pEnUnGgU pUaKa wAyAnG~

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

how to survive in psychiatry: student to student guide

i have 10 ways which i have creatively created based on my 2 weeks psychiatric posting experience (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA):
  1. go to the wards and sit alone..they will definitely come to you and try to engage YOU into an interview...in another way, you are the patient now...and them, the doctor...therefore, for that very moment you are off your responsibilities as a medical student...easy, no?
  2. don't ask too much...you'll get a freaking headache yet you still don't understand anything at all...so what's the trouble?
  3. sit back and listen..allow the patient to gabble whatever they want and then later on you can create the story, make it more dramatic and cool and make your own mind on what happens to the patient....who do you think your colleagues gonna believe? you or the patient? hahahhahaha
  4. tell everyone that you are married regardless of your real marital status...aka, become a bit deluded (for them lar) so that those creepy guys won't approach you asking you to marry them and cried profusely when you refuse to do so...
  5. NEVER ever wear green clothes...not because it looks like their attire, but because they might think that you are rich if you wore that color and thus will ask you for money...(i am already phobic to green...huh)
  6. be able to read their body language as well as your partner....you might not realize that its not the patient's body language that is dangerous but your partner's....it may induce sudden psychotic attack...hohoho..sile buat konklusi sendiri
  7. learn their language: if they speak in an incoherent and/or irrelevant language, do act like you understand them and talk irrelevantly too....who knows both of you might reach a point where you will understand one another...apekah?
  8. never allow your patient's cloudy thoughts and blunted affect affects you....if you think you are becoming zombified like them, well, try playing puzzles with them (teka-teki). it will be funny listening to their ideas...if they don't laugh, at least you will...
  9. never walk close to the walls so that there will be no chance for the scary male patients to attack you and you couldn't runaway...huk9...SCARYNYEEEEE...TAKOOOTTTTT
  10. be one of them....i mean, really become one of them..maybe use some drugs and become psychotic so it'll make you easier to understand all the phenomenology in psychiatry such as hallucination and delusion and what not...owh after that you can also explain the extrapyramidal side effect of anti-psychotic drugs...and also, its easier for you to build rapport with other patients cez now you are already combing each other's hair...

p/s: yeah this is sooo not entirely true...i am doing this when my mind has been grossly injured by meddling with this psychiatric things...

25 comments:

roi said...

no 5 tu patutnye never ever wear green clothes and green tudung, atau pape yang match, haha~

hoit ini yang ko buat petang tadi ye, haha klaka2~

haridan said...

ekekeke lwak giler okay pkai baju hijau..
pat beli teh ais!!

beyl said...

roi: yerp..sewaktu kite tengah sepetang di RC....hahahaha..tade idea punye keje la neh

nad: sile belajar dari pengalaman...ari neh pakai baju kurung coklat tp tudung cream..muhahahaha

Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter.

beyl said...

@anonymous: its just based on my experiences...yerp, i used to post my entries on twitter but lately i haven't done so..you can also follow me on facebook k...add me~

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