~::a SOUL behind the whitecoat::~

love?

2012-02-03T08:09:00.001+08:00

it needs more than love to be able to stand beside someone and be the source of their strength
it needs a lot of responsibility and courage..patience and passion..self-motivation and vision..
to be able to say that things are going to be just fine to the person you love when you, yourself is unable to be confident about it...to be reassuring when your own self assurance is wavering..to be a motivator when your own motivation is dying...
its when you are part of their life, really part of their life, when you wake up each morning and the first face you see is his/hers, then you'll realize that living with that person is more than just love...
its simply unimaginable unless you have been through it...

dunnolah

2012-01-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

i am dreading to wake up everyday now.....
i am simply not enjoying it at all...
and somehow i think i am too young to be living a sad, stressful life...
i wish i can speed up time so all this nightmare will be over..
i don't care what people say about me being lucky cez all i can feel is crap...
its bad enough watching other people cry, but its even worst when you yourself cry daily..
why am i such a coward?

crap-nuggets~

2011-12-31T15:27:00.003+08:00

you may say shitty things to me, condemn me on my faults but you will have no idea that i

have been trying my very best, learning and working...then, i'll say it is you who is blind to see..i

know who i am, and all the expectations surrounding me, but even i believe nobody can produce

miracles...

confidence

2011-12-25T19:21:00.001+08:00

a strong and remarkable word, should one have it, it makes you a charismatic person..
a word i wish i am able to describe myself with...
one simple stupid mistake and all the little confidence left in me is shattered to pieces....
its madness, how building confidence takes all the strength and determination a person have and its ruined in a blink of an eye...
God help me...
i know mistakes happens for a reason and i am thoroughly relieved that the mistake doesn't lead into disastrous end...it was an excellent reminder for me so i wouldn't make real mistakes in the future...but it was painful, it makes me real scared to move on and built up again~

WHAT??

2011-11-10T11:42:00.001+08:00

here i am thinking that i am going to have another 2 months of bliss when suddenly a bombshell drop and shatters my dream to pieces..hahahhahahah..exaggerating is so like me..
but yeah, i am shocked actually that i don't even know what i am feeling right now...
the day before yesterday i bought a flight ticket back to kl for 22 nov, thinking how kind the world is to me, and then yesterday i got a text message from my mum that says i've got my induction letter for this coming 15 nov..since i have already checked in my first ticket, now i had to surrender it...such waste~and i have to spend another rm900++ for another return ticket..madness..~

now i'm thinking of the prospect of working...and i am simply terrified..
i have seen 3 of my friends working, much that they say it wasn't as bad as it seems, i am not that much convinced...
i am not trying to be excellent now, all i want is to be able to survive this 2 years of housemanship..
but i really hope that i am going to at least like going to work...
so now, i am resigning as a housewife temporarily for the next 2 years...goodbye serenity~may i find you in other ways or in another life...
oh ALLAH, i work for YOUR blessings, so i could help my parents, my siblings, my husband and building family and of course, my fellow colleague and patients...may Your mercy be mine~

five simple rules to be happy~

2011-11-06T20:07:00.001+08:00

another excellent story i got from facebook that i want to put up here as a reminder for me

and people that i love if

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the

farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well

needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and

began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and

cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at

what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something

amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it

off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over

the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to

shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of

the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God

raya haji 2011

2011-11-06T11:35:00.001+08:00

hujan lebat gile macam ade banjir turun dari langit dari malam tadi sampaila skrg neh...
so, pagi raya adelah pagi yang sgt kelabu~wuuu...mungkin die dah cerah tadi tapi aku tak perasan, kan? yerla aku bangun kul 11am kot..hahahahahaha...
bangun pon sbb kebuluran dah yg aku tahankan sejak semalam...hahahaha...
so bangun tengahari, mandi-mandi, bukak peti ais pikir nak makan ape..
lalu konklusinye ialah: nasik putih semalam yang dihangatkan sekali dengan ayam goreng spicy sejak dari zaman bile aku pon tak tahu, dicampur dengan kicap manis habhal yg lazat berkrim dan sos cili kimball terbaik dari ladang dihidangkan bersama segelas air milo panas, menjadikan anda sihat dan kuat!
makan sambil layan adnan sempit kat tv...
sorang-sorang kat rumah neh sebab housemate lain sume kerja sampai ke malam...hukkk

sehingge post ini ditulis, itu jelah aktiviti hari raya aku...

3 Soalan 1 Penampar...

2011-11-04T09:08:00.004+08:00

Jawapan dengan Tamparan...

Pemuda : Anda siapa Dan apakah bisa menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya?

Imam : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab pertanyaan anda

.
Pemuda : Anda yakin? Sedangkan Profesor dan ramai orang yang pintar tidak mampu

menjawab pertanyaan saya.

Imam : Saya akan mencuba sejauh kemampuan saya.

Pemuda : Saya ada 3 pertanyaan:-

1.Kalau memang Tuhan itu ada,tunjukan wujud tuhan kepada saya

2.Apakah yang dinamakan takdir

3.Kalau syaitan diciptakan dari api kenapa dimasukan ke neraka yang dibuat dari api,

tentu tidak menyakitkan buat syaitan. Sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama

.
Apakah Tuhan tidak pernah berfikir sejauhitu?

Tiba-tiba Imam tersebut menampar pipi pemuda tadi dengan keras.

Pemuda : Kenapa anda marah kepada saya? (sambil menahan sakit)

Imam : Saya tidak marah. Tamparan itu adalah jawaban saya atas 3 pertanyaan yang anda

ajukan kepada saya.

Pemuda : Saya sungguh-sungguh tidak mengerti.

Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda : Tentu saja saya merasakan sakit.

Imam : Jadi anda percaya bahawa sakit itu ada?

Pemuda : Ya!

Imam : Tunjukan pada saya wujud sakit itu!

Pemuda : Saya tidak boleh.

Imam : Itulah jawaban pertanyaan pertama. Kita semua merasakan kewujudan Tuhan tanpa

mampu melihat wujudnya

.
Imam : Apakah tadi malam anda bermimpi akan ditampar oleh saya?

Pemuda : Tidak.

Imam : Apakah pernah terfikir oleh anda akan menerima tamparan dari saya hari ini?

Pemuda : Tidak

Imam : Itulah yang dinamakan takdir

.
Imam : Terbuat dari apa tangan yang saya gunakan untuk menampar anda?

Pemuda : Kulit.

Imam : Terbuat dari apa pipi anda?

Pemuda : Kulit.

Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda : Sakit.

Imam : Walaupun syaitan dijadikan dari api dan neraka juga terbuat dari api, jika

Tuhan menghendaki maka neraka akan menjadi tempat yang menyakitkan untuk
syaitan...

p/s: got this from facebook..i like this story~some things does not need too much

bombastic explanation..a simple one will simply do...especially for those who is

narrow minded enough to have to ask the question at the first place

title?

2011-11-03T22:20:00.002+08:00

blackberry atau seumpama dengannye...huhu
gelang tangan yang cantik gile (takyah emas pon tape)
baju kurung
handbeg (meskipon aku tak reti nak gune bendealah neh)
kasut clark (mati ko!! baek kumpul duet skrg...hahahahaha)
telekung
kek secret recipe ntk kiah
stetescope baru or otoscope (mantap ini)
baju dan alatan baby...heeee comelnye hantaran ini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
coklat2 yang best~
buah2an (standard ah tuh)

list di atas adelah bende-bende yang aku nak sangat masuk dalam hantaran aku...tgk, 11 je aku taruk..baikkan aku? hahahahahahahaha...

tapi aku dapat 21 hantaran doi...melangut aku nak reply semula~siryes, aku tak tipu...sile jangan mintak hantaran byk-byk beb..dahla membeli bende nak masuk dalam hantaran tuh da byk duit kuar, nak menghiasnye lagi satu hal..bukan murah satu hiasan ntk satu hantaran

so, number 1 and 2 aku tak dapat...number 5 ganti ngan kasut scholl...number 7, 8, 9 tak dapat jugak..so cemane die boleh jadik 21, haaa....tak payah laa tanye~pening aku nak list satu-satu...huhu..

senanye bende neh aku pos semule sebagai ingatan ntk aku...

banyak bende yang aku nak tp tak dapat...but in the end, aku dapat sesuatu yang aku perlu, yang berjutaan manusia sanggup mati ntk dapat jugak~guess?

morning sunshine

2011-10-24T14:24:00.002+08:00

got up at 5.30 am, preparing his breakfast...

remembered reading facebook status these days, of friends complaining about not getting to see the sunshine due to work...

then, i looked out the window and saw the beautiful morning ray of sunshine at 6.00am here in tawau..

well, i guess i am never going to miss the sunshine then!

but the thing is, i still can't get use to this despite being here for almost a month already...when i was little, i when to school at 7.00am, and the sunshine is barely there...but the students her went to school at 7.00am, yet the morning is almost like a semenanjung's afternoon...ahaks

a life plan

2011-10-22T14:36:00.000+08:00

i'm watching people near me~left and right, front and back calculating on their life plans..

trying to carry out their lives based on a plan that they have outlined before by themselves or by some other people, parents or spouses perhaps..

somehow i couldn't grasp the idea of a planned life, so detailed its making me lose my nerves..

all i wanted to do is enjoy everyday of my life (in a good way) and trying to make the best out of it everyday without having to worry about yesterday or tomorrow...

sure, i have to have a vision of what i am going to be 10 years from now and work for it..i do have it~

but what i couldn't understand is how do you make the vision so detailed when you couldn't even know what's going to happen tomorrow? or maybe, the next hour of your life...or maybe, the next second...

my plan in 10 years is simple...to become an excellent mother like what i have as a child.. and even better, a mother who will be able to provide material and emotional fulfillment to my family, and most importantly to my children...how that is going to happen really depends on how i carry out my life today and tomorrow..

so i picture myself as someone who is a mostly-home-based full-time mother and part-time doctor..being a mother is i suppose a natural instinct in all women, so the only thing i have to work on now is to make myself a part-time doctor~which isn't actually an ambitious plan of all, though i am sure isn't going to be easy as well, but i believe, it'll give more satisfaction to me...because then, i will have more time to explore the world with my worldly possession aka my family...

anyway, who am i working hard for if not for my own family and ultimately for His blessings?

and apart from that, become an investor with my husband so that my children have a good future...(this is a very cliche statement)

the details of it will be outlined as my life goes on, at how every decisions in every aspect of life are made by us, at how we carry out ourselves as a civilized human being...and that's what i am trying very hard to do now because it involves my deeply in-grained personality as well as emotional and intelligent quotient..

i want

2011-10-14T13:06:00.000+08:00

chocolate

delicious cakes

ice cream

flowers

sleep

story books

tour

new movies

new dress/blouse

new bag

car

mum

kiah

i WAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new life

2011-10-09T17:59:00.001+08:00

currently in tawau, with my husband who has already started work as a house officer in tawau general hospital..
my first impression of tawau: empty..hahahahahaha
but its the life that i have always imagined..quiet, peaceful and village-like..
so i can't complain a lot
i am homesicked..i miss my mum most and cried every night..its been a long time since i have separated from her, and yet never this far...somehow it makes me wonder, how other people manage to live in the overseas, a million miles away from their family..they must be very brave and steel-hearted...i must be like them!! i guess being jobless (at my own choice) makes me have too much time to let my emotion wander..

thank goodness i am here for work, because then i will be able to earn money and get my mum here..if i am here to study, i can't imagine how badly homesick i will be..huhu

anyways, i am truly looking forward to explore yet another new place i have never been to~
hopefully, its worth all the pain...

song of the night: skyscraper

2011-09-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

skyscraper: demi lovato

Skies are crying,
I am watching,
Catching teardrops in my hands.
Only silence, as it's ending,
Like we never had a chance.
Do you have to make me feel
Like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.
Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.

As the smoke clears,
I awaken,
And untangle you from me.
Would it make you feel better
To watch me, while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken,
But I'm standing on my feet.
You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/demi-lovato-lyrics/skyscraper-lyrics.html )
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.
Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.

Go run, run, run.
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear.
Yeah, ohh.
Go run, run, run.
Yeah, it's a long way down,
But I am closer to the clouds,
Up here.

You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.

Ohhh

Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper

ditujukan khas to him who hates me even if he only pretends to..

rindu~

2011-09-26T00:01:00.003+08:00

sent my husband off to tawau, for his 2 years housemanship posting..i will be following him soon but waiting for my time to finally come is agonizing...
i miss him so much, i feel like i am gonna die~
haihhh
i hate being desperate for money...
what am i gonna do???

new baby

2011-09-23T14:25:00.002+08:00

bought a new baby: a Nikon D3000...
i am soo in love with my new camera, but i have a lot to learn at how to use it properly and maximizing its potential..
it sure does cost me my whole savings and lots of emotional fights, but when i got the deal, i just knew i have to have it, which is why i allowed my bank account to be emptied and i make a loan with my husband..hehehehe..for all its worth, i am very happy~
if you are interested to have a look just click here

wedding preparation 2...

2011-09-08T00:20:00.001+08:00

i am knackered!!!
but satisfied
and absolutely nervous....takut..takut..takut..
and i really, really need a good break after this before i start working...
will someone please sponsor my honeymoon??

hantaran almost ready

room decoration done! just need to find some fresh flowers for my vase

close up view of my hand-made floral carpet..hehe

i just love this thing!

hand-made backdrop done~do excuse the untidy bed..huhu

close up!

menu of the day:

1. Mainmenu:

a. Nasiminyak dan nasi putih

b. Dagingmasak hitam: imported from kampung! home made!!!

c. Ayammasak merah

d. Gulaikawan daging

e. Ayamkuzi: home-made by my mama!! one of the reasons of my 2 sleepless nights

f. Ikan masin

g. Acarbuah

h. Ulamandan sambal belacan

2. Sidedish

a. Laksa

b. Lemang

c. Serunding

d. Nasiimpit dan kuah kacang: home made also by my mama!!-also one of the reason of my

sleepless night...

3. Dessert:

a. Buburkacang

b. Tapai: all the way from my other kampung in Tampin!

c. Buah-buahan

d. Donat

e. Karipap

4. Minuman:

a. Tehtarik

b. Sirapselasih

last but not least, my prayers that everything will go smoothly...without any casualties...huhu

tak suka

2011-09-01T19:25:00.001+08:00

tak suka bile org cakap 2 perkataan ni:

1. beranak pinak: ayatnye," nanti ko dah beranak pinak, ko taulaa susah ke senang ke bla..bla..bla." nyampah ok..bunyik die macamlaaa org tuh da tukar jadik haiwan...hahaha..siryes perkataan tu buat aku rase geli sebab die mengingatkan aku kat kucing yang beranak pinak tak kire ngan sesape pon~hoh..pastu plak dia buat perkataan tu macam tak seronok langsung...

2. perut meletup: seorang budak lelaki jmpe kawan die yang pempuan yang pregnant lalu die bertanye," ehh, bile perot ko nak meletop eh?" hee biadab and sangat tak sensitif ok bunyik nye..pastu tak menarik langsung..dahla pempuan tu penat mengandungkan budak, pastu sesuke nak soh perut die meletup..kalao gune ayat baik sikit tak boleh ke???

my wedding preparation..

2011-08-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

i'm loving it but its taking away all the energy i have, it makes me wonder how people actually go into war during fasting period..huhu..
mostly the item we use for the dowry and bridal room are handmade so as to save the costs..so basically it involves making flowers out of fabrics, stitching stuff, gluing things, scrutinizing and getting frustrated at random objects, ironing a 10 feet curtain, getting backache, sleepless nights and headaches..all in the name of cutting the budget..hehe
should my child wants to get married in a low cost situation, i would strongly advice them to stay away from having the reception during raya...huhu

the 10 feet curtain..dunno why the picture is so ugly like this..bought the purple curtain with my own money..rm2 per meter but the cream one i borrowed from my grandmother...

side rack instead of side table..spent rm20 for this rack~there will a bowl filled with purple pot pourri but will be added later because i can't stand the perfume...hahaha

handmade dowry tray...hehehehe pillows more like..spent rm25 for all of these

handmade flowers for the bridal room backdrop..total expenditure for this flowers and the purple curtain not yet confirmed..

side table...i had to spend about rm25 for this table...but i will be needing some fresh flowers for the vase later...

kiah the legend

2011-08-20T16:15:00.000+08:00

lawak satu

Qiah: abg oman, buangkn plastic roti krim ni..
Me: qiah buang la sndiri
Qiah: tgn qiah ada 2 je.. sebelah pgang roti, sebelah lg pon pgang roti..
Me: ok la.. bak plastik tu nk buang
Qiah: nah!Me: ha tu bole pgang.. pegy buang sndiri..
Qiah: alaaaaaa..hmm

lawak dua

Me: qiah, sayang abg oman x??
Qiah: sayang la..
Me: qiah rindu abg oman x??
Qiah: rindu laaa..
Me: qiah, rindu tu ape?
Qiah: urmmm.. ntah? qiah x tawu..

lawak cik kiah part 1

2011-08-19T20:40:00.002+08:00

watak-watak:

kiah: my youngest sister
oman: my 2nd brother
yong: me!

lawak 1:

Qiah: ini permainan, sape2 yg lain pegang bola, dy kalah..
Abg oman: abes kalaw qiah yg pegang bola??
Qiah: qiah xpe.. ni bola qiah..

lawak 2:

Qiah: abg oman, ni apa?
Abg oman: apa tu?
Qiah: ni lutut tangan kan??
Abg oman: hahaha tu siku la ngek..

lawak 3:

kiah yg tgh makan burger..
kiah: yong, makan timun ni..kiah tanak timun ni.... (sambil hulur timun yang pastuh tetibe die sumbat semula dalam mulut dia n jilat2 timun tuh)
me: eh, kate nak bg yong, yg pegi jilat2 masuk mulut semula timun tu apesal??
kiah: iyelaa, kat timun tu ade mayonis, kiah nak mayonis die...
me: hampeh~

lawak 4:

kiah: yong jangan laa naik dlu
me: naik mane?
kiah: naik atas laa..
me: atas mane?
kiah: atas kipas.....
me: eh?

jar of hearts..

2011-08-16T18:16:00.003+08:00

this song has got meanings for me..
you can define love in many ways in your life, right?
it doesn't have to stop at your partner only...or maybe, ex-partners~
which is why this lyric is here..as a reminder of how words can tear you apart and leave scars to be remembered all your life..it could have been easier if i am still a child, cez its easier to forget all the pain..but not now when i have all the emotions, dignity and what is left of my self-esteem..as well as an already shattered relationship..
i am learning to forgive you for all your terrible weaknesses that has caused pain in my life..but it doesn't mean i will ever forget it..
i am learning to be happy despite all the scars you've created, but it doesn't mean i will ever forget it...
i am learning to re-script my life, my habits, my principals from all the conditioning you've put me through all those years, so i will never ever become someone like you..but it doesn't mean i will ever forget it...
i am trying not to blame you for the person i am becoming now..for all the temper, the coldness you have passed on to me, i will take resposibility for that and i will definitely re-make my personality so that i won't remind myself and everyone around me of you, so i could live in peace without you haunting my life ever again, so you can never be the center of my existence anymore...but it doesn't mean i will ever forget it..
theres just one thing i have always wondered all my life though, possibly the only thing i am amazed about you, that is how one person can create such disaster in so many lives

jar of hearts

No, I can't take one more step towards you

‘Cause all that's waiting is regret

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]

Who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive

And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright

Remember how you put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

‘Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

wanita vs lelaki disisi Islam...

2011-08-13T22:29:00.002+08:00

Kaum feminin cakap “susah jadi wanita”, mereka telah digoda dan diperdaya oleh syaitan dan hawa nafsunya sendiri, seperti yang kita lihat dialog dibawah, bagaikan mempersoalkan ketentuan Allah terhadap mereka. Dengan kata lain yang agak kasar, Allah berat ...sebelah pada kaum wanita.

Keluh...an remaja perempuan A:

“Aduh, situ tutup, sini tutup. Susah la gini. Apasal laki-laki mudah saja. Tak pakai baju pun takpe. Perempuan auratnya lagi banyak.”

Keluhan isteri A:

“Kenapa la kita para isteri ni nak keluar kena minta izin dari suami kita, padahal suami kita nak keluar kemana-mana pun tak bagitau kita takpe pulak.”

Keluhan remaja perempuan B:

“Jika kita ikut faraid dalam hal pusaka, rugilah kita. Sebab bahagian harta pusaka perempuan lagi sedikit berbanding harta yang anak lelaki dapat. Kami mahu keadilan!”

Keluhan isteri B:

“Kenapa Allah jadikan wanita mengandung dan rasa sakitnya nak melahirkan anak. Suami kita rileks saja? Masa buat anak carilah kita, masa nak beranak kita tanggung sendiri!”

Keluhan isteri C:

“Islam kata kita perempuan wajib taat pada suami, tapi ada Islam cakap suami perlu taat pada isterinya? Mana keadilan pada kaum hawa?”

Keluhan isteri D:

“Bila nak cerai je, suami yang boleh jatuhkan talak. Kenapa isteri tak bolek ceraikan suaminya? Kenapa?”

Keluhan remaja perempuan C:

“Wanita takleh nak beribadat macam lelaki, sebab bila kita ada haid dan nifas, takleh nak solat dan puasa. Ingat perempuan ni suka ke tak solat dan puasa?”.

Dan kemudian datanglah pertubuhan dan organisasi yang membela kaum wanita, dan menuntut hak samarata antara gender, mengekploitasi fahaman wanita yang terjejas akidahnya dek kerana disogok pertanyaan. Kaum lelaki pula cakap, “Ah, mujur aku ni lelaki!”

Tunggu..! Istigfarlah pada wanita yang ada perasaan seperti di atas. Mujur ada seorang lelaki yang bukanlah seorang ustaz namun amat yakin bahawa Allah itu Maha Adil. Dia tidak mampu menuturkan sabda Rasulullah s.a.w dan petikan dari ayat Al-Quran, namun dengan keimanan dan ilmu sedikit yang dia ada ,diolah sebaiknya untuk menjawab soalan-soalan melampau itu.

Lelaki beriman menjawab keluhan remaja perempuan A:

“Cik adik, Islam lah yang mengangkat aurat wanita. Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan ditempat yang teraman dan terbaik. Awak ada emas dan permata, adakah awak nak letak terdedah ditepi laluan lalu lalang atau disimpan dirumah agar tiada siapa melihat perhiasan itu? Ok, jika awak letakkan perhiasan tadi dikalangan orang, agaknya apa akan jadi dengan barang perhiasan tadi? Lelaki, yang utama hanyalah bawah pusat ke lutut tapi awak? Saya tidak dapat melihat kulit anda pun kecuali muka dan tangan! Awak tak mungkin akan terangsang nafsu tengok saya hanya berseluar pendek ke lutut kan? Tapi kalau sebaliknya, jangankan saya, tapi tok imam pun akan tercabut serbannya jika tengok awak pakai hanya seluar pendek!”

Lelaki beriman menjawab keluhan isteri A:

“Ok, isteri perlu taat pada suami. Jadi, lelaki apa? Suami perlu wajib taat juga kepada ibunya tiga kali lebih utama dari ayahnya, walaupun dia sudah berkeluarga. Isteri tidak perlu lagi, taatnya hanya pada suami. Kenapa awak perlu taat pada suami? Kerana suami kalian lah yang menanggung dosa yang kalian lakukan!”

Lelaki beriman menjawab keluhan remaja perempuan B:

“Betul ke wanita menerima warisan pusaka lagi sedikit daripada lelaki? Tapi kan, harta itu memang hak untuk wanita itu dan dia berhak lakukan apa saja yang dia mahu. Shh.. jangan kongsi dengan sape-sape walaupun suami. Tak kesian pada lelaki ke, dia perlu membahagikan harta pusaka itu kepada isteri dan anak-anaknya. Kalau isteri dia ramai, anak dia ramai, harta pulak secebis, tak merasa lah jawabnya!”

Lelaki beriman menjawab Keluhan isteri B:

“Tahniah la sebab awak dapat mengandung dan melahirkan. Setiap kali awak begitu, wanita itu didoakan oleh sekalian makhluk dan malaikat! Beruntungnya awak! Andaikan awak meninggal pula masa beranak tu, percayalah… itu mati syahid dan ganjarannya syurga. Ya, syurga menanti awak malah beranak 15 kali pun sihat sampai ke tua! Sebab tu tak ramai orang wanita meninggal masa melahirkan !”

Lelaki beriman menjawab Keluhan isteri C:

“Akhirat nanti, saya dan lelaki lain didunia ini akan diminta bertanggungjawab keatas empat jenis wanita. Siapa? Mereka ialah isteri saya, ibu saya, anak perempuan saya dan adik perempuan saya. Tahu maksudnya? Awak nanti di akhirat, awak akan dibantu oleh empat lelaki! Siapa mereka? Mereka ialah suami, ayah, adik atau abang malah anak lelaki awak!”

Lelaki beriman menjawab Keluhan remaja perempuan C:

“Nak beribadat macam lelaki? Ingat mudah ke nak dapat syurga? Sedarlah, awak sebagai wanita boleh masuk sebarang pintu syurga yang awak sukai. Ya, dah la syurga, ada pilihan pula hanya dengan empat cara. Apa itu? Solat lima waktu, berpuasa bulan Ramadhan, menjaga kehormatan dan tahu apa satu lagi? Taat pada suami awak. Itu saja asasnya!”

Lelaki beriman menjawab Keluhan isteri D:

“Saya, seorang lelaki wajib berjihad fisabilillah. Awak, seorang wanita jika taat akan suaminya,dan menunaikan tanggungjawabnya kepada Allah, maka awak akan turut menerima pahala setara seperti pahala orang pergi berjihad fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata!”

Lelaki beriman bertanya:

“Sebenarnya, apa lagi yang awak mahu, wahai kaum hawa?”

Namun, wanita-wanita tadi menangis dan salah seorangnya berkata;

“MasyaAllah, sayangnya Allah pada wanita, namun kami sendiri yang mengheret diri ke neraka yang mana ramainya kaum kami berbanding kaum lelaki!”

Demikianlah dialog wanita-wanita yang curiga itu dengan seorang lelaki biasa namun beriman.

Musuh Islam tidak akan berhenti melakukan segala upaya, sampai kita ikut dan tunduk kepada cara-cara dan peraturan yang dipromosikan dan diperjuangkan mereka.

Allah, yang menciptakan kita, maka sudah pasti Dia yang Maha Tahu pada manusia, sehingga segala hukumNya malah peraturanNya, tentulah yang terbaik bagi manusia dibandingkan dengan segala peraturan yang dicipta manusia.

Wahai lelaki, jagalah isterimu kerana dia perhiasan, pakaian dan ladangmu, sebagaimana Rasulullah s.a.w pernah mengajarkan agar kaum lelaki berbuat baik selalu (lembut) terhadap isteri anda sekalian.

Berbahagialah wahai para muslimah. Tunaikan dan menegakkan agamamu, nescaya syurga menanti...

money that kills..

2011-08-12T02:05:00.002+08:00

sekarang isu orang muslim yang kene tangkap dalam gereja tuh nga hangat~
aku bukan orang yang arif dengan bende-bende keagamaan ni, tapi sebagai seorang ahli masyarakat, sedikit sebanyak aku faham ape yang berlaku dalam masyarakat neh..
aku hidup dikeliling manusia yang susah dan yang senang..dari zaman aku belajar, sampailah tak lame lagi aku nak kerja, orang-orang ni lah yang ajar aku bende-bende yang tersirat dalam buku-buku teks aku...
satu bende yang aku terkesan ni mase aku belajar psikiatri kat HKL dlu lebih kurang setahun dlu...ade seorang pesakit ni kene admit sebab ape entahla aku tak ingat..tapi yang menariknye adelah hidup die..die ni orang india yg tade kerja initially, tapi dibantu oleh orang kristian dari gereja-gereja..mubaligh kristian ni sume bantu dia dari segi kewangan, tempat tinggal and sampailaa carik kerja..mase die cerita tentang kehidupan die tu, make timbullah sorang doc ni cerita yang sebenarnye banyak pergerakan-pergerakan keagamaan yang mcm ni yang berdakwah dengan cara membantu orang-orang yg tak berkemampuan ni...

bende ni buat aku berfikir, macam mana pergerakan-pergerakan ni boleh ada duit untuk bantu orang-orang lain dalam skala yang banyak secara konsisten bile sebuah negara yang ade lebih 20 juta rakyat yang kene bayar cukai tak boleh nak bantu sebanyak tuh?
mana pergi duit-duit zakat dan orang2 Islam sendirik sampaikan saudara Islam yg lain sanggup ambil duit org bukan Islam hanya untuk membolehkan dia makan hari ni dan tidur beratap?

orang akan marah mereka-mereka yang amek duit orang bukan Islam ni dengan alasan menggadaikan agama sendirik demi wang...tapi cube korang letak diri korang dalam kasut dorang..kalo korang tade kerja, tade duit, ade plak anak 2 3 orang yang kebuluran menangis-nangis mintak makan, rumah pon merempat ntah kat memane, kalo dapat duduk bawah jambatan pun dah kire bagus..pergi mintak bantuan JKM tapi kene tolak bulat-bulat, kalo dapat pon seciput je (kite sume tau, dengan ekonomi sekarang, kalo dapat rm500 pon belum tentu ckup untuk 2 minggu), mintak duit zakat pon ikot nasib badan dapat ke tak, last2 mintak sedekah tepi jalan, pastuh tetibe ade orang datang and offer utk bagi tempat tinggal dan makanan yang elok ntk diri sendiri dan anak-anak, cemana?

kite bukan di posisi yang betul untuk meng-judge orang-orang ini...aku percaya, mereka ni sangat-sangat terdesak sehingge sanggup bertindak mcm ni...di posisi kite, ape yang kite boleh buat ialah mencari jalan supaya saudara seIslam tak perlu jadi begini untuk meneruskan hidup....kite sepatutnye malu yang amat sangat sebab membiarkan saudara-saudara kite teraniaya mcm ni..kalau ditanye diakhirat nanti, ape nak jawab?

you can only say money is not everything when you have a lot of it~

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

George Bernard Shaw

self induce sleep deprivation~

2011-08-06T02:23:00.001+08:00

such a nice feeling..to be able to sleep and wake at own's leisure without having to worry about anything at all.. i have waited for a very long time for this moments to come, to be able to sit and think about what i have done in life, to do things i have never been able to do before this, to be able to rethink the plans of my future life without rushing, being able to sit in the comforts of my siblings and mother whole-heartedly and just being able to rest is such a bliss... i am truely enjoying it though i really wish my husband is near me...

soon, i'll be back in action and i'll have to leave this pattern of life again..but i promise that my efforts after this is going to get me back into this time, this pleasure, this serenity~later, if not earlier, so that i can finally serve and nurture those who really needs me~my family~

p/s: if not because of that one person, i might not feel like leaving home at all..

cukuplah~

2011-08-05T02:22:00.000+08:00

susah nak accept, someone yang sepatutnya protect kite from all sorts of pain, emotionally and physically, is the one who actually breaks you to pieces from the moment you start to breathe the air of the world....someone who actually yell and curse those who tries to hurt my feelings are the same person who yells and curse at me for the smallest, impossible reasons to be cursed upon...such hypocrisy, its absolutely disgusting

all this years, you may break me into nothingness, but you have already done that long before...i just couldn't care anymore... i may be a part of you, but unfortunately, you are the one who wrench me apart from you..

fine...

you can't be my protector..tapi,
cukuplah ALLAH sebagai pelindungku...

p/s: to my husband..thank you for trying to be supportive and understanding of me and my labile emotion~

from acheh with love

2011-07-20T23:08:00.001+08:00

to acheh from 15/7/11 to 18/7/11...

such an amazing experience for i get to go to a beautiful place with lots of beautiful people...

this is my first trip out of malaysia...i made my passport just because of this visit and this is my first ever passport..
i am gonna outline some of my experience here

day 1:

arrived at bandar udara internasional iskandar muda at about 12 pm (1 pm malaysian time), we were collected by our amazing host, pak rafar and his friends..
our first stop was dayah daruzzahidin where we will be spending our nights and doing our community project there..
next was warkop (warung kopi) solong at ulee kareng. this is the most famous coffee shop here at banda acheh and true to its title, they serve the most bitter yet excellent coffee..here i learnt that food are served at your table without you asking for it, you don't have to eat it, but once you touch it you have to pay~so be careful...but the foods were simply delicious
next was sightseeing around banda acheh..we went to the massive grave where they bury about 20 000 bodies of tsunami victim in one grave, located next to the leftover of meuraxa hospital in ulee lheue just next to the sea..then to masjid baiturrahim which was also hit by tsunami but amazingly did not suffer too much of damage like the other buildings around it. being sited just next to the sea, it is totally amazing..then we visited the ulee lhueu sea where we had satay padang, baked corn (soo nice!) and jasmine tea drink..hehe
pray at masjid raya baiturrahman. this mosque was 'saved' by piles of rubbishes that was carried by the tsunami wave. the piles of rubbishes forms some sort of a wall that prevents the strong current from tearing down the mosque. it was told that even the carpets inside the mosque was dry when the water was as high as the minarets..amazing..
dinner at a restaurant. we ate rice with ayam penyet, fried fish, sayur kangkung and udang tepung..also had alpuket (blended avocado with chocolate) and es teler (i am not sure what this is but i think its a mixture of coconut drink with coconut milk and jackfruit and other agar-agar)
then is getting ready for our community project next day!

2. at dayah daruzzahidin...first drink from acheh..

your parking man...have to pay him so he'll guide us where to park our car..

massive grave entrance

at massive grave

meuraxa hospital, ulee lheue

massive grave

RSU: rumah sakit umum aka hospital

masjid baiturrahim, ulee lheue

pantai ulee lheue

masjid raya baiturrahman

ayam penyet pak ulis

alpukat

es teler

day 2:

community project at dayah daruzzahidin..we did sunathon and medical check up..this is the first time i wrote a referral letter for a patient..i am hoping beyond everything that i am doing justice to the patients despite my lack of confidence, skills, knowledge and medicine..you know, being a fresh graduate..huk
lunch at wisata (pantai/sea) pasir putih...true to its name, not only the sand is white but the water is as blue as it can be and soo clear you can even count the pebbles and rocks and all the sea things in the water...beautiful place i feel like not going away..the only terrifying thing was we were attacked by a couple of goats which in the end, one of our friend has to sacrifice her rice and chicken to the goats...
went to pak rafar's bookshop where we met lots of fascinating books..unfortunately, i didn't have the hearts to buy it because i simply can't read indonesian language...they induce headaches~
dinner at pak rafar's house...his house were extremely beautiful! and we had nice ikan bakar and the thing that i can't forget about this dinner is the drink...too bad i didn't take its picture..hmm
back to dayah!

dayah daruzzahidin

writing a referral letter

pantai pasir putih

day 3:

went to 2 hospitals: rumah sakit iskandar muda and rumah sakit bulan sabit merah..both have its own memories for pak ikram (our lecturer) which was why we had to go there...hehe
went to acheh tsunami museum.. the building was extravagant, i thought its just too much but then i was told that it was build in such a way that it is strong enough to face the next earthquake and tsunami should it happen again. it is also built as shelter and educational centre...fascinating...
visited the site where a 70 tonne ship was left, carried away about 8km from the sea. it was left there because moving it back to the sea is too costly. so there it becomes a monument of tsunami
visited lampuuk mosque and prayed there. this is another amazing mosque. it is located 400 m from the sea where the tsunami wave started and it is the only building that stays strong in that lampuuk province..it was told that there was a very old chief who takes care of the mosque. he was a stroke patient, unable to move freely already. during the tsunami, he did not attempt to runaway as he was unable to do so, so he left his fate to the hands of God..and amazingly, he and the mosque was saved and he only died 2 years after the tsunami...hmm
went to pantai lampuuk for lunch. this is another amazing sea because this is the first time i ever saw such big waves crashing about..well, its big enough to drown me but not enough to play water ski...hehehe..i so love watching the waves, its just so captivating. i burnt my face here...huk~
shopping at banda acheh...bought a new maxi dress, a handbag and faiz got his new shirt there..nice!
dinner at pak rafar's.. we also had alpuket there...and we slept at his house for the night~

replica of masjid lampisang at lampuuk in tsunami museum...see how it stands strong when everything around it is already in rubbles

a replica in tsunami museum showing the situation when tsunami arrives

the 7tonne ship that was carried away 8km from the sea...

ship is closed for visits at prayer hour

on the roof of masjid lampisang, lampuuk...its so strong it can even stand my weight..hehe

at lampuuk beach...awesome scenery, awesome waves!

day 4:

leaving on a jetplane....sigh~

saying goodbye to our temporary roomates at dayah daruzzahidin..giving motivations to students there thought actually they are the ones who motivates me..
saying goodbye to pak rafar and his family...
one day i'll be back to acheh again!

with pak rafar. our wonderful host

with my dormmate in acheh

with an achehian avocado in my new dress..hehehehe

funny book...kentut=fart~imagine someone spending his life writing a book about the power of farting..ahaks..

there are many more pics but i guess this is about now...there are like 500 pics so its impossible to be sharing everything anyways..hehehe

til then!

sekali lagi, lagi sekali?

2011-07-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

sekarang sangat2 angau dengan cite neh~
jalan cite yang tak tipikal and menyentuh jiwa raga sampai aku teringat2..
pelakon yang best..

meskipon cite die tak brape nak logik lah kalo ikot akal manusia yang selalunye tak ikot novel2 melayu, tapi die bukanlah langsung tak logik sampai tahap tak waras tuh...bende2 macam tuh bole jadik tapi mungkin kes tuh 1 dalam 100000000000.. takkan kot ade org sanggup buat camtuh kat orang yang paling die sayang walaupon alasan die adelah untuk menjaga hati and taknak nyusahkan orang yang die sayang tuh kan? kalo betul2 sayang, buatkanlah orang yang kite sayang tuh lupakan kite dengan cara yang baik tanpa menyusahkan jiwa raga die...betul tak? senang sikit kalo tetibe kite mati ke, kite tak berhutang maaf dengan orang yang kite sayang tuh kan?
tapi aku rase, mungkin mase tuh die buat keputusan pon dalam keadaan serabut kot..
cumenye yang sayangnye die tak sedar keserabutan tuh pasal in d end, die tak mampu pon untuk sedar dari hakikat tuh..terkilan aku sampai tak menahan air mata..ahaks..

korang konfem blur kan?
so pegi laa tgk cite neh...
inshaALLAH tak rugi~
best sangat sebab jarang jumpe cite tempatan yang boleh buat korang ketawa and menangis dalam satu movie...salu cite camneh stok2 cite hindustan kan~
hajat aku tgk cite neh pon jes sebab aku sangat minatkan shaheizy ngan lisa....naseb baek sesangat berbaloi duit rm13 aku..hoho..
kalo ade rezeki, ku mau tgk lagi sekali..kalo kua kat astro first, konfem aku langgan pasal bukan duit aku yang bayar..hahahahahah

batman in the house!!

2011-06-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

pada hari itu...aku baru pas amek wuduk...
kua je dari toilet menghala ke ruang tamu, tetibe aku nampak kelibat bende terbang yang berwarne hitam meluru kearah aku...
siol..
terkejut beruk aku!
terus aku capai telekung and then korang jangan harap lah kan aku nak biar je bende hitam tuh bertebaran tak tentu hala..
tapi jgn harap plak aku nak cuba halau die lah kan..
aku terus cekup kepale aku ngan telekung and...
bertinggung kat situ sambil menjerit macam org meroyan..hahahahahhahahahahahha
siryes beb~
aku memang takot gile babeng ah...
bendealah tuh terbang2 atas kepala aku, aku risau gile kot die nak gi cakar aku ke gigit ke ape ke
kalo kene ngan tikus boleh dapat leptospirosis pastuh mati..
tapi kalo kene ngan batman jadik ape beb??? vampire?
kus..seram..
memang aku dok bayangkan die bukak sayap die ngan taring menyeringai je mase tuh, tuh pasal jerit tahap nak nangis2 neh..
aku ingat kalo aku jerit gitu, datangla superhero dari memane..
tapi aku punye superhero pon dok menggigil kat bilik lagi satu sambil protect die punye kain pelikat...
puas aku merayu kat die soh tolong aku, tapi yang aku dapat hanyelah soklan semula: saya nak buat ape??? awk larilaa datang sini...dey, gua dah nak tercabut kepala lutut, tade terbegerak sikit pon kot..hoh..memang sedeyh gile ah time tuh....penat bagi superhero makan, last2 kene protect diri sendirik..kekekekekeke..
pastuh dicelah2 kegawatan tuh, aku terdengar laaa macam bende kene kat kipas lalu terpelanting..
weyh, korang jgn igt aku hepilaa bile dengar bende tuh..lagi aku menjerit sakan tak hengat~
yerlaaa...kalo betulla batman tuh yang kene kipas tuh, tak melimpah ruah darah memercik kat akU???
aku dah bayangkan daging2 bertebaran and telekung aku dah basah dengan darah..memang aku jerit tutup mulut je pasal takot darah masuk mulut ngan daging2 die sekali ke ape...
and aku pejam mata sikit punya kuat pasal takot gile nak tengok ape yang dah terjadik kat bende yang dah langgar kipas tuh....memang meraung tak hengatla..
aku nyuruk je dalam telekung tuh wlupon aku tahu yang bunyik sayap batman tuh dah hilang..
yerla, aku dok imagine, kot kalo aku kuar dari telekung tuh tetibe si batman tuh terkam muke aku ke..lagi ngeri kalo aku kene tengok die nazak kan? aku tak penah tgk batman nazak tapi kalo die nazak macam ayam kene sembelih memang horror habeh weyh..mimpi sampai bebile gamaknye..pastuh plak, kalo die tak nazak aku takot yang aku nampak badan die tanpe kepale ke plak? takpon dah terbelah2 keluar otak..ke kepala die je dok depan muke aku..eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
after beberape lame aku menjerit sesorg, barula si superhero datang...senang je die cakap: eh, dah tadela bende tuh...aku soh die tgk betul2 and memang die cakap tade pape yang mencurigakan, tade sebarang mayat, kepala, otak atau usus2 berkeliaran...so aku pikir, oh, mungkin si batman tuh dah blah la kot..mungkin bunyik yang macam kene kipas tuh jes sayap die and die survive..or mungkin tuh hanyelah khayalan aku...
so aku pon bukak ah telekung aku and bukak mata...tidak ku sangka, itulah tindakan dan decision yang paling aku menyesal pada malam itu...hahahaha
pasal bile aku bukak je mate, betul2 depan bijik mata aku adelah si batman yang dah terjelepuk kaku...bertuah punye superhero aku rabun ke ape agaknye sampai bende tuh pon tak nampak....tertipulah aku lagik
make haruslah aku sambung tekup muke semula dalam telekung and sambung menjerit sampailaa si superhero amek penyapu and sodok mayat batman tuh and campak luar rumah...huh

pastuh, aku terus semayang..
beberape ketike pastuh superhero itupon panggil aku keluar..
rupe2nye kat balkoni rumah aku ade lagi satu mayat batman...aku cam pelik,. apesal plak laa umah aku jadik tumpuan batman malam neh...
tapi yang pasti, batman tuh da penyek kene bedal ngan penyapu sampai patah2 penyapu tuh dikerjakan oleh si superhero...masalahnye, sampai sekarang aku tak tau adekah batman itu dah lame mati atau mati ditibai dek penyapu...ahaks...

sekianlaah riwayat batman forever~

p/s: ade gambar die tapi memandangkan komputer takmo memberi kerjasama maka next time jela aku upload..huhu

kl gangster

2011-06-14T17:59:00.022+08:00

disebabkan hidupku sudah tiada hala tujunye, maka, hari ni aku pon pergilaa usha movie...
kekadang tetibe hati aku terase bersalah...yerlaa, hari2 dlu kalo aku g usha movie konfem rase bersalah sebab tak study...hari ni bile idea study tu sendirk macam tak masuk akal, aku tetap rase bersalah bile nak pegi berfoya2..ahaks..tah mende tah..another reason nak tgk movie is nak mempergunakan kad student aku dengan sepuas2nye memandangkan kad tuh da tak valid pasneh...pasneh da kene bayar tiket adult, takley gune name student dah (padahal aku dah dengan banggenye mengannounce aku da letak jawatan as a student universiti musim ini sejak minggu lepas lagi...hahahahahhaha)

anyway, cite kl gangster neh agak menarik..jalan cite biasa jela, cume melibatkan sikit2 lawak tak hengat dari zizan and bercirikan kekeluargaan...kalo tak sebab tuh, die macam cite2 gangster yg lain lah, gaduh, gaduh dan gaduh lagik..huhu

cumenye, kalo laaa aku yg jadik cameraman cite tuh, aku rase aku akan cube dapatkan satu tripod yang stabil baik punye supaya takyah aku lari sesame dengan aktor2 tuh sambil hangkut camera berat nak mampus tuh untuk rakam aksi dorang (at least nehlaa yang aku bayangkan cameraman tuh buat bile rakam lakonan org)..pening kepala aku tgk gambar movie bergegar-gegar especially time dorang sume ngah bertumbuk2 dan berkejar2an..rase macam dorang menggunekan gegaran tuh untuk menutup ketidak-real-an cite tuh je..padahal kalo tak bergegar cantik je pon movie tuh kot aku rase...

anyway, aku suke ah ngan aaron, adi putra, zizan, adam corrie and mamat yg name ajib tuh...lawa seyh dorang berlakon...yang si SY tuh plak, bakpeelaa die kene speakang dialek ala2 cina weyh? dah macam org kedah try cakap cina plak..klako..laki aku pon pening kapla beb (yer, laki saye org kedah) plus, die berlakon tak real sngt pon bab tumbuk2 tuh...mulut saje lancang disitu (thanx kepade si penulis skrip..huhu)

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS

2011-06-14T02:23:00.000+08:00

(Actual writings from hospital charts)
>
> 1 . The patient refused autopsy.
>
> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
>
> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
>
> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
>
> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
>
> 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
>
> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
>
> 8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
>
> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
>
> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
>
> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
>
> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
>
> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
>
> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
>
> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
>
> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>
> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
>
> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
>
> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
>
> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>
> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
>
> 22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>
> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
>
> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>
> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

26. vomiting one week ago containing foot particle

27. right iliac fossa pain not aggravated by foot

i encountered no. 26 and 27 myself in a medical record at a hospital where i did my practical...huhu

p/s: a reminder for my by my dearest lecturer: mr ahmed awil adam..(desperately praying that i won't do the same mistake and to constantly check my English as a medical document is a legal document and my words can be used against me..yikes)

done

2011-06-12T10:22:00.028+08:00

done with school n now i am thinking how and when to start...
i dun want to regret my decision and i dun want to rush in making one...
i have fought a long way to be here and somehow indulging myself into another responsibilities in a very short period of time doesn't feel worth it..
all i want is to be doing something i am ready to do and do it whole-heartedly..
i love medicine..but to be doing it with full commitment needs a lot of courage..
finding courage to do something that is WAY different from studying needs some time..
i mean, i went to hospital like everyday of the weekdays, now, i need to go even in the weekends and public holidays..
i went to hospital at my own leisure time, go home at my own leisure time...but now, that's already my past and i will be going there day and night, no choice, period!
God, that's really scary and it really, really spoils my happiness of passing the exams..
right now, i feel so depressingly unhappy, that even my dad feels weird about it...i should be running around the house like a maniac, happy but i am definitely not...yesterday, my aunts and uncles were here and all i did was scream angrily at my little cousins or just give them the scary angry looks and they'll stop whining about..that's how bad i am..
so i suppose, taking a break might do me good...
my mum said, i am married..for me, to work is just for my own satisfaction....i only need to help faiz to raise our family if he doesn't have the means for it but he's a doctor too...and i am only one of her daughter and she has got many children as well to be helping her apart from me, therefore its not a one girl's show..so the burden of working to supply other people is not there for me, except helping the poor la...i am lucky~
so its never about the money, but its about the satisfaction and dedication to it...
i asked my lecturers for advice, and my conclusion is, there's nothing for me to regret if i start a bit later except maybe i get a bit dusty...

so i really, really hope i am doing myself justice now and later on because if i don't nobody will...

kembali...

2011-05-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

when it seems that all means have been exhausted..
or maybe i have not brought out the best potential of myself and the time is already running out and its too late to try again right now...
all that is left is just to believe in myself..
i have been prepared to face this for the past 5 years (not the past 5 weeks/months/days/hours) , all i need is just a little bit of confidence, patience and faith...just another 3 important days to prove that the past 5 years (and not the past 5 weeks/months/days/hours) has made me a better person, made me useful for others and made me a safe instrument of God....and of course, to prove that the past 5 years has not been a waste...
that is all that it needs...nothing too much nor severe but some wisdom and knowledge will insyaALLAH guide me with ALLAH leading the way...

fear is building up...but it is He who creates the fear...when fear envelopes my soul, it is to Him that i should turn to...

"O Allah! I seek refuge in You from sorrow and sadness, and I seek refuge in You from unablness
and laziness, and I seek refuge in You from cawordliness and miserliness, and I seek refuge in
You from the harshness of debt and the overpower of men"

one fracture two words..

2011-05-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

aka: sepatah dua kata..huhu (inspirasi dari classmate ku yang terkiyal2 cube nak translate ayat disebelah kedalam bahase inggeres..hamek ko! aku translate sejibik sejibik biar ternganga external examiner itu..hahahahahahhaha)

jumpe mak aku and die cite bende terpelik didunia...(pelik untuk aku la, tatawla kat orang lain pelik ke tak)
satu malam neh, adik bongsu aku, zaqieya bermonolog sebelum tido:

kiah: kiah sayang babah, kiyah sayang mama, kiyah sayang kakak yong (haku le tuh~), kiyah sayang kakak akis
mama: eh? itu je ke sayang? abang ayip tak sayang?
kiah: sayang...
mama: abang luqman?
kiah: sayang...
mama: abang faiz?
kiah: tak sayang...
mama: kenape pulak???
kiah: sebab abang faiz lelaki...
mama: aik, abis, abang ayip, abang luqman dengan babah bukan lelaki ke?
kiah: lelaki jugak...tapi abang faiz tu hensem, sebab tu kiah tak sayang...
mama: gelak~(aku? tengah makan pisang mama cite tuh terus tersedak, seb baik tak mati tercekik..huk)

semalam aku lak tanye die...kiah, hensem tuh ape....?
kiah: hensem tuh kelakar...

dey???
apekah?

3 weeks

2011-05-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

3 weeks to go, i told them...3 weeks to go and i am done with my studies in medSCHOOL..
but it actually doesn't mean anything because, once you have ended 1 school, you'll be attending another school..the school of real life, and this one lasts forever...

i am not scared of the next 3 weeks..not because i am prepared (coz i am not, and i am merely taking those excellent people's words for granted which are, we have passed unless we did something really2 wrong and just do what we normally do in the wards blablabla..)..i am not scared of the exam, because, if i fail it means that i am not ready enough to be serving/handling people's life..that i can't be responsible YET, that it means i get another opportunity to perfect myself before going into the next life (in this world la)...but if i pass, does that mean i can be trusted enough with another person's LIFE?? that's what scare me most at this moment because the time for my moment of carefree-ness has come so near to its end and i haven't still made up my mind about myself...hmm

intellectual retards day out..

2011-05-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

kerana bosan, maka ini lah jadiknye...(kreatif sangat neh)

hahahaha

enjoy the pics~

apparently, the sun doesn't set here at this part of the world

i can FLY!!

i am tarzan!!

and the treacherous root gives way..damn, isn't there any better way to say that i am just too much for you? huk

i am DYING!! hellllppppp!!!!

i am so jealous..why can't i be as paper thin as him???

man: hei you, look, i can jump!!
women: excellent, the puppet string works!

woman: RUN!!
man: waiiitttt~~my puppeteer is sleeping..i can't move

man: now i can run but why the hell are you turning around?
woman: so that i can give you a flying kick..heheheheh

man: ah..apparently, you are too short, you can't reach me dear..YEEHAAA!!
woman: fine....huh

say RUN!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha

mad people running for no reason

intact 12th cranial nerve

sad

overexcited

intact 7th cranial nerve and thyrotoxicosis

5th cranial nerve palsy..jaw deviation..ahaks

no diagnosis..just retards..~

little wonder in my life..

2011-05-01T03:07:00.001+08:00

i can't believe this is not the first thing i wrote here....!

last Tuesday (26 april 2011) marks the first day in my life as a medical student that i get to hold a newborn in my arms just a few hours after she entered the world...and much more meaningful is, the newborn is my friend's first daughter!! how cool is that???

she's the cutest thing ever who made my day that day...
i couldn't believe i get to experience this, that i get to be one of the first few people who gets to hold the baby of my old-school (primary school) friend and neighbour (of course, the labour room isn't open for public people and cameras except for us~ahaks)...its beyond words..

she's so adorable!! that is to be expected since both her parents are good looking..ahaks...

she's so fluffy, i am gonna die!! hahaha (excerpt from despicable me~)

geram..geram..geram..

COOL!! we have the same color, but you are cuter...(never mind, today you win because its your BIRTHDAY baby..mmuuaahhx!!)

10 years from now, i will be looking back into this post and thinks, how little wonders like this creates a better person in the future...

dear wani and muaz: both of you are blessed by God with this new soul, it is now your choice to paint her life into whatever color you love...do not waste it..may God's blessing continues to be upon both of you and shows you to be the best parents a child could ever have...thank you very much for sharing the beautiful experience with us..i am so grateful!~

more than just that..

2011-04-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

to make a person understand is tiring..
to make my own heart to accept that fact is even more tiring, its exhausting...
to want something given with fairness is impossible..
but to hope for it to be given is like preparing myself to be broken hearted..
i should have not cared about it at the first place..

this is so frustrating i feel like slapping that face til its gone..huh
sometimes, i feel like i have made the biggest mistake in my entire life...

perlu ke?

2011-04-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

hari ni kitorang ade kelas dengan sorang consultant ni...
he's a very experienced paediatrician..and i have always loved listening to his story although sometimes it makes me sleepy because his stories seems to never end or it will bring to another story and the session itself will never end..
however, harini aku dengar kisah yang sangat2 menyayat hati...ade 2 cerita yang beliau cerita kat ktorang yang buat aku rase kecewa sangat dengan masyarakat Malaysia ni. mungkin taklah secara amnya, mungkin bende2 ni terjadik kepade segelintir manusia yang ignorant, yang tak pedulik atau bodoh sombong ke ape tak tahulah, dan mungkin jugak bende nih hanye menggambarkan minoriti kes je...aku berharap sangat2 aku takkan berdepan dengan masalah2 macam ni sebab kalo aku jumpelah, mesti aku depress pastuh...okay kesahnye:

1. ade satu pasangan suami isteri ni bawaklaa anak diorang umor 6 tahun kat hospital sebab tgk anak die tak bermaya, lemah, pucat tak lalu makan sume...so pensyarah aku ni jumpela budak tuh, admit dalam ward, buat ujian darah semua bla bla bla, maka dapatla tahu budak ni sebenarnye ade leukemia yang dari jenis boleh dirawat dan prognosis (outcome) adelah bagus sangat..so lecturer aku neh bersusah payahlaa menerangkan ape kebende leukemia tuh (len kali la aku cite or korang carik sndrik) dari A-Z, plan rawatan dan sebagainye lah...lepas dah puas bercerita tuh, tetibe bapak budak nih pon cakap, "doc, saye tahu doc neh orang berilmu dan berpengalaman, saya respek doc, tapi tak semestinye saye ikot cakap doc..doc bukan ahli nujum/Tuhan untuk menentukan ape yang akan jadik pade anak saye, dan saye ade alternatif lain untuk rawat anak saye ni...saye rase tak perlu untuk saye ikot cakap doc".make lecturer aku neh sebagai sorg doc yang professional tanyela pakcik ni, ape die nak buat ngan anak die, pakcik ni cakap die nak bawak g rawatan tradisional (homeopati dsb)..sorang doc hanye boleh bagi pilihan tapi keputusan ditangan pesakit/parent die..so pakcik neh pon tak mahula undergo treatment plan yang ditawarkan tuh....2 bulan lepas tuh, pesakit berumur 6 tahun ni pun meninggal disebabkan pendarahan yang teruk akibat dari leukemia dan tak dapat diselamatkan..masa dah bleeding teruk tuh, ayah budak ni bawak die pergi hospital dengan harapan doc dapat bantu, tapi sayang...~

2. ade pasangan suami isteri ni, bawak anak die masuk hospital sebab anak die demam kuning...memang sangat kuningla sebab anak die ni ade G6PD...ujian darah pun menunjukkan yang demam kuning anak diorang nih da mencapai tahap kritikal yang memerlukan darah anak ditukarkan dengan darah lain untuk buang toksin2 dalam darah asal anak tuh..name prosedur itu adelah exchange transfusion...kalo tak tukar, budak ni boleh dapat kecacatan mental dan fizikal yang kekal..so, sume orang dalam hospital tuh pun kaunseling laa parent budak tuh untuk benarkan prosedur tuh dilakukan bagi menyelamatkan nyawa budak tuh, tapi ikot cemane pun dorang terangkan dan betape pentingnye bende tuh dibuat, parent budak nih refuse jugak and cakap kat doc2 tuh yang doc sume tak tahu pun ape akan jadik in the future dan doc bukan tuhan pun...disebabkan itu, sume orang pun refer la parent ni kat lecturer aku neh nak bagi kaunseling terakhirlaa...so lecturer aku ni pun tanyela parent ni, kenape tak mahu buat exchange transfusion tuh...bapak budak ni pun cakapla, sebenarnye die tuh keturunan Tok Kenali so die tak mahu darah orang lain mencemar darah Tok Kenali yang die ade tuh...mashaALLAH..terkejut aku dengar, ade jugak seorang parent yang sanggup anak die tanggung risiko mati atau cacat semata2 die taknak darah Tok tuh tercemar..kesian budak tuh..lalu lecturer aku suruhlaa bapak budak nih panggil sume sedara mara die yang ade keturunan Tok Kenali nih untuk derma darah dan bagi kat budak tuh supaya boleh buat exchange transfusion...nasib baik bapak budak tuh nak~haih

so pengajarannye disini...aku bukanlah nak berbangge, tapi 5 tahun aku belajar dan dalam kes lecturer aku neh tatawlaa berapa zaman die belajar, doctor dah diberi ilmu untuk tahu perjalanan hidup sesuatu penyakit, kesan penyakit2 tuh ke atas manusia dalam jangke masa panjang...kami tahu, walaupun kami tak boleh jamin yang sume orang akan dapat bende yang sama macam dalam buku sebab kami faham ape yang berlaku...buku hanya teori, tapi teorinye dah dikaji kebenarannye..kami tak cube nak jadik Tuhan, tapi disebabkan kami tahu risiko2 yang mungkin terjadik kalo penyakit dibiarkan je, make kami cube untuk elakkan bende tuh terjadik dengan buat sesuatu yang dah dibuktikan secara saintifik boleh membantu pesakit2..bukan hentam keromo je....misalnye, orang2 yang ade darah tinggi boleh kene sakit jantung kalau darah tinggi tak dikawal..kami tahu ape darah tinggi tu buat kat jantung, jadik kami nak orang2 yang ade darah tinggi jage tekanan darah supaya tak kene sakit jantung, tapi, tak semua orang yang ade darah tinggi kene sakit jantung sampai mati walaupun die taknak makan ubat..kami tak boleh teka sape yang akan dapat sakit jantung dan sape yang tak dapat, tapi risikonye untuk sume orang tu ade..takkan kami, golongan yang tahu risiko tuh dan belajar untuk elakkan orang dari sakit nak biarkan aje? modern medicine atau tradisional/alternatif medicine dua2 adelah usaha manusia..jangan nafikan kedua2nya sampai penyakit melarat pastu mengorbankan diri sndrik...jgn terlalu percaya kat bende2 yang tak terbukti lagi, tak kesahla moden ke tak ke..dan yang penting, jangan percaye bende karut2...dan kalau mengikut heirarki bukti, bukti yang paling rendah, paling lemah dan paling tak kukuh dan takley percaya adelah bukti yang berdasarkan testimoni sahaje..

personal communication tuh termasukla expert opinion yang tak terbukti lagi, sesape punye opinion yang kebenarannye boleh diragui dan testimoni...

yang kedua, apabile due manusia berkahwin, anak yang lahir tuh dicipta dari DNA mak dan ayah die...darah die, organ die, usus, otak, perut, rupe, rambut dan sebagainye tercipta dari DNA mak dan ayah die..DNA adelah keturunan..dan DNA orang tak boleh diubah..darah tuh kalo dikongsi dengan darah orang lain, takkan berubah punyerlah DNA die..darah kite pun bukan bertahan lama..120 hari je lepas tuh musnahlah die, lepas tuh sum-sum tulang akan hasilkan darah yang baru untuk ganti berdasarkan DNA orang tuh..sebab tuh darah ade macam2 jenis..jadik, kalo saye jadik drakula and sedut darah awk sampai abis, lepas tuh awak amek darah orang lain sebab nak ganti darah yg saye da sedut tuh, takdenye tetibe DNA awak bertukar..kalo DNA bertukar, make bertukarlaah segale rupe, rambut, hidung, tinggi, gigi dan telinge awak..so kalo die adelah keturunan Tok Kenali, sampai bebile laa die keturunan Tok Kenali..kitaran hidup darah hanye 120 hari dan darah dihasilkan oleh sumsum tulang berdasarkan DNA...
point aku bukanlaah pasal darah ni, tapi pasal kadang2 sikap manusia ni yang terlalu obses dengan bende macam ni sampai orang hilang pertimbangan tentang ape yang sebenarnye harus die buat..Raihan pernah cakap, iman tak dapat diwarisi dari seorang ayah yang bertakwa...tapi nyawa kite adelah tanggungjawab kite untuk pelihara, dan dalam kes ni, adelah tanggungjawab mak ayah die...memanglah ajal ditangan Tuhan, tapi kalo macam tuh, bolehla kite baring2 kat tengah2 jalan biar kereta langgar and then tgklah mati ke tak...bolehlah kite semua memudaratkan diri sendiri sebab kalo kite jage baik2 pun kite mati jugak bile kite kene mati..boleh ke macam tuh? tak boleh kan? (ni boleh masuk topik maqasid syariah pulak dah ni)

ni sume adelah pengajaran...bagi aku supaya bersedia dan belajar untuk berfikir secara lateral dan diluar kotak supaya walau macamane sekali pon perangai orang aku boleh handle dengan baik, boleh didik mereka untuk kebaikan mereke sndrik...supaya tindakan aku memberi manfaat kat org lain wlupon susah..
dan pengajaran untuk orang2 yang berakal supaya fikir2kan dan renung2kan ape saje moral of the story yg korang boleh simpulkan~

jangan menangis...

2011-04-25T19:43:00.000+08:00

met a patient's mother today...
since i am now in paediatric postings, so the most i can dig out from a patient is via the mother...
my patient today is a 2 year old malay boy who came in due to fever..
his fever was just like any other normal fevers, but they admitted him because they were afraid if its dengue fever..however, in that sense he's fine...
he is a solemn looking boy, rarely smiling and didn't even talk..i couldn't hear his voice at all but according to the mother, he was always like this, so its not surprising...
halfway through the interview, i found out that the mother taking care of him is actually not his real mother but his aunty...
his real mother is actually a 21 year old unmarried girl who left him 12 days after being born..
2 years of his life, he never knew his mother...
his aunty (the real mother's sister) whom he called "mak" took care of him because her husband wanted to eventhough every other people in her family were against the plan and wanted him to be given to outsider or Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat...his aunty's refusal of giving him away and her husband's good natured determination gives him the chance to live like other normal kids from a normal happy family...
sadly, whenever he was brought back to his village, his grandmother refuses other people of the village to know of his existence...he was not allowed to go out of the house...his existence is a shadow of an unforgivable sin, but he didn't even know it...nobody realizes that he did not ask to be born into the world, he did not make his parents create him out of wedlock, he did not want to be a stranger of his own family, whats more of a mother...all that he wanted are parents who could love him because it is their responsibility, because he is their way, their chance for redemption of their past mistake..yet they make him pay for their sins...

what moves me was the tears of the aunty who was so depressed because of how this boy is being treated...how everyone in her family seems not to care about the boy's future once he know of who he really is..

i know, this time will pass, but at the same time i am very much relieved because he was taken care by an aunty who loves him and an uncle who regards him as his own son..and he did not end up thrown into the bin like some sort of rubbish...how i wish that there'll be more kind-hearted, steel spirited people like them..may ALLAH bless them here in the world and more importantly in the hereafter...

one in a million

2011-04-24T19:18:00.000+08:00

sangat gilekan lagu neh sekarang...
adoi~
memang tak dapat dinafikan gua sangat jiwang beb...
tapi gua lagi cair tgk die senyum ngan menari je ah..hehehehehhehe
rase cam nak ikot je tapi tataw mane nak mule..hmmm

baru balek dari PWTC punye book fair..
aku rase tahun2 dulu lagi banyak stall kot, ke sebab dorang dah gune bilik2 instead of satu hall besau make tak napak sangat banyak macam dulu ye??
mase melawat bende neh dapatlaa aku completekan koleksi buku AKU TERIMA NIKAHNYA karangan ust Hasrizal tuh...aku dah kawin, though kadang2 bende yang dia cerita takde kene ngene ngan aku, aku layankan aje..pasalnye die bercerita tentang orang2 yang nak bermule dengan baik, sedangkan aku punye permulaan tak berape nak baik, so kisah2 die sedikit2 tuh tak relevan ntuk aku plak..ahaks..tapi tak kesah, sebab dari kisah pertengahan sampai ke akhirnye adelah bende2 yang sume orang nak and masih boleh diubah..hik..kat luar biase orang jual buku neh rm20 tapi aku dapat rm17..hik...best2..
lagi beli buku medical emergencies, hadis 40 imam nawawi (yang sangat macam poket n concise, aku suke) and buku bob lokman: aku, isabella dan tok kenali...rupe2nye tok kenali neh femes, aku je tak kenal..mangkuk tol..isabella ngan bob lokman kenal plak~duh..

its a fair day..sangat menarik, tapi aku masih tidak produktif...ape nak jadik?

care...

2011-04-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

i have it all..
when i read things in nets about ladies being tortured by their men and his family in many kinds of ways, i could only held my breath, and keep the anger within me and at the same time feels grateful because of the man that i have and because of his supportive, and loving, un-gedik-able family...
i could only pray that this will last forever...
its hard to believe the torments the other ladies are suffering all around the world and how they could actually live with it day in and day out..how they allowed themselves to carry the burden their good for nothing rubbish of a men should as well carry it with them together as a family..they don't even stand up to it though they know life with their men is like a hell on the earth..their reasons are many yet none of them i could understand or even imagine with my logical and emotional thinking...it was like they are so insensible but strong, no insights but determined, hopeless but very positive..like their inner self are contradicting with each other..it buggles my mind..huhu

and here i am acting like a mad lady because he answered the phone with an annoying voice because he just woke up from sleep and had to pick me up somewhere he has never been...poor thing~hehehe

buli, jangan tak buli~nanti2 konfem gua kene buli plak..ahaks

keep fighting

2011-04-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

i have been fighting all my life..
fighting to be strong as a kid..
fighting to be steel-hearted as a teenager...
fighting to be happy as a young adult..
fighting to be successful as a mature adult..
and i will keep on fighting for my own terms, because eventhough at certain point of times, giving up feels like the best choice ever but the truth is, fighting makes life much easier and more meaningful than just lingering around hoping that rainbows and golds will come my way without much effort...it will then, feel undeserving~
and now, i will fight with myself to become the real fighter

cun~

kektus siput sedut

apehal???

bende baru untuk di cube

2011-04-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

korang suke makan nasik bariani?
salu pegi JM Bariani house kan? ke cam dah bosan?
kalo dah bosan, boleh lah try bariani house yang lain...ahaks...
aku nak suggest MATTOP BARIANI lah plak..lokasinye kat Bandar Baru Bangi belakang PKNS
aku tak makan laa, tapi bak kate si pemaging (aka omnivor) yang merupakan peminat nasik bariani, die kate sedap gile ah..berbaloi2 dengan harge die..die makan nasik bariani ayam harge die rm7 sepinggan...layan jela beb..ahaks..yang penting puas hati..heheheh..sape nak rase boleh laa pegi sane rase sendirik ye~

hamek ko...horrror tak?

smile detection!!

korang suke menari?
ke suke lompat2?
hahahaha...aku suke dua2..
selalunye aku lompat ikot irama dekat you-tube la kan..kasik berpeluh sket...
nak joging malas gile dol...nak-nak bile balek2 umah je macam dah nak tercabut kepale lutut...
pastuh tetibe cambest gak kalo lompat2 gaya lain kan..ahaks..
so aku pon beli ah satu bende bername dance pad...
korang taw, bagai si gile aku carik bende alah neh kat serata kedai mainan kat malaysia neh (ok not reli) rupe-rupenye bende neh ade terjual kat baangi neh je haa...siap boleh deliver free lagi..bongoks betol..sia-sia je aku pegi subang jaya bagai...ahaks..
harge die pon ok lah...rm60..
so sesape yang nak bende alah neh boleh laa pegi ke web site ini...--> http://www.dance-mat.com.my/

rindu

2011-04-11T19:39:00.000+08:00

saye mahu balik...
saye tak pedulik..

you can't make me choose between you who are not blood related to me and my own family..plus, i am trained in a boarding school where all this stupid things about grooming and eating has been taught to me, so why do you think you can change me at all if 5 years of training previously did not affect me in any ways?

oh by the way mr whoever you are, i am NOT finishing school yet to be attending a finishing school programme..(uh oh, define finishing school please~)

mode: sangat marah dan kecewa sbb dah sebulan tak balek and ade pulak makhluk2 yang cube tak nak bagi saye balik last2 minit..huh

gabai retreat

2011-04-09T14:15:00.001+08:00

excellent day for a picnic (jangan kate haku tak ajak plak, aku dah post kat fb okay..ahaks)
we have never been to Gabai falls actually eventhough its located less than an hour from our place...
we got lost because of the bloody stupid GPS who keeps recalculating the route, but luckily the people at the kajang silk tolls and grand saga tolls are well rehearsed as to where this fall is located so we arrived there safely and within the time limit that we set which is at 830am..early, right? especially for people like us who never arrived early to hospital when its only 15 mins away..ahaks...reason being is we want to get the best spot before that place becomes overcrowded..true enough, there were only 5 families there when we arrived and i am so THRILLED because i get to bath at the foot of the fall...the thunderous waterfall was amazing, it makes you dizzy showering beneath it...and its so SUPER freezing cold!! i usually can stand an hour without getting out shivering like mad, but now i lasted for only 30minutes...hiks...
we had to pay rm1 per person, but i guess it is worth it as the place is so clean...no rubbish seen around, but maybe that's because we are amongst the early birds and the place has just been cleaned...huhu
going there was a brilliant experience...its near to KL yet the environment was totally different, like you are in another state altogether..it feels like being back to my village..the fresh air does gives you different aura..what a wonderful way to start a weekend...
we didn't stay long however...we were there only for about 3 hours as the place started to become crowded with people...next time i am going to buy my own tent so that when we go there again, i could sleep in peace inside the tent and not care how many people is bathing there...ahaks..

dizzyyyy~~

BSB should use this place for their song DROWNING~

This one looks like he's the tsunami victim...

heaven on earth..Subhanallah~

breakfast for the day..simple~baked potato, burger and sausages

enduring the coldness

i almost lost my specs here because of the speed of the water, it took my specs out of my ears and eyes and everything, but thank God when i searched for it in the water (this place is in between rocks and its deep) using my foot, my toes somehow managed to find it and grab hold of it..it is a miracle, i thought i had no chance anymore..alhamdulillah~

even my notes gets to go picnicking...(no, i don't read it)

air terjun sungai gabai

definitely will do!

kidney...

2011-04-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

saw a young man, the age of me...(rahsie ye~) in nephrology ward..(wad sakit buah pinggang lah)
he already has an end stage kidney failure due to some funny disease that did some funny things to his kidney causing his kidney to be shrunken and unable to function anymore..
it wasn't the disease that intrigued me...in fact, i don't really care whatever the hell the disease is and how it works, but what i care most is what it did to this young gentleman...
having kidney failure makes a young life almost impossible for you unless you get the chance of getting a new kidney..
as for this man, he is subjected to daily dialysis via his stomach done by himself every 5-6 hours using 2 litres of fluid at every cycle...then it makes me wonder,
how in the whole wide world can he go out and have the time of his life without having to worry about his own wellbeing?
how does he feel, handling his own life with his own two bare hands? i mean, this is life in its essence...i am not talking about money or car or home..i guess that's just something less important for him than finding ways and doing things to prevent himself to drop dead at any moment...
how does he react to a disease that he acquired not by his own mistakes like most people who had kidney failure due to uncontrolled hypertension and diabetes mellitus that they subjected themselves into most of the time?
how is he going to live on when his mother who takes care of him passes away? well, he even looked into my eyes and said that he might only have 8 years more to go...i was so scared to look back into his eyes and said theres always a way out..i am used to false hopes, i think i know not to give him that when he himself knows his own predicament..with the current malaysian medical practices, the chances of him to move forward is very low unless he is a rich man which he is not...doing dialysis thru his abdomen requires a tube sticking out of your abdominal wall and the risk of getting infections are very high..he has had twice already in 7 months using it and he is very lucky that the infection doesn't get into his blood or he might not survive seeing that both his kidneys are gone already..if he gets another infection, he might require an operation on his forearm to make a fistula to allow him to go for hemodialysis which is also very expensive for the likes of him...one cycle takes up to 5 hundred and he'll need it once in 3 days at least..he's not working..with malaysian dialysis centre who mostly does not know how to handle the fistula, the chances of it to be useful for more than 10 years is pretty low..it might only be functional for 5 years before it gets blocked and then his only chance is to do another fistula on his other forearm and as previous fistula, it might not last long also at which time he might only be 10 years older than now thus in his early thirties, than he'll be back to where he started which is using abdominal dialysis again..he's a good candidate for kidney transplant but with lack of malaysian donor and lack of money to get a transplant from some other country this is not an option for him...

i hate seeing people like this...its not angry hate, but sadness kind of hate...
yes, God make him sick so it erases his sins, making an easier path for him to enter the heaven if he is patient and redha with His tests...
but for someone like me who saw him, i feel really bad..what have i done in my past twenty something years of life to make myself appreciate my life better and make the best out of it?
even now, i am being stupid...

i don't dance?

2011-04-03T12:45:00.000+08:00

i don't dance..nope..
i look simply horrible when i dance...
but i love it..
i love watching people dance, it feels like the inner body of me moves along..
it greatly interest me...

so, i think i am going to take up dancing now...
just as part of my losing weight regime seeing as there are so many restrictions to my daily exercise..
i finished class at 7.00pm nowadays which rules out jogging
i live so faraway from the pool and the pool has got schedules which is sometimes hard to follow, thus rules out swimming (and i SO LOVE IT!! damn~)
skipping is so strenuous and not fun when done alone...i lasted only 15 minutes each sessions and i have got no other time to be doing another 15 min session...

but today, i tried dancing...it might have been strenuous, but i don't feel it (or maybe its not) and it is so much fun when done alone as i don't want people to be laughing at me..hehehe..and i lasted 30mins at one go..hehehe..cool...i need to lossen up my body, i guess...its so stiff i couldn't follow the grace dancing of the instructor..she's so fast!
however, its a great start~

oh sh*t...

2011-04-02T10:54:00.000+08:00

hurm..
what have i gotten myself into???

exhausted

2011-04-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

i have exhausted all my energies and mind power for this week, i feel like lying down and not wake up until next monday...

is that possible?

all i want is a nice weekend to take my minds off things before i missed this opportunity in the future?

is that too much to ask for?

its been a terribly stressful week, though i did enjoy it...hmm...

okay, i am going...

siryes?

2011-03-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

da nak exam lagi skali dalam mase 2 bulan (or less??)..
aku tak kesah kalo nak kene exam bertulis..bagila paper bebyk pon aku bole je bantai tulis berjela2..
masalahnye skrg neh exam yang bercakap...
macam mane neh???
impromptu plak dah tuh...
dah 3 tahun aku dok medical school neh, asal exam viva je memang kantoi habes2an...
hurm...
takotla blank nnt..sigh~
memang byk je kelas2 orang bwat ntk crite macam mane nak present and ape point2 yang examiner nak dengar..
and time kelas tuh memang aku hebat abes ah kan..bole je detect ape yang orang tgh present tuh kekurangan..
tapi bile sampai turn aku, terus haru biru...
berpeluh macamla aku dah lari marathon..
that is all well, tapi kalo da sampai tak boleh berfikir macam mane plak??
cakap pon macam orang bodoh je cakap..
bencila...
nak give up pon cam tak sempat plak dah..
heh..
i really really need serious help, but just where should i find it????
lecturer ade banyak students to take care of and i think many of them took me for granted...
i need someone who can coach me personally to build my confidence and to enable me think rationally and talk sensibly during exams...

help....

ilmu baru

2011-03-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

geram tgk gambar2 light painting member aku...

macam lukisan komik atas kehidupan yang real..huhu..

disebabkan semangat inkuiri yang sangat membare, make aku pon teruslaa mengoogle dan ber u-tube pasal light painting punye tutorial..siryes kalolaa aku ade semangat inkuiri yang hebat macam neh untuk study aku, kan ke bagus? hahahahahha

most of the tutorial yg aku tengok gune kamera DSLR...tapi sebab aku tak mampu lagi nak beli bende tuh, make aku pon try jelaa gune camera murahan aku yang mahal gak tuh..ahaks..

godek punye godek, tadela plak setting untuk shutter speed...either tade, atau aku tak taw pon mane nak carik yang sebenarnye...tapi itu sume tak mampu melawan semangat aku yang merah menyale neh lalu aku tibai jela ape yang ade kat situ..ahaks..

die jadiklaa sikit2, tapi at least aku dapat idea cemane nak buatnye bile aku dapat camera ape saje pon yang boleh control die punye shutter speed..hahahhaha...ade banyak gambar, tapi aku taruk ni satu jelah...

memang aku bercita2 nak beli satu DSLR bile da keja nanti so mase tuh, aku nak amek gambar macho-macho kat dalam operation theatre, style tak? ahaks

sebab takde torch light or LED light, aku pakai jelaa lampu henpon..hahahah

tumpang pon jadiklaa...

2011-03-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

disebabkan aku tak sempat lagik naek pelamin sendrik, make pelamin orang pon jadikla...
ahaks...
mulai dari hari ini (kot) aku nak start plan cemane aku punye wedding theme nanti...
ayah aku dok sibuk nak lakeside punye wedding..
mak aku plak nak sangat kat dewan hotel..
aku plak nak naek kuda pakai gown warne maroonn...
muahahhahahahahahhahaha~
berangan ah beb...

hehehehe...inilah tuan punye pelamin yang sebenar ye~ahaks...she's my cousin. yang mase kecik2 dlu paling rapat ah...kalo balik kampung, konfem die je yang aku carik...skrg, ktorg dedue da jadik bini orang, make berakhirlah game masak2 bawah pokok rambutan itu..sigh~ aku kalo dok bawah pokok mane pon ak takmo masak, ape kes? heee..anyway, kamal, ko memanglaa bertuah dapat cousin aku neh yang sangatla pandai masak..kekekeke...CONGRATULATIONS my dear cousin...semoga kekal sampai ke syurga dan semoga kalian dapat saling membantu dalam mengejar syurga yang kekal disana..

perfect

2011-03-10T19:07:00.000+08:00

currently addicted to this song by PINK: perfect

Made a wrong turn

Once or twice

Dug my way out

Blood and fire

Bad decisions

That’s alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, missunderstood

Miss, no way it’s all good

It didn’t slow me down

Mistaken

Always second guessing

Underestimated

Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please

Don’t you ever, ever feel

Like you’re less than

less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like you’re nothing

You are perfect to me

You’re so mean

When you talk

About yourself

You are wrong

Change the voices

In your head

Make them like you

Instead

So complicated

Look how big you’ll make it

Filled with so much hatred

Such a tired game

It’s enough

I’ve done all i can think of

Chased down all my demons

see you do the same

Pretty, pretty please

Don’t you ever, ever feel

Like you’re less than

less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please

If you ever, ever feel

Like you’re nothing

You are perfect to me

The whole world stares while i swallow the fear

The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in lying and we tried tried tried

But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere

They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair

Strange ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that?

Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,

Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than

less than perfect

Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel

Like you’re nothing

you are perfect to me

You’re perfect

You’re perfect to me

Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel

like you’re less than, less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel

like you’re nothing

you are perfect to me

such a beautiful song..it reminds you that you don't have to become someone else just to make people love or accept you...

if they can't accept you, you don't lose anything because many people out there who thinks you are perfect in every other way..

p/s: apologies for the vulgar title...ahaks..

keikhlasan yang nyata

2011-03-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

tgk video neh yang saye terjumpe in one of my friend's blog..sangat menyedihkan buat aku terpikir, kenape seorang anak yang ibu tumpahkan segale kasih sayang masih boleh melakukan kesilapan yang dasat macam ni? mane silap ibu tuh sampai matinye tak berteman, dukanye tak terubat, sepinye tak dihirau?

kemudian aku tersedar, sebenarnye, kalau nak jadik mak ayah harus ade perasaan ikhlas yang tak terhingga..bak kate orang, ikhlas yang tak bersempadan
jangan sekali-kali nak ade anak dengan alasan sebab nakkan anak tuh membela nasib kite di hari tua...sebabnye, ade kemungkinan anak itu takkan buat macam tuh dan ia hanya mendatangkan kekecawaan maha dasyat kepade anda...

bayangkan, beratnye mempunyai darah daging sendiri yang kite luahkan dan curahkan segale ape yang kite ade dengan ikhlas tanpe mengharapkan ape-ape dari die?

biarlah reason untuk mempunyai anak tuh ikhlas kerana ALLAH..
ikhlas memikul tanggungjawab nak menjadikan si anak orang yang boleh memimpin...boleh menjadi Muslim yang baik..boleh menjadi contoh yang disegani...menambah bilangan umat Islam yang dihormati..
sanggup mendidik dan mengasuh anak menjadi orang yang berjiwa besar menjadikan dunia tempat yang lebih indah tanpa mengharapkan balasan langsung, tanpa meminta apa-apa dari si anak dengan alasan, kita, orang tuanya yang membesarkannye, menghabiskan segale wang dan tenage untuk die....

kalaulah si anak itu menjadi manusia berhati mulia hasil didikan mak dan ayah, inshaALLAH jasa mak dan ayah nye pasti dikenang si anak tanpe perlu mak dan ayah meminta..
kalaulah anak itu menjadi sebaliknye, inshaALLAH jasa itu hanya ALLAH yang layak membalasnye.....

jangan harap atau minta sebarang ganjaran atau balasan apepon dari anak..sebab anak itu cuma manusia yang ade kekurangannye, yg turut diuji iman dan akalnye dengan segale urusan keduniaan...
tapi bimbinglah anak kearah kebaikan, semoga usehe kite diredhai ALLAH dengan balasan didunia melalui anak yang soleh/solehah atau diakhirat nantt...

semoge bile niat untuk mempunyai anak itu betul, make ape sahaje yang anak itu lakukan kepade kite walaupon kite dah berusaha sedaya upaya membimbing mereka, kite dapat memaafkan mereka dengan hati lapang dan tidak berdendam atau merase kecewa dengan mereka kalau mereka tidak lagi mahu mengenang jasa kite ape lagi membalasnye...

POST INI ADELAH SEBAGAI PERINGATAN UNTUK DIRI SENDIRI

teka...~

2011-03-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

sape boleh teka ape yang silap dalam gambar ini dan ape bende yang silap itu cube lakukan disini?

hahahaha

life is like a box of....

2011-03-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

whoever creates the impression: life is like a box of chocolate, needs their brains examined thoroughly...

how is it life can be always be sweet eventhough you hate the random chocolates taken out from the box?

i think, life is more like a basket of clams.....you open up the shell, you will either get a nice, sweet, fat flesh to be eaten, or you might get rotten, smelly ones you wouldn't even think of smelling it, or you might get sands coming out of it, or it might just be empty waiting to surprise you...

yes..that's life~

waddahell

2011-03-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

one moment you are delightfully wondering..in a few months time, the whole wide world is going to be in your hands...
the world is finally within your reach, for you to prove the big potential in you..
to make the world see you for who you really are..
to spread your wings and fly away to a beautiful yet rumbling adventure..
to step on the final gas pedal and zooms away with your ambition to bring about a better future for the next generations...
how amazing it is to be feeling so sure...and to be seeing so damn clear of whats coming in the near time..

and suddenly the moments are crashed...
it was like in a blink of an eye and its gone...
like theres suddenly infinite haziness in front of you that has never been there before and it seems that future is never meant to be for you..
not in this time of the world..maybe reserved for your next lifetime..

its truly painful...
to be hanging about like an imprint of a departed soul walking on earth...
even so, i believe there are still a way out...

pray, and God will answer...now, later or better...

NAK NIIII~

2011-03-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

jangan ingat neh hanye snickers yang normalll sebab....

ini adelah eskrim snickers!! hwaaa sadaappp..chocolate campur kacang campur caramel campur eskrimm...fuh!

jangan ingat neh air botol biase..ataupon air botol yang tak patut diminumm...sebabbb..

neh adelah air vanilla creammm! hahahah...rase die sikit macam ice cream soda, tapi lagi best sebab rase die..mm..rase die macam...mmmm...hish..sedaplah..heh susah nak cite (made of honey plus vanilla if you can imagine it..hehehe)

saye nak bende ni lagiiiiii..
sangat besssttt!!
and sedap hingge termimpi-mimpi ke langit ke tujuh...
sape-sape nak pegilah carik kat cold storage berdekatan ye...
tak mahal lagi sodap..nyum~

pingu pressie..

2011-02-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

a friend of mine requested me to make 2 penguins for her as a pressie for her friend..so the penguin i made has a theme and its called madagascar penguins..hehehehe..
one is slimmer and has a look of matured-ness whereas the other one looks rounder and more jolly...they are CUTE!
i feel like baking them...ehemm..nyumm!

oh yeah, they both have tattoo on their butt..huk

saree dah siap!! yeah

2011-02-25T19:42:00.000+08:00

last year i bought 2 saree fabric from a friend of mine...really beautiful pieces!
both have the glittery effect but not too dramatic...just nice for occasions especially for someone like me who loves looking good yet unrecognizable..ahahahhahaha whatever am i talking about?
one piece is 6 metre, so i can share it with my husband and sister..
i made a simple baju kurung with one piece and another one modern kurung...
the extras are made into baju Melayu and another one into a girl's dress..really sweet but unfortunately i don't have the picture here...

so, only few months back both pieces are done and here's the pics...
anyone interested in getting those sarees so that you can make it into reception dress or malam berinai dress or just for casual cloth or for attending ceremonies or parties or kenduris or as baju raya etc, you can just click this link http://anciaalola.blogspot.com/
and you'll see varieties of sarees, rich with colors that'll make your eyes go haywire and your brain gets fuzzy just to choose from it...hihihi...they are just AMAZING~
apart from sarees, you can also get indonesian fabric products such as selendang (the colors are amazing, with beads and its glittering that i am sure that people will be able to see you from 1 kilometer ahead..ahaks..very suitable for glamorous occasions such as weddings and valentine candle light dinner (eh?)) and sampin...

the prices are fair for something imported from afar (it truly is from india and indonesia)..so i am sure that you won't be sorry for buying it...hehehehe..

baju tak iron...hahaha peach-pink color..sweet~

this is the kain...disebabkan my mum yang hantar pegi tailor, so die buat ikot suke die, make terpakselah aku menerima bunge2 yang cantik2 tuh dok kat blakang kat tempat lipat2 tuh je...buat kain kipas belakang...sdeyh je...tapi mama ngan pait kate cantek~huk.cume cam rase rugi jerla

this is his baju...kain taken from the extra kain i had for my baju kurung below...cantik kan? bunge duduk kat tgh2 dekat butang..so bolehla lepas nih pegi kelas pakai baju same..ahaks

this baju kurung pulak is the simple baju kurung, unlike the above modern kurung...i had my mother in law to send it to the tailor sebab nanti boleh mintak die belanjekan upah buat baju tuh..miahahahahahha...so, terpakse ikot taste die plak la kain tuh, make dapatla kain tuh punye bawah sume berbunge2 tapi tempat kipas die kosong plak..hahahaha...i tot it looks pelik, but pait cakap cantik gak...ahaks..

for both fabrics, i love the design of the flowers becez both looks like songket but a more unique kind of songket...ahaks..

at last!

2011-02-19T19:05:00.000+08:00

akhirnye dapatle aku merasa macaroons yang sedang hangat diperkatekan oleh orang ramai...hahahah
aku beli bende neh thru internet...
there's a discount of 50% for 12 pieces of macaroons..so aku dapat rm12 for 12 pieces..its really a great deal for something homemade and is usually about rm2 and above per piece..
and it was soooo nyummy!!

die keras macam biskut dekat luar, tapi once the outer layer is cracked open by your teeth, the inner layer tuh sangatlaa delicate and cair dalam mulut~aduuuhhhh~menariknye perasaan ini..hahahaha..tapi manisla bende ni so tak sesuai untuk mereka2 yang diabetic..(teringat pun meleleh air liur..haha)

beli 12 bijik, tapi sampai je umah dah tinggal 6 bijik..
this thing is a really nice dessert for tea..especially kalo minum teh cina yang tak rasa pape tuh or teh yang tak taruk gula...or coffee~tetibe menyesal plak sebab tak buat macam tuh cez da excited sangat makan dalam kereta...hikhikhik...

i am considering of getting this macaroon as a doorgift masa wedding nanti sebagai gantinye telur rebus, gula-gula, bunga telur, kek buah, bahulu, tuala, sabun bunge, bekas lipstick, pasu, labu dan segale macam bende-bende yang korang penah jumpe mase weddings lah..but then tak tahu plak bajet macam mane and whether this baker could do that for me..n then plak tgh bayangkan cemane aku nak terangkan kat makcik2 and opah2 aku kat kampung nun menatang apelaa macaroon neh...hahahahha

anyway, kepade sesape yang berminat nak rasa bole la singgah kat tempat yang aku beli neh : piqa bakery
inshaALLAH ia akan menjadik pengalaman yang manis ntk anda sekalian...hahahah tak rugi de~

shallow

2011-02-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

sile bayangkan...kau buat satu kesilapan yang maha dasat~
kesilapan yang bole masuk kategori dosa-dosa besar dalam rekod ah..
and ko tak bermaksud pon nak buat macam tuh, or mungkin ko bermaksud tapi ko tak pernah dapat lari dari kesilapan ko atas sebab-sebab tertentu...itu sume part of ko menjadik manusia yang suka buat kesilapan..part menjadik manusia yang Tuhan nak bagi hidayah dan ampunkan dosa ko sampai jadik sesuci bayi...

tapi tetibe member-member ko tau..
and dorang rase jijik ngan ko, lalu dorang tinggalkan ko...
ko pikir, takpelah..mungkin aku deserve ape yang orang lain buat kat aku...
tapi ko lupe, sebenarnye, takde manusia kat dunia neh berhak untuk judge ko yang bukan-bukan sedangkan dorang pun manusia jugak...
and member-member ko lupa, yang dorang tuh takdelah hebat sangat untuk memandang hina kat ko..
dan sebenarnye, ko adelah manusia yang berhak diberi panduan, bukan dibuang...
dan hakikat yang ko menyedari kesilapan ko adelah satu rahmat dari Tuhan...kerane kesedaran adelah titik permulaan kepade perubahan..

orang selalu berfikiran cetek...
selalu lupa yang die pon boleh buat kesilapan, dan lupa bile masa itu sampai, ape yang die mahukan hanyalah sokongan dan nasihat...bukan cacian dan buangan seperti yang die buat kat orang lain...

bukan tempatnye manusia untuk menghukum manusia tak tentu pasal...

layanlah manusia lain seperti mane ko nak manusia lain layan ko, samade ko penah buat silap bilemane ko perlukan manusia untuk tidak menghukum ko tanpe membantu, atau bile ko buat kebaikan bilemane ko nak orang memandang ko dengan rase hormat...

sekian, selamat hari jumaat...huhu

legal valentine?

2011-02-14T13:57:00.000+08:00

i wouldn't call it, legal valentine anyways...because, what for exactly??
its proudly OUR 2nd wedding anniversary and it definitely does not belong to some love priest who dies on this day...hehehe

tataw kenape letak gabar neh tapi cam comel je...ahhahahaha

yep, we are 2 years old!!!
how time flies by...but i am glad that i am here
being with someone that always appreciates me as i am..
who loves me more than i could have loved him...
who tries to fulfill his duty as my partner...
who provides as much as he could and never complains..
i owe this 2 years of hard work to him...
and i could never thank him enough...

thank you, thank you, thank you!!

this is my pressie!! wee sukenye...sowie awk tak dapat adiah lagi....nntla ye, saye nga pokai neh..ahaks

happy anniversary to the both of us~!

SAYA NAK HADIAH DARI MOMMY

2011-02-13T22:03:00.003+08:00

http://kasihmommy.blogspot.com/2011/02/ga-saya-nak-hadiah-dari-mommy.html

hehe first time mahu join giveaway~

cambest jee!!!!!

heehehee...

okay, mari kawan2 kite join ini giveaway yang dianjurkan oleh mommy jue~!

mane tau untung2 dapat hadiah kan...heee sukenyeee!!!!

so if berminat, sile klik link diatas...

tarikh tutup penyertaan 28 februari 2011..

inshaALLAH takde slogan kate...huhuhu

MOMMY jue saye mahu adiah bole? kekekeke

gadis-gadis kesyanganku, anda telah ditag ntk join GA (bukan general anaesthesia ye) neh~hahaha

going back in time?

2011-02-13T14:08:00.000+08:00

another day gone, another responsibility has been thrown over your shoulder..
today you are a primary school student, the next day you are a secondary school student..
time flies by and before you know it, you are already an employee working your ass out for some living..not only for you, but all those whom you have to care for...
when you were a student, you crave to become an adult soon enough because you wanted to runaway from the burden of add maths, SPM, history classes, physics, biology and chemistry...and runaway from being stucked in a boarding school which is so suffocating...
then you are suddenly an adult already who is carrying the burden of the world...younger generations looks up at you hoping that you could bring a better future for them, elder generations looks down on you and wants you to become as good as they are or even better so that you can lead the country...your peers are running towards their goal and fulfilling their responsibilities as a human being, as God's creation, as a child, a mother, father and a leader...and all you wanted is to go back in time and become a child again where add maths, history, physics etc would not question you on whether you have been a good citizen or not...being carefree again...

this, might be the view of many...
but for me, if i have the chance to go back in time, i will never ever do it again...because if i do so, it means another cycle of traumatic primary and secondary school experiences (i think i have never been happy at those time), a frustrating and disappointing matriculation period, a distressful national service (though i quite enjoy it and considers it the only best part of my past life) and a foolish, painful, upsetting ordeal in my pre-clinical years....
yes, i am living a better life now...surrounded by people, yet still faraway from them....

the beautiful reasons

2011-02-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

there's a patient we saw in hosp 3 days back...
he's an interesting patient...
not because of how and why he got landed into the hospital, but because he is simply an interesting person to talk to..he's young and seems healthy, and if he did not wear his hospital attire, he could have been easily mistaken as one of the visitors.....so we talked with him during my night call, just to get to know him and filling in those boring un-adventurous hours as well as preventing from being sleepy..
eventually we came to ask why a fit young man who is in no immediate pain being admitted...
so he told us that on the day of admission, he was playing futsal...you know futsal being a high speed game for a small court and he's kinda big lad...so he was running at top speed around for the ball and somehow, he forgot to brake or maybe just does not feel like braking or maybe he just couldn't have time to brake considering his size and speed when he reached the end of the court and so he hit the court's pillar accidentally which mainly involves his right side of the abdomen and thank God, not the head...
immediately after that he felt pain at the right side of his tummy but he continued playing, assuming that its just muscle sprain..
with all the adrenaline rushing about in his system, it dampens the feeling of pain...
only until the game ends did he feel that the pain is getting worse and so he went to hospital where he was then admitted...
investigation done, it was found that his liver has been lacerated due to the accident...imagine, a common everyday game could get you into serious injury if you are not careful...
but that's not my point...
because, the next day proves that he does not get his liver lacerated for nothing...
because a repeat abdominal ultrasound done the next day, and he was found to have only 1 kidney functioning...the other kidney is failing due to a disease called polycystic kidney disease...

he might complain because he could not function as a normal human being for few days due to a lacerated liver, but he could never ever complain because if its not due to his lacerated liver, he might not take necessary maximum precautions to take care of his health and ultimately his only kidney which could fail and results in him having to go for dialysis at a very young age...and the fact that he could not play futsal anymore or do any dangerous things that might injure his other kidney, lose it and has to get a kidney transplant or a life-time sentence of dialysis as well as reducing his life span because he have got not more kidney to live on...

all this is, thanks to the lacerated liver and of course, thank ALLAH the Almighty, who make things happen ALWAYS for a good reason...so never whine!

mahu anak cerdik?

2011-02-10T23:24:00.000+08:00

hari ni saye belajar sesuatu yang sangat menarik mase kelas surgery yang saye rase nak share disini sebagai pengajaran kepade sume manusia yang bace dan sebagai peringatan kepade diri sendiri...

mahu anak cerdik sejak dari alam rahim??
tak perlu susah-susah beli bende bende pelik yang tak sedap dan mahal dan tatau pon berkesan ke tak untuk dimakan oleh ibu mahupon baby yang belum lahir...
tak perlu beli headphone dan videofon dan camerafon dan vodafone dan ape-ape sahaje untuk bagi baby dalam rahim tuh dengar..(kecuali ayat-ayat Quranla kan..huk)
tak payah...tak payah dan tak payah~~

macam mane ye?
selain dari doa, makan bende2 yang baik-baik...jage hati dan mood dengan baik, ade lagi satu bende yang penting iaitulah memastikan otak baby dapat oxygen yang secukupnye untuk membantu perkembangan otak die...hah~nak kene beli air diamond ke air yang penuh oxygen tuh or ntah pape alkali ke berasid ke tade neutral ke..ke? tak payah! tuh mengarut je lebih..huhu..macam mane nak bagi otak baby dapat oxygen yang cukup tuh mudah je, iaitulah mengelakkan saluran darah yang hantar makanan dan oxygen ke uri dan seterusnye kedalam sistem darah dan badan baby daripade tersekat/ tersumbat/ tersepit atau ape2 sahaje bahase yang anda gunakan dalam erti kate lain menyebabkan darah tu tak sampai ke uri dan seterusnye badan baby dan seterusnye otak die...

macam mane nak elak neh?
untuk pengetahuan tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, apabile rahim kite membesar dengan baby, rahim itu akan memasuki ruang abdomen kite tuhla...die naik ke atas la kan maknenye? maknenye segale isi perut kite pon tertolak ke atas...
jadik bile ini berlaku, saluran darah utama yang keluar terus dari jantung membawa darah yang kaya dengan oxygen dan zat2 makanan neh mudah di himpit oleh rahim yang membesar tuh..jadik bile saluran darah yang utama neh atau name lain die, aorta neh terhimpit, make kuranglah supply darah yang beroxygen dan bernutrient ke uri baby, make baby neh kekuranganla oxygen dan nutrient yang sampai ke otak baby..so sel sel otak baby pon payahla nak berkembang dan tak berape sihat...

bukanlah bile kite pregnant neh aorta tuh terhimpit dek rahim tuh sepanjang mase...oh tidak~~ianye hanye berlaku bile si ibu neh baring terlentang...maknenye die baring atas belakang die la kan...cube kite bayang ye, dahla rahim tuh penuh, berat la pulak tuh kan..tengah berdiri pon die dok tekan2 segale isi perut dengan pundi kencing sume...ape lagi bile baring flat plak kan?? lagi die menekan keatas, make risiko untuk menghimpit aorta tuh lebih tinggi...
jadik nak buat macam mane?? jangan tido terlentang la ye jawabnye!

tido la mengiring kekiri atau kekanan (the best is sebelah kiri) and support perut anda dengan bantal supaye lebih selesa...itulah die care untuk mengelakkan rahim menekan pade aorta yang sangat penting itu!
hahaha..
dengan tido macam ni pon, die akan kurangkan kite rase pening, bengkak air dekat kaki, sakit belakang, sembelit dan buasir (neh mekanisme die lain la plak, malas nak cite..hehehe)
senang jekan jawapan die~
hopefully penerangan ini boleh difahami dengan mudah...sebarang pertanyaan bolehla diajukan kepade saye...huhu...

kepade bapak2 diluar sane, before tido, sile mandi wangi2 ye...jangan busuk2 kang bini yang pregnant neh tak mahu baring mengiring plak, die baring terlentang terus...kalo tak kesah anak tak sebijak-bijak, make takpelah..abaikan sahaje input ini..kalo mahu anak bijak-bijak, make ini adelah salah satu tips yang memang digune pakai oleh orang2 barat untuk memastikan anak-anak mereka betol2 berkembang dengan baik dan terbukti secare klinikal...(untuk pengetahuan anda, dekat barat if nurse biarkan pempuan pregnant baring terlentang je, dorang akan dibuang keje...ini lecturer sayela cite ye...hehehe)

layan blur..

2011-02-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

everyday i will be out there looking for people (out la sangat, kat ward hospital je pon..huhu) to interrogate and examine, to learn..these people will be looking at me questioningly while i question them wondering what i am going to do with them next, without them being aware that i am looking at them questioningly wondering what i am supposed to be doing to them next..hahahahahah...

i hope this kind of confusion won't bother me in the future...especially when i am going to have to work alone one day~

as days goes by, i thought i have learnt something...but then the next day proves me absolutely wrong~i am soooo lacking behind and this is freaking me out...
i dunno what i have done wrong (mungkin tau tapi buat2 tataw..seperti contohnye, malas gile bace buku...hahahah)

ah...help me God~

cair....beb!

2011-02-03T03:28:00.001+08:00

i really, really love this song...it gets to me each time i heard it..i feel like i am falling in love all over again to i dunno who (hahahahahahaha)...it makes my heart mellows and i feel like crying...its such a romantic song, and mind you it has been a very very long time that i have last heard a song that i can actually label it as a romantic song (the last one has been tercipta untukku by ungu)...i wish someone would sing this song for me and really really means it so it'll be even more beautiful that might actually move me to tears...or maybe this particular voice is just so soft, so soothing that it flows into my heart by osmotic effect...each time i listen to this song, i imagine myself watching the man i love ( or i don't love but wants to prove to me that he really loves me) singing it in front of a crowd but his eyes are only looking at me and his smile, his face only shows pure love that nobody but me can feel it....God, that makes me feel so special..i wonder who'll be so daredevil to actually carry this out...hahahaha

SEDETIK LEBIH (ANUAR ZAIN)

Setiap nafas yang dihembus

Setiap degupan jantung

Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Dalam sedar dibuai angan

Dalam tidur dan khayalan

Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang

Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

Kasihku…ku amat mencintai kamu

Kerana kau beri erti hidup

Ku kan terus mencinta sedetik lebih selepas selamanya

Di kala penuh ketakutan dengan badai kehidupan

Ku bersyukur adanya kamu

Biarlah kehilangan semua yang dimiliki di dunia

Asal masih adanya kamu

disenchanted...

2011-01-29T10:09:00.000+08:00

i am going to learn to play this song...its so beautiful when played on piano (or keyboard in my case)...and i think it looks simple...~

ArrrRR!

2011-01-28T19:31:00.000+08:00

hahahahaha...
just found about this funny thing from facebook where you can change your normal english (US) into a pirate english...their english doesn't sound like sentences to me (more like gruntings and scowlings) and i find it hard to decipher its meanings but having something new for a change (even its just the language on your FB) is really good for the soul, right? hahahaha...

now i get a new label in front of my name: cap'n nabilla...in about a year time, i'll be able to add a new one, inshaallah so it becomes cap'n dr nabilla...even if its just on facebook...huk~

i mean, what does amend yer ledger means?? are they some sort of neologisms?

anyway, heres the instructions should you feel like trying it on your facebook profile:

Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook profile page where it says in little blue letters, "English (US)." Click on it.

When the language box pops up, click on the arrow next to "English (US) and select "English (Pirate)."

When you've stopped laughing, spread the word or paste this as your status! Arr!

fuh..fuh..fuh~

2011-01-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

a lot of things to be done...
many papers needs to be written on...
many people needs interviewing, sharing of their pain, their worries, requiring reassurance..
and suddenly i feel like i am standing in the middle of a hectic world, watching as people walks by with scowls, smiles, laugh, tears, frowns and not to forget, clueless on their faces, papers, begs, trolleys, books, computers in their hands...and i am the only person who doesn't understand what's going on..
though then i suddenly remembered a few details i need to find from all the resources that i can lay my hands on....
i really hope that i know what i am doing and not just parroting whatever other people are doing, hoping that all my actions make sense for me and other people...and hoping beyond hope that whatever things that i am doing now and in the future truly benefits those who has been working really hard to help pay my educations (mostly my parents and tax-payers)...
i am so worried if i might just want to stop thinking and making senses and then turn into one of those zombies who only follow orders and not knowing half of the things that they are doing....because somehow i feel like i am being one already, reckless and careless....
God forbid~

the oath of Muslim physician

2011-01-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

in the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

praise be to Allah, the sustainer of His creation, the all-knowing

glory be to Him, the eternal, the all-pervading

O Allah, Thou art the only Healer

i serve none but Thee, and as the instrument of Thy will,

i commit myself to Thee

i render this Oath in Thy holy name and i undertake:

to be the instrument of Thy Will and Mercy, and in all the humbleness, to exercise justice, love and compassion for all Thy creation
to extend my hand of service to one and all, to the rich and the poor, to friend and foe alike, regardless of race, religion and color
to hold human life as precious and sacred, and to protect and honour it at all times and under all circumstances in accordance to Thy Law
to do my utmost to alleviate pain and misery, and to comfort and counsel human beings in sickness and anxiety
to respect the confidence and guard the secrets of all patients
to maintain the dignity of health care, and to honor the teachers, students and members of my profession
to strive in the pursuit of knowledge in Thy name for the benefit of mankind, and to uphold human honor and dignity
to acquire the courage to admit my mistakes, mend my ways and to forgive the wrong of others
to be ever conscious of my duty to Allah and His Messenger (S.A.W) and to follow the precepts of Islam in private and public

O Allah, grant me strength, patience and dedication to adhere to this Oath at all times...

(source: World Conference of Islamic Medical Associations, Kuwait, 1981)

~may i never forget this~

vampire~

2011-01-16T12:37:00.000+08:00

i have been avoiding to watch this vampire movie for a long time...
i am addicted to harry potter and i think that's enough to last me another million years..
until yesterday 16 january 2011 when my mum as good as force me to watch the movie which is the first twilight...huk..imagine, of all people suggesting, its my mum who managed to make me watch it...hahahaha

well...its a cool movie..
i guess we all need a vampire in our life isn't it?

at least i do..
all the terrible sweetness...
the beautiful yet horrifying truth...
the cold but warm heartfelt yearning...
the excruciatingly painful but fulfilled needs...
the terrorizing yet devoted selfless sacrifice..

and all the lies of its existence that is hard to disbelieve, that there is nobody out there like edward cullen or harry potter who's going to save you apart from yourself ...

its just so gorgeous~

obsession cylces

2011-01-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

day in and day out, i always wonder when i will be even more wiser?
each day i fought to forget all the painful memories but still the heartache remains...
its confusing...
therefore i abandoned the effort of forgetting the memories
so i fought again for other kind of answers, for medicine to heal this pain
and to remain inside my own head...
yet nothing seems to work...
nevertheless i searched still, wondering if whatever i am doing right now, the present life that i am trying to fulfill is actually the correct path at all..i turn to people i trust most, but i realize that none of their words are convincing...the strongest one seems to be accusing me for being utterly stupid for trying to love something else when the heart remains elsewhere...
thus, its heart versus mind...and i am caught in between...
still the pain remains etched somewhere in this bodily casing~
so, i went back to square one, again and again and again...forcing myself to again forget the painfully beautiful memories..and i realize that this obsession has been a continuing cycle for what seems like forever..

only now i understood a little bit more, its not the memory of whatever things we've done together that makes this heartache permanent, but the emotions, the feelings we've both shared that bonds us in this everlasting yearning and misery...
though the time given was limited for you and me, but it was meaningful emotionally~
we are not obsessed by the memories of us, but we are obsessed with the emotions we put each other into...at least i am...

then how in the world are we going to be able to forget emotions? to give it up? to at least get rid of it?

kuching retreat

2011-01-14T12:05:00.000+08:00

3-5 January 2011 becomes the day where i can finally say that i have been to all states in Malaysia...yep, like i said, i might not have been to all the nooks and cranny of the country, but at least i have left my footprint in all of the states..yes!!!!!!!!!

for me, kuching is just like another ipoh plus melaka city for me....its not as exotic as sabah, nevertheless i still enjoyed the place..because we only have 3 days 2 nights, there isn't much place to go..so we only go around the city and some other outskirt places like crocodile farm, cultural village and semenggoh forestry reservation.....of all the 3 places that we've been, only the cultural village we are denied entry as the fee is too much for us which is rm60 unless we bring any documents to say that we are students to get the student fee which is rm15...which is totally ridiculous...rm60 is 4 times more expensive than rm15 and who would have thought to bring their student card at all times except when going to the cinemas???crazy people..i am a Malaysian for goodness sake...rm 60 is only for foreigners because they are rich or whatever..we came thus far and it was the most horrible experience we ever had at Kuching and i will hate you forever...and i will never be there again unless my life at stake...

in the clouds!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooohhh i cannot sleep in the flight because of this cute fluffy clouds..they look exactly like cotton candy...and i am famished!!

in the penambang crossing the sarawak river to find some food..this is an hour after we land in Kuching...watching the bot owner, he pedals like he is dancing..huk

this is something they stick on the ground...for us to read about the history obviously, only i dun understand why anyone would ever want to crouch on the ground to read those minuscule writings..madness

had some sarawak laksa and mee kolok....it was heaven though i can't deny that the laksa's smell reminds me of chinese herbal eggs...hehehehe

fort magherita...only when we came its already closed...sigh~ anyway we managed to get pictures outside it and its a real beauty!

this is dewan undangan negeri, kuching..i dunno what's the theme of this building and i don't bother to find out..har9

night view from inside the penambang boat~EXCELLENT!!

this is where we had dinner...the first ever in my life i ate chinese food in a non-muslim chinese food court....the main course is seafood and the food was excellent and tooooo much for us but i guess i'll never step to this place again eventhough i saw many muslim families eating there...hehehehe

along the waterfront...excellent view but unfortunately we didn't manage to watch the sunset as its raining

day 2 first place we went, Chinese Muzium...

crocodile farm...mmmm i could've watched this crocs at many other places without the need to go to Kuching..

this is a real treat because we watched the orang utan being fed, nearly get serious injury because one of the tree branches suddenly fall on us and one of the orangutan's name is annuar...hahahahahha...this is the last place we visited though...i wish i had recorded the way the rangers call the orangutans..

ASTANA..a castle built by james brooke for his daughter or whatever...i think...forgive me if its wrong...ahaks

mission 2011

2011-01-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

JANUARY: visits Kuching, thus i am officially malaysian because i have been to all states in malaysia..well, i might not be able to visit every part of the states, but i guess that's enough for now..this month also i need to enter sem 10..not just enter, but enter it with high spirit..yes

FEBRUARY: study

MARCH: study

APRIL: study

MAY: celebrate my 24th birthday (25/5/11)...well, i want a good one because it'll be my last one among my dear friends and family...it is going to be another long time before i am going to celebrate it with them again i suppose..dunno what the future holds for me..and yes, the most important thing about this month is my exit exam, held at the end of it..i need to be prepared by now!!!!!!!

JUNE: get mentally prepared to become a doctor..(i don't think any other things should be more important than this)...and try and get myself placed in hospitals in sabah and sarawak..i've decided that i am too young to be settling down at 1 place only...i should walk around and see people from different walks of life..maybe i need to plan for my wedding, that all depends on the time left after pro 3

JULY: become a good House officer (if i already become one) and try hard to give all the best a patient should receive as a human being and as a malaysian..and once i am an HO, i wanna start saving up money for a car and to go for pilgrimage with my mum as soon as possible..i don't want to go for Hajj at old age..huk

AUGUST: undecided just yet

SEPTEMBER: if i am already a HO at a hospital in sabah or sarawak, i wanna fly my mum over there and celebrate her birthday there! yes...that'll be nice...

OCTOBER: undecided just yet

NOVEMBER: i've booked 11/11/11 for something but i am not quite sure what its for...i guess i'll just have to wait and see or plan something earlier so when it reaches this date, it'll be perfect..(whatever am i talking about? i am not making sense at all)

DECEMBER: review my achievements and see if i can announce myself as the best person the earth ever have..huk.. i must have a car already, a bit of a fortune to get myself and mum to Mekah, a house, some money to get my mum a new car...maybe a baby~

done and starting again~

2010-12-31T13:50:00.000+08:00

done with my 2nd professional exam and passed it already
which means i get to enter sem 10 with pride...hehehe
but thats already the past...
no point talking about it anymore..
i won't say i am doing it good anyway but hey, that's about it..
i have to look forward to this last sem into my doctorate degree..
damn, that's scary~
but haven't i said that i will keep fighting?
yep, that, i will do~

adios 2010, welcome 2011

p/s: i am off to kuching for 3days 2 night...wee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so sad

2010-12-30T10:10:00.000+08:00

when it comes to the differences between religions, people should watch "my name is khan"
then you will know..humans are all the same..regardless of their belief, creed and race..color..
we all have the same red blood, share the same round earth, the same shining sun, the same beautiful stars..
what differs us from others is our deeds...you may be a Muslim, but if you act like a person with no heart and sympathy, making other people's life miserable, can you proudly say that you are a Muslim..? or if not proudly, can you even say you are a Muslim??

do not use Islam as a reason to make you politically successful..
it just makes you look stupid..
we are all Muhammad saw's beloved ummats..he says so when he is dying..he never says his ummat are only the Muslims.. we are all his ummat..
he never forbids non-Muslim to come to the mosque wearing whatever they wanted..
he didn't even get angry when a non-Muslim went into the mosque and pee in it...he only clean it up quietly and advices the person, which make the non-Muslim opens his heart and becomes a Muslim..
whats more just for an exercise with all the other Muslims, would you imagine the prophet will be ever be angry about it??

isn't that the beauty of Islam?
it has never make restrictions to anything at all...
it all depends on your heart and niat..

people around the world (apart from Malaysia) enters the mosque regardless of their religion to learn about Islam..freely...and the Muslim brothers there greets them with pleasure in whatever cloth they are wearing...why can't we become like them instead of shove people away and tarnish the beauty of Islam??

it sickens me to the core...

it's not over yet~

2010-12-29T19:23:00.001+08:00

i despises exams..
however, i don't deny the need to follow its establishment..else i'll be stuck with this quarter a million loan or maybe more if i protests against exams..
despite that, i still fight to get thru...
unable to go against what i hate does not mean i am a coward..
but i am a fighter who takes challenges
i still need to fight for the betterment of my future, my country, my family, my hereafter..
because fighting is what humans are made for...
what i am made for

i will never stop fighting...
the outcome may be undesirable but maybe that's because i am not fighting hard enough just yet..
or maybe my plans are not working out well
or maybe those plans are just not good..
and that deserving success is not my option just yet..
well, fine~
at least i know i have done my part and i will continue doing so in a more organized strategies
with higher spirit...
with bold heart and bright head
so that i can proudly say that i am His servant who has NEVER quit..

tomorrow is D-day~

2010-12-28T19:15:00.002+08:00

D-day being death day...
hahahahahha
sonoknye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sok last paper...and paper yang paling mencabar tapi paling senang nak tanda pasal sumbat je masuk mesin and mesin tandekan...
hebatkan mesin tuh? aku siyes nak g jumpe ngan mesin tuh and kasik jahanam same die pasal kalo org yang tande, tendency untuk tersilap tanda tuh tinggi...hahahahaha

bongoks..
seperti biase, malam neh aku takmo study
mau makan kek and berangan ape nak bwat kuching nanti (hopefully tercapaila hajatku ini~) hehehehe
drooliinngg~~

a post before mandi~

2010-12-28T08:18:00.001+08:00

3 papers down...2 more to go

i was just hoping that someone out there will say, you are doing really well and i am proud of you..

so that i will be able to walk these next 2 papers with at least the smallest spring under my feet..3 papers can almost always determine just how badly or good-ly you have done...

but its only a cross-sectional views of what you are capable of..

you prepared well, studied well and you forced your brain to work to its fullest remembering the important details..and when the exam come, your heart just simply fails you..but remember that God is and always still there..He who never fails anyone like human did to another human being...

exams are not a diagnostic procedure to confirm that your brains are just empty...

its there to rank you~

in ALLAH we trust~

2010-12-27T17:50:00.001+08:00

“Barangsiapa bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Dia akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar.

Dan memberi rezeki kepadanya tanpa di sangka-sangka.

Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkannya.

Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan yang dikehendakiNya.

Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu.”

At-Talaq 2-3

lepas geram

2010-12-25T18:54:00.001+08:00

selepas menangis seperti si gila kerane stress dengan exam tadi (ye, saye sangat2 depress sebab terase diri ini sangat2la bodoh tahap cipan langit ke lapan belas), make malam tuh kami meng-treat ourselves dengan foods!! hahahaha

kedai neh agak baru la tapi da lame la...(mende aku cakap neh)

name die red wok

and juadah die more kepade chinese and thai food...steamboat pon ade..buffet pon ade...

tapi meskipon kitorang neh tengah stress, tapi takdelah deserve plak makanan yang cam mahal gile sampai rm30 seorang kan...gile sangat tuh..

aku makan nasik paprik je...tapi memang kalo korg tengok tade rupe nasi paprik yang normal yang biase korang tgk tuhla..nasik die macam normal la kan, tapi lauk die daging yang berkuah kaler hitam taruk cendawan dan cili benggala (HAHAHAHA) and rase die lebih kepade blackpepper punye cooking and memang sedap amatlaaa...memang harge die berbaloi dengan rasa yang boleh dapat kat hotel tuh...ngaa..teringat pon da terliur...seb bek da pokai

die plak makan nasik ayam masam manis...yang neh memang aku tabik spring tahap meloncat ah....ayam die digoreng crispy and ade kuah sour yang manis juge...gandingan mantap yang membuatkan aku takley lupe..haihhhh...sedap weyh!!! and aku tak tipu kalo aku cakap sedap pasal kalo die rase biase2 je aku lagi suke dok diam..hahaha

and air plak aku minum ais blended peach yang memang best gile...masam manis yang tak terlalu over..sedang2 and memang kene ngan taste bud aku..pait plak minum mango...die cam puree ke ape tapi kat dasar die mango..for him, aku tau die ade kedai air mango faverit die, so that one yang ktorg minum malam tuh comes second la kot...

harge tak sampai rm25 pon...and kalo die mahal pon berbaloi la pasal kualiti makanan die da tahap hotel..
jangan riso, halal punye kedai neh~
aku pegi pon sebab ade sorang lecturer aku da pergi bawak famili die..so tryout aku punye turn la eh..
kalo sesape nak pegi, tempat neh sebenarnye aku rase susah sikit nak carik kalo org tak familiar dengan area bangi...tapi lets say sesape nak pegi gak redah, ianye terletak di area seksyen 7, bandar baru bangi...taman kajang impian ye..(pelik dok? kejap bangi kejap kajang tapi itulah hakikatnye...huhu)

red wok, ko tggu ah bile aku ade duit nnt aku konfem datang lagik...hahahha

have faith in Allah~

2010-12-24T16:27:00.001+08:00

MAHER ZAIN: INSHAALLAH

Every time

You feel like you cannot go on

You feel so lost and that you're so alone

All you see is night

And darkness all around

You feel so helpless you can't see which way to go

Don't despair

And never lose hope

'Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah

You'll find your way

Every time

You commit one more mistake

You feel you can't repent and that it's way too late

You're so confused

Wrong decisions you have made

Haunt your mind and your heart is full shame

But don't despair

And never lose hope

Coz Allah is always by your side

Turn to Allah

He's never far away

Put your trust in Him

Raise your hands and pray

Ya Allah

Guide my steps, don't let me go astray

You're the only one who can show me the way

Show me the way

InshaAllah

We'll find the way

"ya ALLAH aku hanya berserah kepada kekuasaanMu...seandainya kejayaan aku menjadikan aku lebih dekat denganMu dan menjadikan aku insan yang mampu membantu hamba2Mu, maka Kau bantulah aku untuk mendapatkan kejayaan ini...seandainya tidak, sesungguhnya Kaulah Tuhan yang Maha Adil lagi Penyayang..."

pass ke tak?

2010-12-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

huk..
saye da nak exam hari jumat neh..
kalo kantoi make tak masuk ah sem 10 iaitulah sem terakhir..
saye sangat pening..nak bagi pass ke tanak..
sebab, kalo pass, sape plak kate lepas tuh dah tade exam?
and sape plak kate kalo pass, exam lepas neh lagi senang dari yang saye nak amek neh??
sigh~
kalo tak pass plak, sampai bile saye nak jadik budak sem 9 eh?
takkan takmo keje...?
keje pon satu hal...sape kate keje best?
sonok ah pasal dapat duit, tapi pengorbanan kerje tuh bukan calang2...
last2 duit banyak tapi tataw nak bwat ape...
hurm~
macam tah pape plak kan?
tuhla, sape soh gatai nak amek course neh (saye ke yang nak ke sape yang nak sebenarnye ye?)
lagi satu hari tinggal and then exam akan bermule...
saye tataw saye da sedia ke belum ke...
doa dan tawakal jela sebab kalo nak ikotkan buku neh bertindan2 memang sampai kene kapan pon tataw sempat abis ke tak kalo nak bace semua..
semoga ilmu yang saye study neh diberkatilah so walaupon tak dapat nak bace semua, tapi still dapat pass exam..
aim saye tak tinggi mane sangat pon..
apelah sangat kalo dapat dean's list ke distinction ke..dlu dapat distinction pon tak dapat pape...hahaha
so sekarang takmo ah bende2 kebendaan neh...just nak kasik pass and jadik orang yang berfungsi bile dah kerja nanti...at least tau la ape nak bwat bile berdepan dengan sebarang masalah..
hurm~
boleh ke pass ye skrg neh?
tengok semua orang study bagai nak gila, tapi saye rase seperti sangat complacent sahaje...
padahal hari2 pon bukak buku..tapi macam tatau ape2 jugak lagik..
blur dah..
tataw dah ape nak bace lagi..
mungkin continue jelah ape yang dibuat skrg..
dari tak bwat pape seperti mengup-date blog..

MAKAN BUDAK!!!!!!!!!!

ye tak?
hahahahaha

the oddity~

2010-12-17T13:55:00.000+08:00

went to natural muzium aka muzium alam semulajadi at precint 15 putrajaya and saw excellent rocks which is of course not the normal rocks you'll see in your daily life..i am not a rock lover, unless you count the ones that sits on my fingers (none~)...though i'd really love to have one of those meteor rocks that they've turned into rings, lockets and earrings which they are selling there and kinda pricey but of course they are rocks from the moon that landed on the earth man!! how cool is that??? you might not be able to bring your love ones to the outer space (even Sheikh Muszaffar can't do that, poor darling wifey~hahaha) but you definitely can bring the outer space thingy for you love ones...hehehehehe..so here are some pics...unfortunately i forgot to snap those lovely meteor rings and lockets...shite~

this one has got some fossils on it...i thought it was roses frozen to the stone but actually they are snails...hahahaha

this one definitely has got a leaf on it...cool ehh

this is a stone with multiple dinosaur eggs stucked on it...i thought it was a dinosaurs's gallbladder with stones in it..huk~ cute right? stones that become stones

i dunno what this is..it says there dessert rose but it most definitely does not resemble any kind of roses that i know

this is a stone of some type that i cannot spell that has been carved into a statue made for someone by someone from a gobbledegook island..hihi

ooooo...i love this stone cez it looks like the organization of my plates in my kitchen..har (yes, i do have a VERY wide imagination)

this is a thing called small dean (i am NOT joking)..to whomever that aspires to become a dean, maybe you need one of this in your living room...for luck..(yeah, i am joking~) haha

ah, a long lost friend of his...hahahaha...see, the same shirt color~auww so sweet...harharhar (i am DEFINITELY joking)

the reason that i am dead and being reborn again is that this bryde whale ate me and got himself preserved so that i am being released again...

mandrhfbgreyhbvdkjsnasdbehjfbwehedawsn!!!

2010-12-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

marah dan bosan dengan 2 bende ini pada hari ini:

1. setelah sekian lama tak bukak paper selain dari kosmo, make arini adelah hari bersejarah bagiku sebab bukak another paper berheading biru...paper tuh ade la dalam 10 muke surat tuh and each helaian aku rase nak muntah je...bukan sebab bende tuh busuk or ade gambar scary-mary tapi each headline die sume dok mengutuk orang tak hengat...menyampah betol la...dahla mengutuk kat dalam TV..neh dalam paper nak tambah lagi...memang siryes aku tak tipu neh...buuuwwwweeekkkk~~~aku tak kate la paper lain tade bende2 tuh. tapi dah paper yang neh yang aku bukak, so naseb ko la...hahahahaha...last2, aku campak terus paper tuh ketepi...seb bek selame neh tak penah beli paper macam tuh, at least tak membazir duit aku beli bende yang taunye mengutuk orang n tataw pun kesahihannye...(lucky aku bukan artis...har9)

2. crazy motorcyclist yang tak penah belajar care2 nak tengok dan menggunekan lampu isyarat..bengong betolla...tak sedar diri ke yang kalo sebarang kemalangan berlaku, pemandu motosikal akan terime akibat paling dasat berbanding orang lain? most of them die on the spot kot...untuk orang2 neh, aku nasihatkan la, sile la jadik selfish sikit ~~(ke sebab selfish jadik camnie?)~~...ko takmo pedulik pasal orang lain takpe ah bai, tapi sile pedulik pasal diri sendrik ye...huh~

sekian~

go computer...GO!!!!

2010-12-15T12:25:00.000+08:00

not some sort of race..yep~
its just so amazing that even when my laptop is lazing about in another ~~country~~ city and serving another owner.. i can still get my blog and facebook and emails functioning...
n i am not supposed to do so...cez that's the whole point of leaving my own laptop in the faraway land~duh~

supposed to be having a revision class today but i don't feel like going...i guess, classes are just not good for my stress level, else i might need some BP pills...

nervous breakdown

2010-12-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

i hate exam and what it did to me...

my circadian sleep wake cycle is totally disrupted
that i cannot sleep at all at night which is very well cez i can spend the night reading or praying...
and then theres the light-headedness during subuh due to lack of sleep..
so i sleep after subuh which is SO NOT VERY WELL..cez, sleeping after subuh means bad luck right? but i have been sleeping after subuh for all my life...kekeke
but the shitty thing about trying to sleep is that sleep just won't come because of this painful shoulders..
i just can't get into the at-least-comfortable position to sleep, what's more getting into the most comfortable position and its irritating the hell out of me i almost scream into nothingness at 6.00am in the morning which is also supposed to be bad luck...
i HATE this shoulder..

and i woke up at 1.00pm....and wondering how sleep can actually withdraw my thoughts out of my already empty brain and thick skull (i sound like someone i despise!) and causes me to be unable to remember anything i read the night before....
well, no wonder i just can't sleep...sleep is a scary, thought-catching thing that haunts the night and makes me a zombie when i woke up and the thought of not knowing anything only makes life worse...

damn whoever creates exams and its establishment...who are you? may you rot in hell....dear trees, please pray with me, because the whole wide world knows that exams are the many sole cause of your extinction...

right place, right moment?

2010-12-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

i am currently at home...

and i am in a middle of my study leave....

get it??

oh maybe you don't get it...

let me make this easy...

home and study leave is the worst combination ever..~

i can't concentrate at all...

and home makes me feels like: eh, what the heck is exam for~ i don't need it...huuu~

bad..bad...this is real BAD!!!

oh but what the heck? (i just said that a second ago)

i don't need exams...i NEED my family~ hehehehe

i have watched Princess and the Frog for the how many times and only yesterday i understood the moral of the story...which is, prioritize your objective in life and do not let life hazes your views on what you really need and what you want..they ain't the same thing~