morning sunshine

got up at 5.30 am, preparing his breakfast...

remembered reading facebook status these days, of friends complaining about not getting to see the sunshine due to work...

then, i looked out the window and saw the beautiful morning ray of sunshine at 6.00am here in tawau..

well, i guess i am never going to miss the sunshine then!

but the thing is, i still can't get use to this despite being here for almost a month already...when i was little, i when to school at 7.00am, and the sunshine is barely there...but the students her  went to school at 7.00am, yet the morning is almost like a semenanjung's afternoon...ahaks

a life plan

i'm watching people near me~left and right, front and back calculating on their life plans..

trying to carry out their lives based on a plan that they have outlined before by themselves or by some other people, parents or spouses perhaps..

somehow i couldn't grasp the idea of a planned life, so detailed its making me lose my nerves..

all i wanted to do is enjoy everyday of my life (in a good way) and trying to make the best out of it everyday without having to worry about yesterday or tomorrow...

sure, i have to have a vision of what i am going to be 10 years from now and work for it..i do have it~

but what i couldn't understand is how do you make the vision so detailed when you couldn't even know what's going to happen tomorrow? or maybe, the next hour of your life...or maybe, the next second...

my plan in 10 years is simple...to become an excellent mother like what i have as a child.. and even better, a mother who will be able to provide material and emotional fulfillment to my family, and most importantly to my children...how that is going to happen really depends on how i carry out my life today and tomorrow..

so i picture myself as someone who is a mostly-home-based full-time mother and part-time doctor..being a mother is i suppose a natural instinct in all women, so the only thing i have to work on now is to make myself a part-time doctor~which isn't actually an ambitious plan of all, though i am sure isn't going to be easy as well, but i believe, it'll give more satisfaction to me...because then, i will have more time to explore the world with my worldly possession aka my family...

anyway, who am i working hard for if not for my own family and ultimately for His blessings?

and apart from that, become an investor with my husband so that my children have a good future...(this is a very cliche statement)

the details of it will be outlined as my life goes on, at how every decisions in every aspect of life are made by us,   at how we carry out ourselves as a civilized human being...and that's what i am trying very hard to do now because it involves my deeply in-grained personality as well as emotional and intelligent quotient..

i want

chocolate

delicious cakes

ice cream

flowers

sleep

story books

tour

new movies

new dress/blouse

new bag

car

mum

kiah

i WAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new life

currently in tawau, with my husband who has already started work as a house officer in tawau general hospital..
my first impression of tawau: empty..hahahahahaha
but its the life that i have always imagined..quiet, peaceful and village-like..
so i can't complain a lot
i am homesicked..i miss my mum most and cried every night..its been a long time since i have separated from her, and yet never this far...somehow it makes me wonder, how other people manage to live in the overseas, a million miles away from their family..they must be very brave and steel-hearted...i must be like them!! i guess being jobless (at my own choice) makes me have too much time to let my emotion wander..

thank goodness i am here for work, because then i will be able to earn money and get my mum here..if i am here to study, i can't imagine how badly homesick i will be..huhu

anyways, i am truly looking forward to explore yet another new place i have never been to~
hopefully, its worth all the pain...