pEnUnGgU pUaKa wAyAnG~

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

ulu chepor anyone?


last sunday (230510) we ran out of water at home...as in, the water has been blocked or watever happens to the water supply that we didnt get the supply of water, so we have no water except the tank water which is limited and we were scared that we might not have water till the next morning so we were all forbidden to bath at home in case the tank water dried out and my dad cannot bath the next morning so he had to go to the office unbathed, thus we were forced to go this amazing place somewhere here in ipoh called ulu chepor which consist of jungles and river...during my school days, it was known to be a haunted place, but i dunno as i am going during the day so maybe the type of ghosts during this time are much more different and eh...real...huhuhu...i guess u know what i mean...
but apart from that, it is a really beautiful place with small2 huts for you to sit or sleep if u r lucky to get any or otherwise u just have to bring along a mat...the river is 'decorated' in such a way that each 'compartment' is like a pool so u can swim safely and yet lie at the rocks where the water is moving fast down the river and the water hits ur body so it feels like being massaged...oh the bliss...and the water is icy cold...i froze when i first step into the water but later on, the body adapts and it takes away all the dirt in my body and the refreshing feelings starts to seep into me and i feel like being apart of the rocks in the water..sadly...hehehe...
i stayed in the freezing cold water for like an hour without moving out...
there are also really nice places for u to change..which is usually hard to find when it comes to rivers such as here...
food stalls are also there...
from what i observe, this place has a company that manages any activities that anyone wants to held here like team building. motivations bla3...they have all the facilities which is almost all open air..
we stayed there for almost 4 hours...to pass our times with sleeping on the hut...ohhhhh sangat best!! only to find out that the water problem at home has settled long ago then only we went back home...


i guess, there is hikmah behind the all this~!

happy birthday to me!

25th may 2010 and i am year old...

hahaha...
am getting older without realizing it...
nothing much just a reminder that when one year of living has already gone, it means that i am getting a year near to my own death...so scary...much that i am happy that i managed to live another year, it reminds me of what i have done or achieved as a preparation for the next life...which is almost nothing, or maybe something that is just never not enough...

this year's birthday is a bliss as i am with my family...exactly on my birthday...its been a long time since i managed to count the minutes and seconds to my birthday with my own family like last night (sadly without my husband)...listening to my mum singing the birthday song merrily before she went to sleep and my little 4 year old sister arguing why today is my birthday and not hers...and why i am making my own birthday cake and its not for her birthday..she's really annoyed with that idea for some reason...hehehe...i dunno when is the next birthday that i'll be able to spend it with my family like this again...nothing complicated, just being able to be with them is the best birthday i have...no celebration (or maybe not yet...) but its an undescribable nice feeling....

mum gives me two presents, one a really beautiful baju kurung and another one is a girl's secret...hahahhaha
daddy gave me rm600 as a present so i can give it to the college for my next year's fee...hahahah...too bad its not purely mine...
nothing more than well wishes apart from the above, but its fine...prayers are the best present as it is a Muslim's shield to the challenges to be faced in the future...

thank u all for being my supporters since i first breathe the air of the world...there is nothing i can offer to repay your kindness but another prayer and du'a for us...and that may Allah keep us all within His everlasting blessings....

my birthday cake that i made myself...hahahaha...sadis2..tp sangat yummyy!!!! 


Monday, May 24, 2010

serabut....

biase r..cuti konon2 nak study r kan...nak prepare for final year...memang final year itu sahaje telah mendatangkan pressure melampau tp nampaknye tak ckup melampau ntk aku membuke buku dan mengsustainkan konsentrasi kat muke2 surat buku uh....terase kordial sarsaparilla lebey konsentrated dari aku...hishhhh...cam nga berfikir2...ah..lantakkan ajela 5th year tuh tapi ayat itu namenye ayat memakan diri sendirik..cukup2 ar aku cuti neh telah berperangai sperti manusia yang lupe penat2 lelah mengurangkan 5 kg dari berat badanku...nak bgn joging pepagi konon...sudahla itu hanya impian yg takkan sampai kemane2 hatta pagar depan umah aku pon..bajet takot anjeng konon padahal anjeng tuh lg takot kat aku kot...takot? berbalik kepade topik asal aku....nak study ke tak..pk2 kalo study pon aku lupe pasal awal sangat study neh..kalo takmo study maknenye inilah keje aku, maen depan laptop sambil curik line tenet org laen dan merenung cicak disiling ataupon meringkuk depan kuceng yang kene ikat kat tayar pasal takmo die lari2 jao n kapel ngan kuceng lain lalu meninggalkan aku sendirian disini tanpa binatang peliharaan lagi...tolong r ko jangan pregnant wahai kuceng...huk..kalo nak study pon tade drive itu...drive keta boleh r tapi tuh pon tade semangat pasal aku tataw mane nak pegi selain tesco kat depan umah tuh yang bosan nak mapos, aku just bole nak carik ikan same sayur tp tataw ape nak masak pasal mak aku da masak....tettibe rase nak bwat kek ke tiramisu ke ape ke tapi tade duet lagi..tggu r sok kot2 dapat adiah tetibe ke..yg pasti sok aku bole call org FOC ntk seharian sebagai hadiah dari maxis...hmmm...tuh jela adiah yang pasti...pk2...eh, aku nak call sape neh????? haih....kalo tak study plak, make konfem akan terbunuhla aku bile da stat posting nnt ngan otak berkarat n tak ingat pape...even adek aku pon kenal sape yang nga nyanyi kat dalam tv tuh tp aku tataw sape kah die...hahaha..begitulah berkaratnye kepale otak aku skrg neh...takkan r pro exam da menari2 dekat ujung jalan sane baru kelam kabut nak study tp masalahnye tuhla tebiat aku yang plg aku suke pasal time tuhla aku rase bergune sikit diri ini....hehehe...bongoks tol r...sape la ajar aku jadik pemalas neh????

weyh hantu....tolong ar kejar aku sebelum prof R mengejar aku

oh..adek aku nak tgk chipmunk..dari tadi dok jerit2 kat aku..haih...make bersambungla aku tgk siling...arghhhh...chow~

Saturday, May 15, 2010

hari belia...

pegi hari belia yang macam karnival yang sangat besarnye sampai tak larat nak jalan...dekat 3 jam gak r dalam tuh kan...macam2 ade...meh aku atur so korg boleh pk2 nak g ke tak sok neh..sok last...maap tade gambar jugak...kalo ade kamera tym tuh pon aku tataw ape nak amek gambar....so here goes:

  1. ade helikopter!!! satu ride rm150...pusing2 keliling putrajaya...aku tataw r plak kan bape lame..nak naek tp tade duet...huk...
  2. konsert jom heboh...i mean, time aku datang aku jes nampak stage die la kan...adela org nyanyi tp nampaknye aku neh buta sket ngan artis mesia yang bebaru neh...hurmm...
  3. ade ustad izzi haji ali....hehehehe...comel orgnye...dengar die cakap2 sikit tapi tak tunggu lame sebab ingatkan nak hujan so jalan laju2 je...jes nak taw ape ade dalam tuh
  4. aku tgk org bertomoi...pergh...skali tgk macam ade gak gaye memuje die punye court tuh..cam menyembah spirit ke ape...tp bile die berlawan tuh aku rase nak cabut lari plak...apesal la org dengan sukerela nye membenarkan badan die diterajang2? i mean, kalo bole kite sume nak menjauhi bende2 yang menyakitkan neh kan?
  5. jumpe erra fazira cez die bukak kedai kat situ...hehehe...cantik gak die uh...tp aku neh tak minat plak nak amek2 gmbr ngn die...sekadar pandang sambil lalu jela...
  6. amek gmbr ngan ular albino...memule die nak bg ular sawa yang bole makan kambing n BESARRR PUNYYEEE...tapi aku plak kan tak sanggup nak tgk ular tuh merayap kat badan aku neh..kang patah pinggang cane??? ngan albino pon jadikla kan...pas da amek gmbr ngan ular tuh n nak pulangkan kat tuan die, bole plak die lilit tangan aku takmo lepas...ergh...geli lagi scary...hehehe...
  7. pastuh ade plak sorang pakcik jab.pertahanan awam tuh stop aku...aku pelik...apehal panggil aku lak kan..die kate nak mintak tolong aku...die tarik aku g kat van JPA tuh...katenye nak aku pasangkan zip org...melopong aku...apehal saye nak pasang zip org plak cik???? die kate dah awk pompuan...pastu aku terpikir apesal plak aku yang pempuan kene pakaikan zip org?? kenape bukan org laki? punyela aku yakin yang org tuh laki...pastuh aku cam, hah...zip ape ni cik??? die kate, takk ade budak pempuan dalam neh..zip nye terbuke..tolong pakaikan...oohhh...oke...paham...hahahahaha bangang tak aku...aku pon masuk r dalam van tuh nampak budak tuh da terlangkup cam org pengsan...pastuh bile dikejut2 rupenye tak pengsan...die pusing, terus aku pasangkan zip die and tak sedar rupenye aku da kene kurung dalam van tuh...hahahaha...bile da kene kurung tuh aku cam pening plak..cane nak kuar neh?? yang budak tuh dok bising2 saket pale...aku lak jenuh soh die tido balek tp die pening jugak n buat aku pening jugak...last2 aku tarik die soh baring smule...ha...bagus...terus aku kua...pandai pon bukak pintu van tuh..kekeke..tanye pakcik tuh rupenye budak tuh kene kancing gigi..hurmm..siannn die..alhamdulillah aku g tuh dapat jugak aku tolong die sikit...so korg sume kalo rase nak saket jangan segan2....ade byk org nak tolong korg k
  8. selain dari bende diatas, adela banyak gile punye kedai2.....makan ke baju ke binatang freaky ke tudung ke cadar2 ke teddy bear ke mainan ke handphone pon byk...
hmmm...tuh jela kot..selamat hari belia kepade sume belia2 kat mesia neh....penat gile jalan...
aku nak tido...
huk..bye

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

BE PATIENT!!



each time i had exams, here i am rambling like an old idiot and frantically searching for words of wisdom...


and sure enough, i found one, also from one of my favorite blog...and i think many of us knows her, puan dalilah...who used to give us lectures on cancer survival...and i really thank her for the story...a beautiful story of a lady selling tempe...

In Karangayu, a small village in Kendal, Central Java, there lived a woman selling tempeh. Incompetent to do other job, she made tempeh and sold it at a wet market. Nevertheless, she never complained about the little earning that she got. She lived her life happily always in gratitude with the blessing she got in her life. "If this tempeh can take me to heaven, why should I regret it. ..” there she consoled herself with a great appreciation to her life.

One fine morning, after the Dawn Prayer, she started packing to sell her tempeh. She took a bamboo basket and started filling it with her tempeh that she had wrapped on a long kitchen table. She picked one and opened it. Much to her surprise, her tempeh was not fermented yet in tempeh form. It was still in the form of soya beans, some loose, yet united ties from the fermentation of the yeast to look like a soft white cotton.

The wrapped soya beans still had to wait one more day to be a tempeh. Her body felt weak as she needed the money for her daily spending. she could only imagine, this day she's definitely not going to get money, to eat, and to buy soybeans, and she became so devastated.

In the midst of desperation, hope dawned in her chest. She knew that, if she asked God, surely nothing will be impossible. So, tilting her head up, she raised her hand, she read a prayer. "O Allah, You know my troubles. I know you would love thy humble servant of this. Help me O God, make this soybean to be tempeh. Only to you I leave my fate ... ". In her heart, she believed, God would grant her prayer.

Calmly, she pressed and compressed the wrapper leaf of those tempehs. She still could feel the warmth that ran through the leaves. The fermentation process was still ongoing. Her chest rumbled and nervousness ran through her spine. And slowly, she opened the wrapper leaf of the tempeh. And ... she was disappointed. It was still some loose soybeans and not a tempeh. Forcing a smile, she stood up. She was sure that God was still "processing" her prayer. Her tempeh would be fermented in no time, she became optimistic with it.

She believed, God would not torment the faithful servant like her. Putting all the wrapped soybeans and some half made tempeh into the basket, she prayed again. "Oh God, Nothing is impossible to you. You are the Almighty, that there was nothing I could do other than selling tempeh. Therefore, O God, please grant my prayer ... "

Before locking the door and walked toward the market, she unwrapped another tempeh. It must have been so now, she thought. With a pounding heart, she peered and ... not so. The soybeans were not fully white. There was no change in any of these soybeans fermentation. "Wonders of God will come ... for sure," she cajoled herself confidently.

So she walked to market. Throughout the trip, she believed, "the hand" of God is working to finalize the process of fermentation of her many tempehs in her bamboo basket. Again and again she prayed ... assuring herself, God would grant her prayer.

Reaching the market, she stopped at a corner where she used to sell and she put the basket down. "It must have been now that my tempeh is ready!" she thought. With trembling hands, she opened the wrapper leaf of that tempeh, slowly. And.. she jumped!The tempeh was still not changed. Still the same as when she first opened in the kitchen.

Disappointed, tears started to stream her wrinkled cheeks. "Why are my prayers not answered? Why the Tempe is not so? Why is God so unfair? Does He want me to suffer? What have I done?" Thus her inner raged.

With a limp, she placed the half-fermented tempeh on top of a plastic that has been provided. Her hands moved slowly almost lifeless, she had no conviction that people would buy her 'tempeh'. And suddenly she felt hungry and felt so alone. God had forsaken her, she thought.

More tears dripped. She could not imagine selling tomorrow ... tomorrow she would not be able to eat. She saw the market bustle, people passing, and "friends" among sellers at the right side of her Tempeh who began packing his wares as they finished selling theirs. She nodded at them as they bid goodbye and left. Her grief began to peak. She tried to remember if she had experienced this event. She looked down and thought her Tempeh was never in this condition - unfinished, not done. Her sobs increased and became loud weeps. She felt this test was a heavy tribulation for her... ...

In the midst of her sadness, a pat o9n her shoulder stopped her sobs.She turned to her side and saw a beautiful woman in her midlife smiling and looking at her. "Sorry Madam, do you sell half-finished tempeh? I'm tired from early morning looking around this market for half-finished tempeh, and I cannot find one. Do you have Madam? "

The tempeh seller tempeh was dumbfounded. Unnerved. Suddenly, her face turned pale. Without answering the question of the beautiful woman, she quickly lifted her hands. "Oh God, now I do not want it to be Tempe. Please Do not grant my earlier prayer. Leave it alone tempe as before to be half-made, Do not make tempe ... ". Then she immediately took her tempeh. But, doubting it, she put it down again. “I am scared it has become tempeh ..."

"So how Madam? Do you sell those tempeh I want?", asked the woman again. Panic swept over her again. "Dear Lord, how is this? Please God, do not make tempeh huh?" she said repeatedly. And with a trembling hand, she slowly opened the wrapper leaf of that tempeh. In the warm leaf, she still saw tempe which was half-made. "Alhamdulillah!" She cried, involuntarily. She immediately asked the woman how many she wanted and put all she had into a plastic bag and handed it over to the woman feeling so happy.

She asked the woman why she was looking for a half-made tempeh and the beautiful woman answered:"Oohh, it's my son who is studying oversea wants to eat tempeh so I need to buy the hald-made tempeh so that when the tempeh reaches my son, it will be just nice and not spoiled already. So when I send tomorrow, the tempeh is still palatable." The woman paid the seller and left. The seller was relieved that her prayers were granted. She packed and repeatedly thanking God.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

if i had my child to raise over again



if i had my child to raise over again:
i'd build self esteem first and the house later,
i'd finger paint more, and point finger less,
i would do less correcting and more connecting,
i'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes,
i would care to know less and know to care more,
i'd take more hikes and play more kites,
i'd stop playing serious and seriously play,
i would run through more fields and gaze at more stars

(adapted from Chicken soup for the soul, by Diane Lemons)

saye rindu mak saye!!!!!!!
nak call die skrg neh tapi fon tade kdt, nak kua takley sebab da kene kunci dalam umah sebab org bawak kunci tuh tataw pegi mane sampai lupe diri tak balek2 neh...so takley nak pau hp die skrg...arghhh

i am the 1st child in my family...naturally, being the first will be the one with the highest expectation from the parent.. to be the ones whose parent will decide what career they will take up when they grow up...i am just the same...what i want to become now is not what i dream of...in reality, i hated them when they in a way forced me to become what they want me to become, a doctor....because they wanted to become doctors, but couldnt...so i am the hope...how i was angry with their thoughts...
nevertheless, with all the grudge i studied under their watchful and killing gaze, with their screaming, swearing voices whenever i answered wrongly, with their pinches and punches painfully hitting parts of my body when my focus strays...i was only in primary school that time and i already think i have conversion disorder..i used to act dumb, not wanting to talk to them anymore, being paralyzed on purpose...i never cried though their remarks hurts my child's feeling...engko neh bodoh sgt la, ape bangang sgt kamu neh? dahla, bengap macam ko takyah jadik pape pon...i'm only a child, what do i understand with such things? i felt helpless...and at that time, what i want was just to get out of the house and study elsewhere...that's the external force that makes me turn deaf ears to them and studied till i get 4A's for UPSR which is for them, not satisfactory....nevertheless, i make it into a boarding school...and life changes...

i miss them...at that time i dunno why i should when i hated them at that time..being rebellious and wanting to leave house, that, i have achieved...i should be proud of myself..but now, no more mum's cooking, washing my clothes....bla3...though with full grudges, i understood the meaning of having a family...something i don't quite decipher when i was in primary school...but that was all....

till at one point of time, my mum started writing me letters which takes me with surprises..the letters were full of yearning and encouragements...letters that only now i understood why she wrote it...she was trying to make up the lost years when she is more fond of and aggressively corrects me and failed to connect with me, when she only played serious with me and never seriously play with me...all those years lost that can never be recovered again...i'm no more at home, and possibly will never be home long enough for her to start understanding me or vice versa...the letter was to apologize to me for being her in a way....i smiled yet cried each time i read her letters, but never once i replied it...that time, i thought, now only she appreciates my existence, when i already left..i think i am wrong...

because of the way i was brought up, i think i have some attitude problems...always creating problems since in secondary school till now.....its not simple problems, i can confirm u...but really serious ones that could have cost my future...at one point of time, i felt happy because of the created problems, because to me its my revenge to my parents...how bad i was right? my dad keeps on saying that i am unworthy kid that i just like to disgrace them for fun...but my mum goes the other way round..she believes its their fault that i became what i am...that she know i have some emotional conflict with them, thus i did what i did...but despite that, she keeps on having faith in me...giving words of wisdom that always discourage me to do more stupid things..hugs me and kissed me more, crying with me...trying to give me whatever i need that she think might give me some happiness..advising me...she chose not to leave me alone when she know i have put her down and when she knows that i will regret what i have done...she tried to love anything that i love...i am an adult now...i am broken once, but she completes me....

because of her, i became what i am now....
what she did to me when i was little might have hurt me, but at least now nothing and no one can hurt me by just swearing at me or hitting me...i become harden....something others don't understand why i never share my feelings with others...why a girl can suppress a depression alone...why a girl can cry alone in the middle of the crowd with no one realizing...because of that, i thank my mum for making me tougher than many girls...
because of her too, i still strive for the best to become a doctor...i might not need to score too much now cez nobody will be screaming at me anymore, and if they did, i know how to do nothing about it...i understood that because maybe she saw some potential in me, some braveness in my little soul, she believes that i can become a doctor, though i don't know anything about my own potential..because of her faith and trust, here i am now....
because of her, i stayed with someone i hate once....she convinced me that nothing matters but to become happy in whatever i have and never to be ungrateful...she knows i will also love whatever she love...so in front of me, she shows forgiveness and love hug and kisses to him eventhough he used to hurt her deeply....in the hope that i could do the same, not for her own sake but for my own...for my own well being in the world and hereafter...
because of her, i learn to be careful with my money and career later on....she shows me how a woman can be disgraced by her husband because of money and career...i will never let that happen to me...and i promise you mama, once i become what i have to become, my career and money is dedicated to you...
she also taught me on what it takes to be a respectable and loveable wife and mother....how she dutifully serve her husband though he sometimes mistreated her....and how she always spend time and be there for us when we are around...how i miss those times when we, the 5 children and mama crowds on my bed and talk, laughing about, but when dad came, everyone disappear...poor dad...but i know why that happens..

dear mama, i really love you...words can never describe what's in my heart right now...
all i want to do right now is to hug u and kiss u..and never let you go...i know you like that~
for me, everyday is mother's day, because mama, u never escape my heart and mind at all....

Friday, May 7, 2010

bile nak ade baby ek?

like any other married couples...what i dearly want now is a baby of my own, to love and cuddle and to nurture into becoming a whole person that can benefit the ummah...
but yet, my desire is clashing...much that i wanted a baby like right now, i want to finish this study real fast too..i don't want to have to extend, taking short courses just because i am having a baby...i am not sure or ready if i can take the extra years when everyone has graduated...its like compromising my future though i know, on time or later, my future is one that is to become a doctor. that, i can confirm..inshaallah...its just making it later that makes me a bit shaking in getting a baby...

if i think it thru, unlike for some other people not taking the profession as mine, getting a baby after graduating will be very much ideal...but for me, getting a baby in the 1st 2 year of my working period will be the worse thing i could do to my child....i won't be at home much and i am definitely sure that the child is not going to be taken care of by me...i won't see the child playing, learning to talk, babbling, laughing baby laugh, starting to walk and fall, crying..i won't be there to catch the beautiful moments and be there with the child when the emotional part is growing when the bonding strengthen...2 years only if i am lucky...what if shit happens and for all i know, i am stucked with housemanship which is super busy for 3 years...or more?
but again thinking about that, i can't definitely afford to be pregnant during houseman...that will kill me because like i said earlier, its super busy and i will be like an overworked, overloaded robot...i am pretty sure that the baby will be experiencing a harsh life when not even born yet..what with the mother didn't get enough calorie and nutrition...not to mention myself being pregnant at that time..anaemia will come up of course....and i definitely don't want to extend my housemanship because i have to give birth...if i have to extend the problems i have mentioned earlier will surface...and i don't want to be called HO tua...or MO tua...and i definitely want to start my masters as fast as i can

arghhhh the dilemma is killing me

i do give a thought of having one like now, before i graduated....its by far the most relaxed and easier part of my life..no big responsibilities...no on-calls, no overworking...not overtly tired, enough sleeps, can go shopping and having fun still and lots more as a student...i could have given my child all the love and attention he/she could've get as compared to later on...but the limitation right now is money and study times...and yes not to forget the late graduation if the labor is not planned accordingly and just like HOW can i do that??
sigh~~

 going back to basics...am i ready anyway to carry another huge responsiblity of bringing another life into the world and guide it into not becoming the useless humans that is already littering the world now...?? i don't want my child to end up into something worthless..what will i answer God then? in such a young age, can i do that? i know that i work with people, having to understand humans' psychologically and emotionally day by day, something many people of my age cannot decipher...but apart of that and most importantly, can i actually teach the child to become someone who is religiously minded? someone that i can hope for prayers when i finally leave the world?

that part i can learn...books, experiences from mothers...many girls get married early and gets children at young age and managed to bring up excellent children despite that...

ermm...not to forget the pain of pregnancy and labor which haunts me since i did my obstetric posting last year..huk

hurm...having wrote all of these, i am pretty sure that he's gonna kill me if i said i am never gonna have a baby in another 10 years...(and in the same time i want 6 children)...hahahahaha

so the dilemma now is weather to start a family before graduating i.e before starting the super crazy and busy houseman or after finishing housemanship in which time hopefully i am not yet 30...pregnant DURING houseman is TOTALLY OUT OF THE CHOICE...huh...

camne?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

easy no stress~ENT~otorhinolaryngology

(post ini ntk org2 yang dilahirkan lengkap dengan tinge dan boleh mendengar sepenuhnye shajae!)

hari ni gigih gile berusehe study ntk esok punye clinical exam sampaikan 2 post bole buat dalam satu malam (which is saying something..hehehe)

makin banyak bace makin rase kagum....
ear, something so small dikurniakan ntk kite tapi kite sangat suke nak salah gune....
aku bukan nak cakap pasal dengar bende2 yang mengundang dose tuh...yang tuh cam pepandai korg la pikir kan....
tapi aku nak cakap sal salah gune lain, iaitulah menyumbat earphone ke tinge....huhu

allah cipte tinge kite sgt2 unik....each and everyone of the byk gile structure yang ade dalam tuh ade fungsi die in one way or another...kadang2 tgk bende2 dalam tinge aku rase rimas sgt...yerla die kecik2 (dalam mm punye size tapi takde sampai 10 mm pon) tapi impact die mak aihhh punyelaa besar kan...satu tade memang hilang nikmat pendengaran kite....bile hilang nikmat pendengaran, kite akan terasing dari masyarakat, nak kerje tak bole, org nak communicate dengan kite takley...kalo org hon kite tak dengar...org jerit gtaw umah terbakar kite tak dengar...org soh kite lari pasal ade org nak penggal pale kite kat blakang kite pon tak dengar....bla3

it is given to us tanpa kite mintak kan?
lahir lengkap dengan tinge due2 belah supaye boleh menikmati sume bende yang bole didengar kat dunia yang indah tapi kotor neh...
pastuh kite dengan bestnye sumbat dengan bende alah earfon tuh so bole la nak jahanamkan bende2 kat dalam tinge uh...
bayangkan, volume yang tinge kite bole dapat dengan menggunekan earfon tuh ialah 110dB which is sekuat bunyi kapal terbang jet tanpe kite sedari...at least jet tuh dekat udare yang cam besar gile, tapi earfon tuh bg 110dB hanya pada tinge kite and tinge kite sahaje...pastuh tak penah plak kite pakai bende tuh ntk satu lagu 5 minit kan? salunye pakai berjam2 nak abehkan satu playlist tuh...
macam mane agaknye tinge kite nak boleh tahan dengan bunyi sekuat dan selame tuh??
bergegar2 tinge tak berenti, so macam mane gegendang tinge kite tuh tak terbocor?
pastuh jadik pekak....hurmm~

tapi allah maha kuase, die taw yang kite nak sgt rosakkan tinge kite uh, pastuh die cipte laa kat area2 tinge tuh ade tengkorak, so boleh r kite gune tengkorak tuh ntk pasang2 hearing aid dan tengkorak tuh bertindak macam saluran pendengaran dengan menerima sound vibration, so boleh bypass saluran pendengaran yang kat luar terus sampai ke nerve yg kat dalam2 tinge tuh (inner ear)...dasat kan?

tapi tetap kuasa manusia neh sgtla limited...tade bende2 yang nak ganti pendengaran kite neh selengkap yang allah da kurniakan kat kite neh...either hearing aid tuh besar gile and sangat huduh da macam ade radio melekat kat tinge or sgt mekanikal so cepat rosak or bile org pekak pakai kat tempat yg macam pasar die jadik macam bunyik tv rosak...tade satu pon hearing aid neh bole menepati sume ciri2 pendengaran asal...kalo cantik, tapi jadik bunyi cam tv rosak plak...bile die tak jadik cam tv rosak tapi besar plak...kalo due2 ade, tapi mahal gile punye (rm80 000) and then kene bedah lagi yang tak masuk dalam rm80 000 tuh..and operation is not without risk....bygkan kalo kite just ade asthma, pastuh kne masuk operation sebab nak taruk hearing aid tetibe terus kene hantar masuk ICU sebab mase op kene asthma....bertarung nyawa beb..

memangla kekadang kite neh tak dapat nak elak masalah pencemaran bunyi neh...kite keje kat tpt2 yang gune byk sgt bunyik, jadik cube gunekan bende2 keselamatan macam muffler tuh...jgn amek remeh bende2 macam ni sebab kesan die sangat tak best...yelah, bayangkan, dari boleh dengar tapi disebabkan satu kesilapan kite mengabaikan bende muffler tuh terus takley dengar pape plak...takley dengar tape jugak, tapi ni kalo jadik bunyik berdesing tuh lagilaaaa tak best...berdengung je hari2 tinge boleh jadik sewel gak...

dan kepade yang lain2 tuh jagela pendengaran kite neh elok2....syukuri nikmat tuhan tuh...bende yang kite boleh elak, kite cubelaa elak2an...takyah r nyusahkan diri sndik...banyak lagi bende yang nak dibuat kat dunie neh dari spend mase duet dan tenage pegi follow up kat klinik je saban bulan~

menyampah tahap !!

kalo ko byk sangat duet, ape kate ko pegi bawak org tak berkemampuan naik haji ke...bagi org treatment free ke...sponsor budak2 sambung blajar ke...sumbangkan kat budak2 yatim ke...pegi tolong org2 islam yang nga berperang tuh ke...or at least, tolong r hire sorg fashion consultant soh tukar image ko yg macam taik tuh...kalo tak menambah pahale pon at least tadela aku rimas sangat nak tgk ko kan

ni tak...yang dibuatnye bende2 nak soh org dok berhimpit2 terkinja2 memuja artis...ko taw tak, bole dosa dorg tuh ko yang tanggung kot...saje je pepenat ko dapat degree ke masters ke ape ke nak selamatkan ummah ke manusia punye nyawa tapi ko bazirkan plak...baek ko bg aku sikit pahala ko uh kan...huk

or tak pon rentilakan laa tayang muke ko hari2 kat paper uh...nak muntah aku da nehh!!! disebabkan ko r make aku doa semoge hari2 berlalu dengan pantas so that cepat sikit paper uh get rid of ur face kan...

movie ko uh? fine, gegarla panggung celah2 mane jnj ko nak sedarkan org ramaikan?? adiwirakah ko? ape ko duduk dalam gua ke selame neh weyh? ade org pedulik ke ngan moral of the story??? dari ko soh org2 tak bermoral sgt n tade pegangan agame sgt cube nak tegakkan syariah baek ko cube soh org2 yg lebey tau kan? kalo bukak skolah moral pon bagus la jugak kot..

hish sesia je aku mengutuk org mase2 neh kan...
tapi nak buat macam mane...org tgk die baik ke ape ke tp sebenarnye die neh jes nak berbisnes tp lupe tanggungjawab sosial die...malaysia neh belum cukup org2 macam die pon...especially for those yang tak mampu...well, he's got an excellent pangkat or gelaran so sume org pon akan dengar cakap die...
mungkin die tak tipu...tapi cume some part of things aku rase tak bape nak appropriate...
bukan senang nak jadik macam die...tapi bile da dapat jadik tuh jgnla disia2kan peluang ntk carik aset ke akhirat plak kan...

malaysia neh da banyak movie la lagu la yang konon2nye nak sedarkan manusia tapi hakikatnye masalah2 sosial neh tade kurang2 pon..n for people like him, i doubt die tak taw fakta itu...
mungkin nabi idola kite tak ajar pon kite buat macam tuh....

tape2...i hope he might have done something for the nation, for the best or worse

Monday, May 3, 2010

yeayyyyyy...da ade baju baru!!!!!!!!!


d other day i terbukak satu blog in my bloglist...
n then nampak baju nehh...
aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh canteknyeeeeeeee
lalu terus beli depan komp
neh r fest time beli on9 kan...
excited gile r
tadi pas kelas dengan pantas aku terus g uniten amek baju tuh...
balek umah posingg..
huuu seksi maaa~~~(ehem kene carik inner la plak nampaknye)
sekrang da ade baju dinner...muahahahahhaha...
best3...
nak tgk???
okeh sesape rase nak usha baju2 kat blog die bole r klik sini


p/s: erhmm rina...pinjam gambar neh...hehehehehe

Saturday, May 1, 2010

oh anak....


Seorang bapa pulang dalam keaadan letih disambut baik oleh anaknya yang berusia 7 tahun.Sambil mengangkat briefcase ayahnya,si anak itu bertanya kepada ayah...

Anak: Ayah....ayah...boleh Amin tanya satu soalan?
Ayah: Hmmm...nak tanya apa?
Anak: Ayah...berapa pendapatan ayah sejam di pejabat?
Ayah: Itu bukan urusan kamu,buat apa sibuk-sibuk nak tanya?Si ayah muka mula menengking..
Anak: Amin saja nak tahu ayah... Tolonglah beritahu berapa pendapatan ayah sejam di pejabat?

Si anak mula merayu pada ayahnya.

Ayah: 20 ringgit sejam...Kenapa nak tahu?

Jerkah ayahnya lagi.

Anak: Oh...20 ringgit...Amin menundukkan mukanya.
Anak: Ayah...boleh tak bagi Amin pinjam 10 ringgit dari ayah?

Si ayah mula menjadi berang dan berkata."Oh,itu ke sebabnya kamu tanya pasal pendapatan ayah?Kamu nak buat apa dengan duit itu?Minta sampai 10 rinngit?Nak beli mainan lagi??Ayah penat-penat kerja cari duit,kamu senang-senang nak membazir ya...Sudah,pergi masuk bilik...tidur!Dah pukul berapa nih!!!
Si anak itu terdiam dan perlahan-lahan dia kembali ke biliknya.Si ayah duduk di sofa sambil memikirkan mengapa anaknya yang sekecil itu meminta duit sampai 10 ringgit...Kira-kira 2 jam kemudian,ayah kembali tenang dan terfikir kemungkinan besar anaknya benar-benar memerlukan duit untuk keperluan di sekolah kerana anaknya tak pernah meminta wang sebegitu banyak sebelum ini.
Dengan perasaan bersalah,si ayah melangkah menuju bilik anaknya.Didapati anaknya masih belum tidur.

"Kamu benar-benar perlukan 10 ringgit?Nah...ambil ni"Si ayah mengeluarkan sekeping duit warna merah.
Si anak itu segera bangun dan tersenyum girang...
"Terima kasih ayah"

Lalu dia mengankat bantalnya dan mengeluarkan sekeping duit 10 ringgit yang sudah renyuk terhimpit oleh bantal.Bila ternampak duit itu,si ayah kembali berang.

"Kenapa kamu minta duit lagi sedangkan kamu dah ada duit sebanyak itu???Dan dari mana kamu dapat duit itu??"

Amin tunduk...tak berani dia merenung ayahnya.Sambil menggenggam kemas duit itu,dia menerangkan...

"Duit ni Amin kumpul dari belanja sekolah yang ayah bagi hari-hari tu.Amin minta lagi 10 ringguit kat ayah sebab Amin tak cukup duit..."

"Tak cukup duit nak beli apa??"Jerkah ayahnya lagi.

"Ayah...sekarang Amin dah ada 20 ringgit...Nah...ayah ambil duit ni.Amin nak beli sejam dari masa ayah di pejabat itu.Amin nak ayah balik kerja awal esok.Amin rindu nak makan malam dengan ayah..."

Jelas Amin tanpa memandang wajah ayahnya....

p/s: bace cite neh in one of the blogs in my list....click here..cite neh sangat menyentuh hati aku...yerla, satu hari nanti tah2 aku jadik cam bapak budak neh kan...sibuk sgt sampai tade mase ngan famili....aku membesar dalam suasana family comes first...ape2 yang aku buat sume terbantut kalo ade urusan famili...sebab bagi aku, biarla best dan penting cane2 pon bende yang aku ngah nak buat tuh, tapi keluarga lebey penting sebab dengan keluarga aku dapat kekuatan dan kebahagiaan aku...dan aku percaye, hanye keluarga yang benar2 setia boleh mengangkat aku dari jatuh...and aku sangat2 nak keluarga aku jadik macam aku...nak anak2 aku paham betape pentingnye keluarga tuh sebab aku takot nnt dorg lupe asal usul dan paling takot lupe mak ayah sendirik...nauzubillah

masalahnye aku plak takot aku tak dapat ade dengan dorg bile dorg perlu sebab aku terpakse ade dan bantu org laen yang bukan ade pertalian saudara ngan aku tapi sangat2 memerlukan aku...aku taw, ape yang aku buat adelah kerana Allah...aku nak jage hamba2 Dia bile dorg dilanda kemudaratan..dan aku cume berharap anak2 aku dijaga Allah...

kadang2 aku rasa tak adil ntk anak2 aku...antare sebab aku tak sampai hati nak ada anak before habes HO...sebab mase tu sangat kritikal ntk aku..dengan on-call silih berganti...sapelah yang nak jage anak aku? sanggup ke aku hari2 tgk die hanye bile dah tidor? hari2 tak sempat tgk die bukak mate...ketawe dengan aku...mak aku dulu pon berenti keje sebab hari tertekan sangat2 sebab kene tinggalkan aku...akan jadi macam tu ke aku??? takotnye....kesian kamu wahai anak...

aku hanya berharap mereka faham....satu lagi ketidakadilan ntk mereke...maseh kecil tapi terpakse memahami tanpa dendam sesuatu yang hanye seorang yang matang je boleh paham...
seandainya kamu lahir didunia satu hari nnt...sesungguhnye aku mahu kamu tahu, bahawa kamu adalah insan kecil yang sangat tabah dan cekal hatinya...terpakse berjuang dengan aku tanpa kamu sedari...dan aku sangat bersyukur ntk itu...

percayelah aku akan lakukan ape saje asal aku dapat bersame2 dengan keluarga aku tanpe lupe tanggungjawab aku terhadap masyarakat...~FM here i come!!!

nadiku



Suara kisah kita
Yang sehalus sahutan di mata
Segala norma yang melena ku
Pada aroma syurga kita
Nan syahdu cinta menunggu
Sayunya kerna air matamu
Nadiku bagaikan berlagu
Nantimu hentikan apa berlaku padamu
Yang ku temu
Hadirmu sambutlah damba dakapanku
Suria kasih kita
Yang berbisik gerimis serinya
Seindah frasa yang damaikan ku
Walau sezarah air mata
Biarku kucup wajahmu
Leburkan saja ia padaku

p/s: such a beautiful song....sadly from a drama that i hate...hahaha..click on the link if nak tgk

HIT2 me...