR until we ourselves drop dead (no, i am joking..hahaha) and give him atropine to also force the heart to beat...no more defib allowed~so yeah, we did all that....

until, my team members cannot stand compressing the lung anymore, i stopped them all and said, " good job everyone! we'v done our best"
then i feel bad...hell, why is he not waking up???

guess what?

he's a cream colored skin and hair person, with no eyeball, no uvula, no movable limbs, his body is floppy from hip downwards, his upper limbs are rigid, he's got no tongue, no ear opening, no eyebrow, his nostrils are totally blocked...he's got no genitals..

oh don't worry...he has no syndromes at all..

in fact, he doesn't even breathe...

he's just a mannequin simulated to become a patient to make me a better prepared medical student...hee~~thanx anne the mannequin (u r supposed to be a male patient and i dunno why your name is anne), i hope u will not kill me for unintentionally killing u in the course of helping u live a better life...(now i am starting to freak out..what if she's chuck's mother????)

p/s: to people who have problems with palpitations, this post is not intended to scare u all off...its just a situation given my dearest lecturer who wants to irritate me...do no worry, this procedure if done following the specified and correct way will give a very good outcome...~

Sunday, October 24, 2010

hate..hated...hating

i hate my ugly face, hate my fat body, hate the fact that i am pathetically hating myself..damn!
i am confused weather i am having this episode of body dysmorphic disorder, or am i actually not deluded to the fact that whatever i think about myself is actually true??
help!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

janji~

mungkin bagi kamu janji tinggal janji...
tapi kamu lupa banyak perkara...
dan kamu lupa juge, aku tak penah lupa pada janji aku...
walaupon belum lagi mampu aku tunaikan diketika ini...
sebab aku hanya manusia biasa yang ade kiffarah yang harus dibayar...
kiffarah yang bukan kecil
yang tak mungkin aku boleh lari daripadanya dalam masa yang terlalu singkat...
aku hanya manusia yang ingin kembali kepada fitrah 
aku hanya manusia yang mempercayai takdir Tuhan

aku tahu kamu salahkan aku...
dan untuk kesekian kalinya, aku memohon maaf dari kamu...
cukup sudah segala penjelasan yang aku berikan dahulu...
aku tak mampu lagi membela diri...
terpulang ntuk kamu mengertikannya..

yang pasti, aku masih belum melupakan janji aku sebab aku masih lagi bernyawa...
dan hati ini masih berdenyut dengan kamu...

izinkan aku terus hadir melihat tidurmu~

p/s: stop torturing myself everyday...damn it!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

what personality disorder is yours?

personality disorder can be divided into 3 clusters:

cluster A: aka mad personality disorders..consist of schzoid, schizotypal and paranoid personality disorder
cluster B: aka bad personality disorders...consist of borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, anti-social personality disorders
cluster C: aka sad personality disorder..consists of dependant, avoidant and obsessive compulsive personality disorder

cluster A:

1. schizoid: social withdrawal (does not like to have friends), no desire for close relationship, eccentric and reclusive (sangat pelik), quiet, constricted affect (muke stone je memanjang~susah nak tgk die gelak atau sedey), take pleasure in few acts (tade hobi sangat..macam zombi ah)

2. schizotypal: eccentric behavior (pelik je jugak tgk die neh..suke ckp sensorg ke ape), peculiar thought pattern (as in memang sangat tak kene ah dengan manusia biase pemikiran die), idea of referance (kdg2 percaye bahawe bende2 kat TV, paper ke brite tgh bercakap pasal die), odd belief or magical thinking (haa, beware ye kepade sape yang percaye sangat kat magik2 neh), inappropriate affect (org gelak, die g bantai menangis), suspiciousness...

3. paranoid: pervasive distrust and suspiciouness (susah gile nak percaye kat orang, ade je salah org tuh), interpret motives as malevolent (org puji die pon die percaye sebenarnye org tuh dok menghine die and nak jatuhkan maruah die -ok, over gile plak aku neh), blames others, seems angry and hostile, preoccipied with doubts of loyalty (susah gile nak percaye kat orang especially pasangan die-beware sape balak kat jeles), defensive, salu suspect that pasangan die neh curang kat die

cluster B

1. antisocial: failure to conform to social norms (suke buat bende yang kbykan org normal tak buatla, cam carik gaduh ke), deceitful manipulative or repeatedly lying for own gain (gile punye jahat, suke manipulasi kebaikan org lain and suke menipu ntk kepentingan diri sndrik), impulsive (suke buat bende tanpe berfikiran panjang), irritable dan aggressive. reckless (tak pedulik pon keselamatan org lain dan diri sendirik), irresponsible, lack of remorse to action (tak penah pikir langsung ah nak bertaubat ke ape)

2. borderline: impulsive, moody, paranoid bile terlalu stress, unstable self image (salu pandang rendah kat diri sndrik tapi kadang2 over-poyo gak), labile relationship (suke tukar2 pasangan), suicidal salunya ntk tarik attention, inappropriate anger (tetibe je naik hangin), vulnerable to abandonment (sangat takot apabile org nak tggalkan die), salu merase kekosongan or emptiness

3. histrionic:  suke kat attention (uncomfortable if not at the centre of attention), seductive and provocative (cam whore la, suke gile menggode dan mem-provoke org), uses physical appearance to draw attention to self (contohnye mekap tebal2 n pakai seksi2 ntk bagi sume laki tgk kat die je), has speech that is impressionistic but lack with detail (cakap besar, tapi habuk tarak), dramatic (kalo die meluahkan perasaan die memang over punye la tgk), easily influenced, perceives relationship as more intimate then they really are (perasan..keke)

4. narcissictic: sense of superiority (merase diri sangatla pentingnye kepade kesejahteraan dunia-ok over balek), need for admiration (nak sume org adore die la), lack of empathy (tidak mengasihani manusia lain), consider self as special, exploits others for self (amboi~), grandiose but fragile self esteem..arrogant, envious

cluster C:

1. avoidant: social inhibition (sangat malu dengan orang lain!!!), intense fear of rejection (tanak kawan ngan org lain sebab takot nnt org tak suke die and reject die), avoid social interaction, desire companionship but extremely shy and easily injured (nak sangat ade pasangan hidup tapi sangatlaa malunye and takot kalo die kene rejek, nnt die sangat senang sakit hati)

2. dependant: poor self confident, fears separation (sangat takot separate ngan org yang die depend..sampai takley nak buat pape pasal terlalu dependant ngan org lain), have excessive need to be taken care of, feel helpless when alone, difficult makin decision (buat keputusan nak makan ape pon bergantung kat org lain, contohnyela), cannot express disagreement due to fear of approval (takot nak meluahkan ketidakpuasan hati sebab takot org yang die depend tu tak suke lalu meninggalkan die), urgently seek another relationship if one failed (kalo kene tinggal, make dengan segera die carik org lain ntk die depend plak)

3. Obsessive compulsive: perfectionist, inflexible (susah sangat nak ubah rutin die), orderliness (sume bende mesti kene ade susunan dan aturannye), preoccupied with details, rules, list, excessive devotion to work, will not delegate task (kalo die ketua, die buat keje sorg2 pasal die tak percaye org lain bole bwat keje se-perfect die buat), rigid and stubborn

source: first aid, psychiatric clerkship book~

haha...macam2kan? kadang2 bile bce2 terase macam sume bende ni kite ade, tapi perlu diingat apabile sesuatu dipanggil disorder maknenye ia adelah penyakit dan apabile die adelah penyakit, maknenye die menyusahkan dan mengganggu kehidupan harian kite...samela jugak ngan personality disorder ni, maknenye personaliti itu telah mendatangkan kesusahan kepade kite dan org2 lain sampai kite nak kerje ke, nak berpasangan ke berkeluarge ke berkawan ke sume tak boleh nak buat dengan sempurna macam org2 lain..kalo rase2 cam tgk member or famili ade kriteria diatas dan menyusahkan die ntk berfungsi dan menyusahkan diri kite sendirik, make cepat2la bawak die g jumpe doctor ok?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

(instrumental)

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven 


ERIC CLAPTON



P/S: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3OH371S93s&feature=related

Sunday, October 17, 2010

you II

nukilan dari mama untuk dia..
mama abadikan duka yang terkubur
pada tarikh keramat itu: 10-10-10

jangan disusun kata penamat
jangan ucapkan lagi baris2 ayat keramat
biar lenyap diserap sunyi
biar senyap yang tak menyepi

mari kita patahkan papan markah lama itu
mari kita padamkan buku 3 lima itu
biar saja luka sembuh sendiri..
biar kita lupa ditebus hari...

(adaptasi tolong ingatkan aku-ana raffali)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

hopefully~

i hope, when i am done with med school, i will be able to look back at time and say, thank goodness i did not sacrifice my weekends for things i do not like to do...which is to say, i will be able to wake up late, lazy-mazy, don't have to take the freakin cold bath early in the morning, indulge myself with this darn computer, listen to music as loud as i wanted to, stay in bed dreaming about whatever etc..yeap, so hopefully, when i finally HAVE to sacrifice my weekends which is to say that there will be no more weekends for me when i have finished studying, i will be pretty much satisfied and feels that i deserve the torture...huhuhuhu...

last time, when i was at school, i hated wednesday cez that was the co-curriculum day and we were made compulsory to march in the evening...oh my goodness, i HATE marching like anything...not because of the heat since our school is next to the sea, but because i don't freaking understand any words coming out of the instructor at all...so what i did was hide myself in one of the unused toilets and sleep or read books or gossiping with my other friends who also hates going to march..and yeah, i did that all year til i finished schooling...i guess i'd rather smell of toilet then having to make a fool of myself by going contralateral to whatever the commander says...

well..i thought i can getaway with it....but guess what, i was sentence to a 3 months of PLKN once i have finished SPM...
i cried like a baby...but then i look back, and think...oooohhh, so this is the punishment that i get for not attending the marching practice everyday..fine~we'll see about it...so yeah, instead of marching once a week, i get to march everyday morning and evening...hahahahahahhaha...but then, i do it with open heart because i have missed this marching thingy for 2 years of my secondary school...and i actually loved it because the commander taught us clearly on all the commands they give so i understood it and is able to avoid myself from making a fool of myself...yeap...it was fun, having to do things by force, but accepting it with open heart because i deserved it...it was not bad at all...in fact, i missed those 3 month so much!

well, am not saying that i am good enough to be enjoying in the weekends without studying...in fact, i am just an average student...i don't even know how i managed to come to this level...but i am soo afraid of graduating when i have not enjoyed the life of a medical student yet which includes waking up late on a weekend...huhu...i don't want to regret later...

so in order to be able to pass and live a happy weekend, i must now vow that i MUST study on weekdays, or else, i wouldn't deserve my weekends...yes...SET~

Thursday, October 14, 2010

BEHAVE!

saw this really cute 3 year old indian boy in child psychiatric clinic...soooo chubby and obese (not good!)..he came in with his grandma and was punching her all the time, yet still hugging her..he was also yelling at her in tamil and was giving her this really scary glares each time the grandma pushes him away from her because i think, for someone as frail as she is, that big boy is going to kill her just by hugging her tightly...

well, this mother brought her grandchild to the psychiatric clinic because she was worried with this child's aggressive behavior...apparently, this boy also have some problematic family issue..his parents are separated because the father is a drug dealer and addict and currently is in jail..and the mother has some mental illness...and this boy is used to watching his parents quarrel since he was 2 year old...though he is still a toddler, a toddler's brain is not something without functions...he remembers all this things...and another flaw was that his grandma allows him to watch all those violent and ghostly cartoons and movies..and the kid loves it till he didn't want to watch anything other than that...the movie that he likes best is tamil movies...this statement is kind of stereotype, but it is real that most of tamil movies has this similar story-line where violence are part of it and some people behaves kind of harshly...i'm not saying other movies do not have this features, but this boy is so into tamil movie which makes me highlight this issue...and being the only grandchild at home, he is overly pampered by his grandma...nothing that he wanted is being refused..and if so, he'll throw tantrum like the devil, shouting here and there, hitting everyone, throwing things, kicking and stuff..

during the clinic session, we gave him a toy phone to distract him from his grandma and his tantrums of hitting his grandma and whining about immediately stops...so he played with the toy and the psychiatrist talks to the grandma about changing this boy's lifestyle...basically, he's got to stop watching those violent and ghost-based movies (apparently he has some sort of hallucination related to the ghosts he watch from the TV)..and he has to go out and play because he is so obese (50kg for a 3 year old!!) and he is to be re-taught on who is the boss at home...

then when his session is about to finish, the doctor asked for the toy back..and then the tantrum starts all over again...he began shouting at his grandma and kicking her and then give her that tamil hero glare (it was soooo significantly similar to those in the tamil dramas that i feel like making the boy angry at me and take picture of his glare)..he also screamed,"CHAIIITTTT! to the grandma and the sound was so like those who got so frustrated whenever some other people insults them and then they spits on the ground or whatever...it was exactly the same and i was astounded yet felt like laughing all the same...

so the doctor asked the grandma to leave the boy and one step out of the door, the boy starts bellowing like crazy...he cried so hard and at that time surrendered every thing that he has (which is only the toy) to get back to his grandma...it was so sweet!! how a big 3 year old indian hero suddenly cried because the grandma is gone...hahahahahha..so we sent him back to his grandma after managing to take back the toy without even having to yell at him or hit and force him like many adults loves to do when faced with this kind of difficulty...all u have to do is let the child compromise with whatever they have to get whatever they need most and decide for themselves...do not underestimate their intelligence~

so this is what happens to most kids this days...they are not sick..but they are taught with wrong approach...parents or guardians allows them to do whatever they want and give them everything that they want so that the kid will sit quietly and the parents can work in peace..so they are exposed to the wrong things at the wrong age...they see things at different angle which is most of the time is wrong...they perceive things wrongly...and they grew up to be a troubled and dependent person..lucky that this boy was sent to psychiatrist early, so he can be saved early...so, please do justice to our child! (that is a big reminder for myself..huk)


p/s: i also learnt that kids this days has problem with speech..many of them have delayed speech not because they are autistic or mute, but because they have no one to talk to (parents working all day and night) and all that they can talk to is to the TV which definitely did not talk back to them, and in fact, shows mute cartoons such as Pingu which kids loves soo much...now i feel lucky because i have parents who loves to give me lectures when i was little so at least i don't have delayed speech...hehe

p/s 2: a study has proven that 2 hours TV watching for child at the age of 3-5 year old can cause behavior destruction...i freaked out to know this!! (cez my little sis spends like 24 hour watching TV..daymmnn)

HIT2 me...