pEnUnGgU pUaKa wAyAnG~

Friday, February 5, 2010

you...

yes you..
i saw you again and i shouldn't...its creepy
once i always wonder, if i leave you what's gonna happen to me...?
you bring me true love, showed me a heart being sacrificed for a love that seems to have no future...you took my hands and taught me to be strong again, to have faith in life, to believe that miracles do happen though it didn't..it never did...you are far away from me, yet your presence, your influence and your love was undefined...you are my hope though i know that hope for us is next to impossible, nevertheless it doesn't matter to you as long as we have each other....
but f0r how long can we stay together?
true love is there for you and me until the world ends, yet, is there you and me at all?
despite that, we promised to stay for each other..ever..
i believe in myself...i believe in you...i still do...
but things change without me realizing that this will happen...
and i left you for the unknown...
i know its wrong...
it breaks my heart to million pieces as it does to you, but i was just being rational..just being logical to the future and realistic....i am not trying to make things right...not to me and definitely not to you...
things occurred and something dawns to my mind, is there any place for you and me at all?
much that i love you, i know, we both hasn't got the chance just yet...not in this time...
so i leave...to do you justice...to do myself justice..our heart breaks, but broken heart can be mend, later if not sooner, though i know now how wrong that is...but you can find another love, one who can give you a clearer picture of your future, one who gives you less tears and sadness...i can't do that...
and you leave....
we both felt the same way for each other...but we moved on eventually..i thought i do, but i guess i am wrong again...

months has passed by, i tried to forget you...i am still trying to stop seeing you in other people's faces, try to stop seeing the signs of your presence in wherever you have been..try to stop making connections between things around me and you....
i thought i succeeded
i did...but i became an insomniac...

i walked and i saw you walking towards me...
i thought i saw you...
those shady, black beautiful pair of eyes that shows deep concern and love..you know how much i loved your eyes..i can live seeing only your eyes...
the smile that glows my heart...
the shape of your face, the hair cut, the body build, the talking style, the gait...
it was so like you...
''you'' talked to me but i was so astounded and amazed that i just stared at ''you'' without answering ''you'' until ''you'' asked me again...even the voice is so just like you..
my heart was pounding, my body semi-paralyzed, my breath become shallow, eye blurry, headache...dizzy, nearly passed out...but i controlled my mind...
mind over power...
oh i really hope i could just stay there and watch at ''you'' without worrying but i can't..
then i thought, are you there because of me?
but then i realized, it can't be...you are so far away, a thousand km far from here...

i turned around again to look at ''you''..but ''you'' are gone talking to other people...
so i leave ''you'' there...
''you'' looked at me as ''you'' passed by...as if ''you'' know me...
but it can't be...because i know ''you'' are not the person i miss...
''you'' are just my hallucination who appears like the you i miss...

-kenangan paling tak boleh dilupakan dari NP1, HKL-

8 comments:

zara said...

hoi ko ni.. masuk psych ward jela

beyl said...

abeh yang selame neh aku tak masuk ke?? da masuk la dok jadik cani neh...huhu

A-Sha Pinkiex said...

Uuu, you sure have a very complicated life dear :)

When did you get married actually? I dulu time 1st2 add you kt fb, i'd to do some stalking to find out yg u da kawin actually, hehe :)

P/s: when can i expect to see a baby from u? :P anytime soon? hehe :D

Amal.

beyl said...

yerp...i do have a complicated life, honey...expecting too much and then nothing's up to my expectation...erm3...actually married valentine 2009..so da dekat setahun...huhu...baby? kene tggu abeh skolah dlu le...so kene sabar lagi 18 month ke...hahahahahha...too many people asking already..arghhh!!!

faRhaNA sHaFIe said...

cik nab..tukar name blog dah..? psycho ko ek sejak masuk psychiatric nih

beyl said...

ye kak paa...bosan plak gune name sendirik jadik name blog...hahahahaha...taw tape!! makin lame tgk dorang makin tak btol lak saye...tade, ade sorang patient tuh muke die sebijik macam ex-bf sy..tuh yg ralat jap tuh

Anonymous said...

hye..i m a blogwalker..
be brave my dear...
true love never can be broken..
stay still..
live ur life well..
try to hv some red pillow with u..
it works for me..

best wishes for u

from 051008

beyl said...

thank you..red pillows means a million to me..

HIT2 me...