pEnUnGgU pUaKa wAyAnG~

Sunday, June 12, 2011

done

done with school n now i am thinking how and when to start...
i dun want to regret my decision and i dun want to rush in making one...
i have fought a long way to be here and somehow indulging myself into another responsibilities in a very short period of time doesn't feel worth it..
all i want is to be doing something i am ready to do and do it whole-heartedly..
i love medicine..but to be doing it with full commitment needs a lot of courage..
finding courage to do something that is WAY different from studying needs some time..
i mean, i went to hospital like everyday of the weekdays, now, i need to go even in the weekends and public holidays..
i went to hospital at my own leisure time, go home at my own leisure time...but now, that's already my past and i will be going there day and night, no choice, period!
God, that's really scary and it really, really spoils my happiness of passing the exams..
right now, i feel so depressingly unhappy, that even my dad feels weird about it...i should be running around the house like a maniac, happy but i am definitely not...yesterday, my aunts and uncles were here and all i did was scream angrily at my little cousins or just give them the scary angry looks and they'll stop whining about..that's how bad i am..
so i suppose, taking a break might do me good...
my mum said, i am married..for me, to work is just for my own satisfaction....i only need to help faiz to raise our family if he doesn't have the means for it but he's a doctor too...and i am only one of her daughter and she has got many children as well to be helping her apart from me, therefore its not a one girl's show..so the burden of working to supply other people is not there for me, except helping the poor la...i am lucky~
so its never about the money, but its about the satisfaction and dedication to it...
i asked my lecturers for advice, and my conclusion is, there's nothing for me to regret if i start a bit later except maybe i get a bit dusty...

so i really, really hope i am doing myself justice now and later on because if i don't nobody will...

2 comments:

nadenthes xotricossa said...

ke kak nabil nak sambong master? boleh jadi lec ajar bakal doc pulak..hehe

beyl said...

memang nak sambung masters pon tapi nak kene habeskan housemanship dlu baru byk pilihan n best sket kalo nak jadik lecturer..itu akak punye plan long term lah..hehe

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