yep..i am damaged, thats what i am...
each time i am done with my bed-side teachings or exams where i need to present or when i am required to answer questions, i hated myself..
i hate how i have been raised to become someone who has no confident in myself..
i hate the way i have been raised that i could not express my feelings or thoughts to people who wants me to do that by talking...and not by writing...
i hate the way i have been raised that i could not look into the face of the lecturers when they ask me questions that i know the answer...and in the end i frustrate them with illogical answers
i hate the fact that when someone utters an expression of disbelief towards me, i lost faith on my own brain cells and heart...
i hate the fact that i am so scared...so timid...so discouraged...
i hate the fact that all these facts makes me feel that i shouldn't be here, that i do not belong in this profession...
why do you even want your daughter to become a doctor, when you damaged her self esteem beyond repair she couldn't even have some faith or confidence in herself??
~cry~
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