day in and day out, i always wonder when i will be even more wiser?
each day i fought to forget all the painful memories but still the heartache remains...
its confusing...
therefore i abandoned the effort of forgetting the memories
so i fought again for other kind of answers, for medicine to heal this pain
and to remain inside my own head...
yet nothing seems to work...
nevertheless i searched still, wondering if whatever i am doing right now, the present life that i am trying to fulfill is actually the correct path at all..i turn to people i trust most, but i realize that none of their words are convincing...the strongest one seems to be accusing me for being utterly stupid for trying to love something else when the heart remains elsewhere...
thus, its heart versus mind...and i am caught in between...
still the pain remains etched somewhere in this bodily casing~
so, i went back to square one, again and again and again...forcing myself to again forget the painfully beautiful memories..and i realize that this obsession has been a continuing cycle for what seems like forever..
only now i understood a little bit more, its not the memory of whatever things we've done together that makes this heartache permanent, but the emotions, the feelings we've both shared that bonds us in this everlasting yearning and misery...
though the time given was limited for you and me, but it was meaningful emotionally~
we are not obsessed by the memories of us, but we are obsessed with the emotions we put each other into...at least i am...
then how in the world are we going to be able to forget emotions? to give it up? to at least get rid of it?
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