nervous breakdown

i hate exam and what it did to me...

my circadian sleep wake cycle is totally disrupted
that i cannot sleep at all at night which is very well cez i can spend the night reading or praying...
and then theres the light-headedness during subuh due to lack of sleep..
so i sleep after subuh which is SO NOT VERY WELL..cez, sleeping after subuh means bad luck right? but i have been sleeping after subuh for all my life...kekeke
but the shitty thing about trying to sleep is that sleep just won't come because of this painful shoulders..
i just can't get into the at-least-comfortable position to sleep, what's more getting into the most comfortable position and its irritating the hell out of me i almost scream into nothingness at 6.00am in the morning which is also supposed to be bad luck...
i HATE this shoulder..

and i woke up at 1.00pm....and wondering how sleep can actually withdraw my thoughts out of my already empty brain and thick skull (i sound like someone i despise!) and causes me to be unable to remember anything i read the night before....
well, no wonder i just can't sleep...sleep is a scary, thought-catching thing that haunts the night and makes me a zombie when i woke up and the thought of not knowing anything only makes life worse...

damn whoever creates exams and its establishment...who are you? may you rot in hell....dear trees, please pray with me, because the whole wide world knows that exams are the many sole cause of your extinction...